The Christmas Gift List For Self Love

"We wish you a Merry Christmas. We wish you a Merry Christmas.... Lalalalalala"

It is that time of year where we hear the Christmas carols blasting forth from every shopping mall and we are all rushing around buying gifts for our loved ones.

Heaven forbid that we forget one of our loved ones! But I bet you do . Every year.

When was the last time that you bought yourself a gift for Christmas? ( Actually, when was the last time that you bought yourself a gift for your birthday? Or just to celebrate you?).

Back in the day, when I was a solo mum with two little boys I would buy my own birthday presents, mothers day gifts and Christmas presents. Hell, I even bought myself regular bunches of flowers because I was worth it.

Even now that I am happily married I still go buy myself gifts and Yes, my husband knows about them!( I buy him gifts too!)
Often we will see posts of the "Top Ten Gifts to give this Christmas" or "Things your partner will love this Christmas" but this post is a little different... it is all about things you can buy or do for yourself. Yup it is all about you, baby.

(1) Time
Okay I know you can't buy time. I also know that this time of year we all get a teeny, tiny bit frenetic so what I am suggesting is this... give yourself some time. Block out a chunk of time on your schedule where you take an hour, a day, a weekend, whatever works for you and just  chill out. By yourself.
This is a luxury more than any money can buy and one we all deserve to treat ourselves to on a regular basis.

Except we don't.

Instead we say "yes" to another Christmas function that we would rather have our teeth pulled than go to. We say "yes" to spending time with people we don't want to spend time with because "we really must catch up before the end of the year" or family guilt or whatever. So instead I am suggesting that you make an appointment in your diary/day planner/calendar app for you to catch up with you. Then when you are asked if you are available on such and such a day you can reply  that you already having something booked then so won't be able to make it.

Voila! just like that time opens up for you.

(2) Journal  

I have gone a little bit journal crazy this year. I kicked  off the year reading "The Artist's Way" by Julia Cameron and I have been journaling ever since.

I like to think of it as a conversation with myself. I discover all sorts of things by asking myself questions and then taking the time to delve deeply into the answers. I have already filled numerous notebooks and aim to fill even more. Yes, I do it by hand. You can do it however you want but there is something visceral about grabbing a book and a pen and sitting down for a few minutes every morning.

Create a ritual around your journaling. Light a candle, burn some incense, grab a hot drink and sit in the same place and then begin to write. Pour it all out on to the page. All of it. All the stuff you have been carrying around in your head. All the things you tell yourself late at night when you can't sleep. all the tings that you dream of. Everything.

What will happen?

You will free yourself up of carrying all this stuff. You will gain new insights and clarity around issues that have been bugging you. Oh, and you will sleep better ( well that's one benefit that has shown up for me)


 
(3) Jade Egg

Get yourself a jade egg. Jade eggs are used to  tone and strengthen your pelvic area but they do much more than that . They reconnect you to your sensual self. They give you permission to engage with your own pleasure and we all need more of that in our lives. Check out Saida Desilets* for more information on the benefits of using a jade egg.

(4)  Reconnect to your Inner Goddess

In my  forties I declared myself a Sex Goddess and it totally transformed my life. I felt sexier, more confident and more myself than I had for a long time. I gave myself permission to be fully myself without holding back in order to be the "good girl". You can read all about in in my book "The Goddess Guide to Sex, Love and Life"  .

When we reclaim ourselves as a Goddess we are tapping into the Divine Feminine energy that we naturally embody and that is our birthright and we heal those parts of us that have been wounded by the current masculine  doing-doing-doing, driven system that operates in this world. The Divine Feminine comes from a place of being, stillness and presence. when we connect with this sense of being we can drop back down from our heads  into our bodies and tap into our intuition for more guidance and clarity in life.

Sign up for my newsletter to be notified when my upcoming Awaken Your Inner Goddess course launches and come and join us in the Awaken Your Inner Goddess Facebook group


(5) Unplug

We are so connected with our smartphones always  by our side, beeping and buzzing with incoming texts and  notifications. The trouble is it isn't making us any happier or any more connected to the people around us. In fact it is having quite the opposite affect  where more and more people are feeling isolated and alone. It just takes a glance around your local coffee shop to see why - people sitting at the same table but glued to their phone instead of interacting with each other.

It is a great idea to designate one day a "switch off" day where you leave your phone off, step away from the computer and just be.

Which one of these gifts will you give yourself?

Returning to my hippie roots

I have always been a bit of a hippie.

When I first left home, at 18, it was to live in a housebus with my boyfriend and travel around the country. When we finally settled down it to live in a house  we built out of nothing in the back of beyond. It was one kilometre to our letterbox over hills and valleys.

We had no electricity and I cooked on a wood stove year round.( I still miss that wood stove) I baked our bread from scratch, no bread makers back then. And I was, literally, barefoot and pregnant.

Jump forward 30 odd years and here I am again living in rural NZ. This time I have a lovely house and a five minute drive to the closest town.

I am still barefoot but now all my kids have grown up and left home and two of my boys have kids of their own.

We have solar power to heat our water and a wetback in the fireplace to heat it in the winter. We are ,quietly, thinking of getting a wood stove to replace the fire place so we can cook on it . ( told you I missed the wood stove).

We have a flock of chickens and a rooster that never stops crowing. We also have fruit trees galore and a little patch of wild, regenerating native bush. Our property is our orchardist neighbors nightmare, it is all overgrown and wild and we love it.

Ugli fruit from our tree

Now that I am spending my time at home writing I get to see all the wonders of nature up close and personal. I get to look out at the ever changing view; our little patch of sea view that gleams brightly on sunny days and disappears into the mist on rainy days. I can watch the tuis singing in the flax bush while they sip greedily on the nectar. I can see the hawks swooping in the sky or rising , gently on the thermals.

I also have all sorts of things brewing on my bench. Kefir is always on the go and we now have a source of beautiful raw, organic milk - just like the good old stuff, straight from the cow.

 

 

 

Kefir, kombucha and fermented vegetables brewing on the bench

We have finally perfected making kombucha, in fact one of our bottles exploded the other day because it got so fizzy. We have been trying all sorts of flavors and mixes and have even started adding in various herbs to give it more of a tonic value.

Nothing beats a cold glass of kombucha on a hot day, nothing!

And now I am making smudge sticks out of  various herbs we have growing. Oh my God these smell so delicious

Smudge sticks

Master Tonic brewing

The plan this year is to grow a bigger herb garden and create lots of tonics and home remedies. Nothing beats having a storehouse of herbal remedies at your fingertips. Herbal teas, herbal cream  oh yes I am totally kicking my Hippi,Witchy - ness into high gear and it feels so good.

The beauty of all this is a deeper connection with Mother Earth and my own innate Goddessness. I am harvesting by the moon. I am infusing my herbal blends with Reiki and crystal energy.

More than that I am taking back my power.

I am taking it back from the supermarket chains who are exhorting me to buy this product to clean this thing.

I am taking it back from the beauty industry that is telling me I need to shave here, moisturize that, dye this. Um, No thanks. I like my own smells. I don't need to smell like  some chemical conception. I would much rather use some essential oil blend, create my own personalised, fragrance and cleansing potions for my skin at a fraction of the price.

I am taking it back from the pharmaceutical companies who are creating a pill for every ill that is making us sicker and needing yet another pill to counterbalance the side effects of the first pill until people are taking a handful of pills every day. I also realize that I am blessed with good health so I am working every day to keep that true for me and mine and the longer I can stave off the need for any drugs the happier I am.

I am also not reckless and if we needed medication I would be the first one to hop in the car and head to the doctor. In the meantime I am creating tonics and herbal teas and stocking my house with all the goodness that I can

What is your favorite herbal remedy? Or do you have a cleaning product or beauty product that you make?

Queen of Procrastination

You can probably guess from my title that I am the Ultimate Queen of Procrastination.

I also loathe and detest housework.

But a funny thing happens when I have work that I am supposed to be working on..... I suddenly feel an overwhelming urge... to clean.

I have come to see this for what it is.... a desperate urge to not be working on what ever I am supposed to be working on. Sometimes I give in and just get to work . But occasionally I go the other way and clean.

Which is what has happened today.

I have been in a funk for days. Can't settle to work. Can't think of anything to blog about. And then I start noticing all the things that I normally turn a blind eye to; the cobwebs draped sexily from, well everywhere, the bathroom sink that needs a good scrub, the laundry that has piled up and needs putting away and the floors that need a brisk mop.

Today I took it to a whole new level and decided to tackle my ever mounting stash of glass bottles, jars and the two drawers of lids (TWO DRAWERS!) I have an endless fascination with glass bottles and jars. I cannot bear to throw them away and recycling  feels senseless when the item is still perfectly usable. ( just checked out the page in the link and I might feel a bit better about recycling it all now).

I love to store all my stuff in glass jars. No sooner have I come home from the supermarket than anything in a plastic bag or box is emptied into its own glass jar. *happy sigh* There is nothing I love more than jars full of nuts and seeds all nicely displayed in my pantry in their glass jars.

Right now my pantry is sparkling clean, my kitchen drawers are organised and  I have two bags of rubbish to off load and  a box of jars to donate .

And lo and behold my funk has lifted, inspiration has struck and all is right with the world.

The genius of clutter clearing is that it not only gives you a sparkly clean house but it also clears things on an energetic level.

I know when I am seeking clarity in my life I often decide to clean my windows.  It always amazes me how a simple thing like decluttering your desk can shift your energy to a better place.

I am currently obsessed with flowers and having bunches of flowers in my house also gives my spirits a big lift. Just looking at them brings a smile to my face. My husband seems to have picked up on that and has been picking me roses from his work.

Here's a bunch I picked from my garden.

Meanwhile, I have to get back to finishing off the cleaning that I started while I am on a roll.

What do you do to get yourself out of a bad mood or to shift your vibration?

Loving yourself through changes

Loving yourself is never a one-and-done deal.

There is always more of you  to love.

 Why?
 Because who you are today is different to who you were yesterday.. or last week or last month... or five years ago.

Change is the only constant.

Our beliefs change. we learn new things and things that we believed years ago, we now realize don't hold true for us any more.

Our relationships change. People who were our best friends for a long time we no longer see any more because we grew apart. Or the person that we married and thought was the love of our life we now realize was just a temporary stop on our journey through love.

Our body changes. We gain weight or we lose weight. Our body ages and we now have trouble with our hearing or our eye sight or our body just feels different than it used to.

And so we have to fall in love with our self... over and over again. Just like we do with our significant other.

I discovered this for myself recently. I am currently losing weight without even trying. Let me back up for a minute and say that I was always skinny growing up. My mother was always trying to convince me to eat and I was a picky, picky eater ( and as all mother's do she cursed me by saying " I hope you have a child as fussy as you when you grow up". Thanks Mum, I did, with bells on!). I was alsop teased unmercifully by adults and children alike. 

I was told not to stand side on or I might disappear altogether, that I was lucky my legs didn't snap and run up my arse ( who says that to someone?), that I should be careful in the wind in case I got blown away. That is just the adults. This kids just called me "stork legs"

I stayed skinny until I turned thirty although I was always terrified of becoming fat and obsessed over my weight.

Then came the perfect storm: I got pregnant to the man I was divorcing, I gave birth, got a tubal ligation, turned thirty and met the man of my dreams ... and his four girls. Not only did my hair start falling out in handfuls - so much that my hairdresser asked what to do about my bald patches but the weight ( which had all dropped off dramatically after the birth) all started piling on... and on ... and on.

I took a long time adjusting the image I had of myself to the image that was now in front of me. In my mind I was still slim. I tried eating differently. I tried exercising nothing changed.

It took me a long time to get comfortable and love my new body.

Over the past few years I have fallen deeply in love with my curvy body. I  called myself voluptuous. I claimed myself as a Sex Goddess. I wrote a book  and I shifted my mindset about what my body meant to me.

For the past couple of years I have been doing self love challenges and I am currently running Nurturing November ( a free email course. Sign up here ) and now the weight is falling off.

Yes, I changed my eating habits but not drastically. I am following the Paleo lifestyle ( I loathe to call it a diet becasue it doesn't feel like a diet at all) but not stringently. I have increased the amount of physical activity I'm doing because I have more energy although I wouldn't call it exercising ( that's in the plan though!)

But here's the thing my body is shedding the excess pounds which is great but I am also adjusting to the new slimmer me again. My clothes are getting lose and baggy. I have already gone down one size and these are now loose on me too.

As the pounds are dropping off I am learning to love myself in a new way. The stretch marks are becoming deeper and more noticeable now they are not stretched over fat, my breasts are not as plump and round as they once were. Not only is my body losing weight but,of course, I am older than I was when I was last slim so everything is different.

Oh and menopause is definitely on the horizon. Fun times.

The biggest thing I am learning ( relearning, reminding myself, noticing) is that my body really is only a very small part of who I am  and the Me that I have to love is the one who lies inside all of that. So I am loving myself a little more every day.


So here are my five tips to loving yourself through change:

(1) Change is inevitable.
 Accept that change is going to happen. If you keep struggling to keep things the same you are going to miss out on all the fun.

(2) Get comfortable with the new "normal" 
Once you accept that change is happening embrace it. All change feels uncomfortable at first but struggling with it, resisting it will only make the transition last longer and feel miserable in the process.

(3) Be gentle with yourself.
Some days everything will feel fine and others you will struggle with. It is all okay. Beating yourself up for having a bad day won't help. Taking a warm bath and going to bed early might be just the thing you need. Gentle, gentle.

(4) Look at yourself in the mirror every morning and say "I love you"
Keep reminding yourself how much you love you. Even on the days you feel like crap. Especially on the days you feel like crap. Do something you love. Treat yourself like your own best friend.

(5) Celebrate!
Take the time to acknowledge how far you have come . Every small step in the direction you want to go is a huge victory so take the time to celebrate. And keep going!

Hot Mess Sisterhood

Let's face it on any given day we can all be a bit of a hot mess.

i know that when I was growing up I thought that by the time I reached X age I would totally have all my shit together.

I am 53.

I am still waiting for that day.

The truth is we are all making it up as we go along.

When we were kids it looked  like all the adults knew what they were doing. They knew how to parent, drive a car, balance a checkbook, keep food on the table and keep their relationship going. To be honest my parents relationship didn't look that great so I was taking notes on "what I don't want in a relationship". Turns out I wasn't paying close enough attention  but that's a story for another day.

I left home at 18 and moved straight in with my boyfriend and thought that now I would have my shit together and begin to "adult". Boy, was I wrong. I went on to have kids and figured now I would know how to "adult". Nope, wrong again. Instead I suffered from post natal depression and our kindly doctor told us that I needed loving support from my husband. Instead I left him when my son was four months old.

We got back together but eventually I left him.

With two young kids I figured now I would begin to get my life sorted. Oh, how I laugh! Instead I got pregnant to my ex and then divorced.

I have just staggered from one cluster fuck to the next all in the guise of being an "adult" and "knowing what I am doing". I did make some smart moves though, namely meeting and marrying my current husband.

I am older and wiser now but life can still knock you sideways which is what happened to me a few years back when I went through a complete nervous breakdown. And just like Brene Brown's therapist I call it a Spiritual Awakening ( watch until the 11 minute mark to get the reference).

I dissolved into a heap. I didn't function. I went on antidepressants which is so against everything I believed up until that point.

This wasn't supposed to happen to me. I am a therapist. I am the one that helps people and here I was, not even able to help myself. It took me a long time to pull myself back together and it took lots of self care, lots of unending support from my beloved husband and time, lots of time.

Then it became my dirty, little secret. I felt like a fraud helping people when I had fallen apart so spectacularly. I didn't want to share about it. I didn't want to blog about it (although the nudge to do so has been there for a long time) I kept it to myself.

So why am I sharing it now?

Because we all have crap days.

Because talking about our shit, heals our shit.

Because I want you to know that I know.  I know what it is like to fall apart. I know what it is like to struggle. To struggle with being a Mum and wondering if you are doing a good job . To struggle with the idea of leaving and "what will that do to the kids?" . To struggle with an inopportune pregnancy and weigh all of that up. To struggle with starting anew relationship when there are kids involved.

Because I survived it all and thrived and I know you can too.

Because putting all my cards on the table feels real and raw and vulnerable and powerful and empowering all at the same time.

Because reclaiming myself as a Sex Goddess and stepping fully into my authenticity is just how I roll.


Want to join me? Check out my book "The Goddess Guide to Sex, Love and Life"

Or come join me over at Awaken Your Inner Goddess Facebook group

Gorgeously Gray - a journey in self acceptance

My hair first started going gray in my late twenties. At the time I was going through a divorce, had just given birth to my third child and started a new relationship with a divorced Dad of four girls. Not only did I start going gray my hair also decided to start falling out, in clumps. Thankfully that trend soon righted itself but the grays kept on coming.
Not being one to shy away from things to do with my body I decided to dye my hair black (it was a dark brown to start off with) and to enhance my grays by getting the whole piece dyed silver.

Want to read more?  Go check it out at The Huffington Post http://www.huffingtonpost.com/caitlin-grace/refuse-to-dye-gray-hair_b_8298354.html

Body shame

We all know that we are supposed to love our body.

And we all have that one niggly part of us that we just wish looked better.

That spot is different for all of us. For some its their thighs, or their cellulite. For others it is the size and shape of their nose.

Still others wish that their butt was bigger or smaller or a tiny bit more pert.

And some of us resort to surgery to "correct" the imperfection.

It seems like no sooner have we got comfortable with ourselves than somebody ( and I have not even the vaguest notion of who it could be) comes up with yet one more thing that we should be striving to attain.

First it was the "perfect" vagina which saw a huge upswing in requests for labiaplasty which still continues to blow my mind on a regular basis. ( Go check out my other post on Your Amazing Vagina or Love your labia, ladies).


Then came the "thigh gap" which only a tiny number of people can attain. Although according to this article "thigh gap" is just a new name for "heroin chic"( seriously, who comes up with these names) which preceded it.

All any of this does is make us, as women, uncomfortable in our own skin. We feel that there is some unattainable standard that we are failing to meet. With the ubiquitous use of social media and hashtags we are able to compare ourselves to other women out there who are posting pictures of their perfect thigh gap. Or boast about their session at the gym. Or show you just what they are eating.

Which, for those that may already be feeling insecure about their bodies, just makes us all feel a little bit worse.

What if, instead of looking at all those pictures on Instagram we look in the mirror and tell ourselves how beautiful we are and how much we appreciate our body?

What if instead of comparing our body to some media image we set about falling back in love with our bodies and the gifts that they give us? Have you ever watched  a bay or a toddler playing ? they take a never ending delight in their own bodies, it is only as we get older that we switch to feeling like we are less than.

What if instead of looking at the pics of someone else's green juice or plate of healthy salad we head to the kitchen and create our own self nurturing, healthy concoction?

What if we told ourselves every day, endlessly, all day long that who we are is enough. That how we look is just fine?

What if we told each other how great we are and got really comfortable giving and receiving compliments? And not just for how we look but for the way that we go about our lives.

What if we made the best compliment that you could give someone "You are an awesome kick ass women" instead of "You look great. Have you lost weight?"

Step away from technology. Look in the mirror and remind yourself of all that you have been through and all that you have achieved and you are still here. Strong, capable, beautiful. Sure you may have a few silver hairs or a laugh line here and there maybe even a stretch mark or two They are marks that you have lived, where them with pride.


Want to learn how to let go of the past and move into your future with a deeper sense of self love? Then check out the Awaken Your Inner Goddess course.

Body Love

Let's face it  we are all insecure about our bodies.

Yes, even the super models have days when they obsess about one specific flaw that is undetectable to the human eye.

And it seems the pressure just keeps mounting.

We are supposed to be wafer thin, hairless with well defined arms and abs and the perfect, tight ass, long legs and gorgeous, pert breasts. Now, it seems we are also supposed to have the perfect looking vulva.

More and more young women are opting for labiaplasty to perfect their labia and "neaten" their vulva.  I have written about this before  (here's another one . Oh, ok one more or check out this cool new blog I have found  ) and I would love it if it didn't have to be talked about anyomore but the truth is we still don't know enough about our bodies and it is hurting us; mentally, emotionally and physically.

In many African and Muslim countries genital mutilation is a common practice to ensure that women do not enjoy the sexual act. This happens to young girls before they are even of an age to be sexual. Thankfully the practice is now becoming outlawed as people are , finally, waking up the barbaric nature of it.

Except in the West where women are now paying to mutilate their own genitals in the name of a "designer vagina" or a mistaken belief that it will make them more desirable.

Let's just look at the absurdity of this shall we?

(1) There are a limited number of people who will see your labia and anyone that is up close and personal and makes a comment about the look of your labia is simply disqualifying themselves from ever getting that close again. Because, let's face it, penises are not exactly gorgeous to look at either.

(2) Our genitals are packed full of nerve endings for the sole purpose of giving us pleasure. Any surgery that is done to this area will most definitely be compromising those nerve endings so while your vulva might look stylish the "ooohhhh ahhh-ness" will be severely diminished. Why would you do that to yourself?

More than anything we have to start loving ourselves and accepting our flaws as the unique characteristic that make us the unique little snowflake that we are.

What would Cindy Crawford look like without her signature mole? Or Nicole Kidman without her freckles? And think how much happier Micheal Jackson would have been if he had just loved himself instead of having endless plastic surgery?

Now I know accepting ourselves is easier said than done BUT ( and it is a big but) it is the only way that we get to be happy, content, life affirming individuals. The only other option is constant dissatisfaction, dieting, moaning about the size of our thighs, more dieting until we finally realise at age (Pick one. Because I guarantee that you will hit a certain age and realise that you wasted far too much of your youth worrying about some part of your body that is actually ok) that NONE OF IT MATTERS!.

It doesn't matter if your thighs touch - take a look at pictures of Marilyn Monroe.

It doesn't matter if your vulva is an innie or an outie.

It doesn't matter  if you have a physical flaw what matters is that you are alive and healthy and living your life.

That is all. Go be happy. Leave all the body doubts there on the floor.

For more advice on loving yourself check out my latest book "The Goddess Guide to Sex, Love and Life

Awakening Your Inner Goddess

I've been hiding!

Well that is not entirely true!

I have been busily working on the September Self Love Immersion ( you can still sign up here http://eepurl.com/bea4Bj) 
 I am also busily working away at creating the Awaken Your Inner Goddess on line program which I am really excited about . I have been working on this for aaaaaaggggggggeeeeesssss because I want to get it just right and really help women let go of all the old paradigms and beliefs that are holding them  back from truly being their most authentic selves, attracting the kind of relationship that nourishes their souls, reigniting the passion in their current relationship and move them into a place of deep peace and satisfaction with their lives.

For years, I was stuck in a relationship that just wasn't working. Sure we had an awesome sex life  and two great kids but I felt like something was missing. And it was. I was the one that was missing. Somewhere along the way I lost myself. I lost who I was outside  of being a Mum and someone's wife. I lost the part of me that lit up just by being myself. You can read more about my journey to reigniting myself in my book.

I have also been busily writing for The Huffington Post because my mission is to help as many women  as possible live lives of passion, purpose and as the Sensual Awakened Goddesses that they were born to be.

Here's the links to some of my posts:

How to raise caring sons

What are you waiting for?

5 tips to love yourself more

Making Love Last

Go check them out. Share them on your page or tweet them out and I will love you forever!

It 's beginning to feel a lot like Spring

Well it is here in NZ.

I love Spring. I love the newness of everything. I love the brisk mornings. I love seeing the buds getting bigger and bigger everyday, about to burst forth into a blaze of flowers.

Spring in all it's glory~

A funny thing seems to happen to me the closer that Spring gets.

I start cleaning.

Now if you have been reading my blog for a while or if you have read my book you will know that I am not a domestic Goddess. No, I don't like housework and avoid it for as long as I possibly can while not endangering anyone with health issues. I like my sanitary but not necessarily spotless. It always looks lived in, homely, but no, you can't eat off the floor ( and seriously, why would you want to?)

With all the cleaning, re-arranging, water -blasting (I love to water blast!) I have also taken to cooking up a storm in the kitchen. I am beginning to wonder if I am possessed.

What I think is actually happening is my creative juices are in full flow. I want to create a beautiful home space that feels welcoming and inviting. I want to cook nourishing foods that satisfy the eye and the taste buds. I want to fully express myself as the luscious, self loving Goddess that I am.

I am moving more fully into the fullest expression of myself every day. And writing is the key to my evolution. writing my blogs, writing my morning pages and creating content for my online programs ( hang in, there they are coming very soon).

I now write for the Huffington Post ( you can find my first two articles: one on making love last and the other on mothering sons, by clicking the highlighted links) and seeing so many people reading and sharing my words is a great feeling.

So there has been a lot of creating going on. Mine and Mother Nature's. And what have I cooked up for you? Ah well, it must be time for a new Self Love Immersion.

On September 1 I will be launching another FREE self love program ( you can sign up for the emails here ) . Each day, for the month of September, you will receive an email with prompt for ways to love yourself more. In this challenge I will also be giving you a daily writing challenge to help you on your journey of self discovery. Who know it may just get your creative juices flowing too.

The art of the grunt

Any mother of teenage boys will be familiar with the grunt.

Teenage boys seem to grunt as a regular form of communication. Grunts can signify everything from "Yeah school was fine, I'm going to my room to chill out. Talk to you later" to "Today sucked and I'm going to go hang out in my room and play video games"

After a while  as mothers, we become proficient at interpreting these grunts and know when we need to give them space or just go sit with them for a bit or just take them some food and back away quietly.

Since I left home at 18 I have lived in houses full of males. The only females have been my cat, the dog and for a brief time two of my step daughters.

In this time I have become proficient in the art of the grunt so much so that I now use it myself.

Four years ago my youngest son moved out which meant the house was reduced to my hubby and me. After all the years of raising kids we were, finally, alone. An interesting thing happened - we reverted to grunting at each other.

A grunt can mean " Want a cup of tea?" to "Yes, and its your turn to make it". We are in tune and totally in sync. We have moved beyond finishing each others sentences to knowing what the other is thinking or saying the same thing at the same time.

I know, it all sounds a bit sickening and it is all true.

Then my youngest moved home for a brief spell. He's no longer a teenager he's now in his early twenties and having him home has taken a bit of adjusting for all of us. I'm a slob and he's a clean freak ( seriously? how did that happen????). I have to keep reminding myself that he is an adult and not to do a motherly fuss over him.

The funniest part?

"Use your words Mum"  Yup, my grunting bothers him. And so he says to me what I used to say to him when he first started grunting.

Actually there are a few "Mum -isms" that he now says to me which makes me laugh out loud. You know you have really got into their heads when they repeat you back to you.

Have any of your kids come home to live for awhile? How have you coped? What was the most challenging part?

Come over to my Facebook page to join the discussion

Being Manly

Last night I was making spaghetti bolognese  and it came to the part where I have to open the jar of pasta sauce. The jar I use has a wide lid and I was struggling to open it so I walked to the cutlery drawer and took out a butter knife and slipped it between the jar and the lid until the suction broke and I could open it with ease.

I learned this trick when I was a young, solo mum .

My husband had watched me and said  "You should let me do it so I can show you how manly I am"

I said to him "I already know how manly you are and it has nothing to do with opening jars."

And it's true.

To me manliness is the million and one ways that he takes care of his family; me, my kids, his daughters, his father (we lost his Mum 18 months ago).

He showed me how manly he was when we were friends and I was pregnant with my youngest boy. He saw how tired I was from looking after the kids and being pregnant and he knew the Dad wasn't around so he took my kids for the weekend so I could rest. He also came and cut firewood for me so we could be warm.

He showed me how manly he was when we had to get our dog put down and he came home and spent the afternoon with me and we cried and hugged each other. she had been his constant companion for 15 years even though she was supposed to be my dog, for them it was love at first sight.

He shows me how manly he is everyday by going to a job to support us while I follow my dreams.

He shows me how manly he is when he is gentle with animals. Like the day he put food out for a baby hedgehog.

My darling talking quietly to a broody chook as he puts eggs under her for hatching

He shows me how manly he is when he hugs me tight like he will never let go when we have been apart for only a few days. And always texts me - every day.

To me, manliness isn't about brute strength. Instead it is about how open and soft and tender  you are . How vulnerable you can be  while never once losing the essence of manliness.

I watched a Brene Brown talk on shame and felt completely crushed when she spoke about one man who came and talked to her  and asked why she never wrote about the vulnerability of men. You can read the transcript here ( scroll down to 16:22 to see the quote I'm talking about). He was saying that the women in his life would rather see him die on his white horse than see him be vulnerable.

Which just made me unbearably sad , not just for him, but for his wife and daughters too. Some of the most profound and deeply bonding moments fro my husband and I have been when we have dropped all our guards and be completely naked and raw with each other.

Photo from Twin Flame Sacred Keys

 

If we don't allow our partner to be truly themselves, if we expect them to always be stoic and brave then we can't be surprised when they crack under the strain or get ill with heart disease or ulcers or drink or just want to hang out with their friends.

We are supposed to be there for each other and allowing each other to share all of their emotions with us is part of that package. Holding space for your man is incredibly powerful and heart healing for both of you.

What does manliness mean to you? What is the most manly thing your husband has done?

Becoming a Luscious Woman

Over the past few months something has changed. It was subtle at first but I am noticing it more and more each day.

It started when I published my book, The Goddess Guide to Sex, Love and Life, which had been a work in progress for a long time. Far too long , in fact. I kept putting it back on the shelf as "a nice idea but who would ever read it?"

Well, it actually started way before that but I have noticed it more and more this year. A yearning inside of me to be more - more Goddess-y, more feminine, more my authentic self.

So I started off by deciding I was a Goddess - not just any kind of Goddess mind you, no, I declared myself a Sex Goddess. And it felt GOOD! Something shifted straight away - I felt like I had come home to myself and was finally owning who I was.

But that still wasn't enough.

Then I found out about Jade eggs* and started using them. This started making me feel more alive, more sensual and more awake and tuned in to myself. Around this time I also started doing womb healing meditations. First ones that I created for myself and then ones from Kundalini Dance. I have now joined her Female Sexual Soul Healing course and love it.

All of these practices and meditations have healed and cleared away so much emotional dross that I wasn't even aware of until it was gone. Spending time tuning into myself and reconnecting with a deeper sense of being a woman is life changing.

I feel softer and more open on a daily basis. I recently started re-reading Danielle La Porte's* Desire Map book and started working through that process. How did I want to feel? What got me fired up?
And what came up was Divinely Feminine and Sensually Awakened. Now I start each day by asking myself how I can incorporate those feelings into my routine. What would a sensually awakened woman be doing right now?

Each day I spend time connecting to my center through womb breathing, my jade egg practice and meditation. Then I do my affirmations as I shower and then I do my morning pages. I started this at the beginning of the year from Julia Cameron's The Artist's Way and now it is part of my regular routine.

People are starting to notice the changes in me. They say I am looking softer and my husband has noticed a new glow about me.Over all I just feel more womanly which is crazy as I have been around for a while and you would have thought I would have had the whole "woman" thing down to a fine art by now.

I guess there is no age limit on coming into yourself, fully, freely and lusciously.

Do you feel like a luscious woman? What practices do you do that help keep you feeling tuned in and connected to your womanly center? Or would you like to start?

Follow any of the blue links above to find out more about living a luscious life.

*Please note the sites marked with an asterisk are affiliate links I do receive a commission if you purchase through those links.

Sticks and Stones

"Sticks and stones may break my bones.
But words can never hurt me."

We all know the rhyme. We were taught it when we went to school. The idea was that it would make us impervious to all the horrible things that the bullies said to us.

The fact is it is bullshit!

Broken bones mend and, if you are lucky, you get a cool story to tell about how you broke it.

For instance, I have broken the same arm four times, FOUR!

The first time was when I was about three and my sister pushed me down the stairs - I've never found out how many stairs there were.

The second time was when I was about eight and stood up on a skateboard for the first time going down hill.

The third time was when a boy chased me in the playground and stood on my jandal (thongs if you're an Aussie, flip flops if you are American). I hate jandals to this day.

The fourth time was at the end of playtime when I fell of the jungle gym and landed on the metal bar that would now be buried in bark or some other soft matting, not the case back in the 60's.

( My arm is fine now, thanks for asking!)

During those same school years I was  skinny little thing and was teased -often.

 By adults: "Don't turn sideways or you might disappear all together"

By my father:" Your legs look like matchsticks with all the wood scraped off."

By kids: "Storklegs!" 

And even now, all these years later, I can still hear those words like it was yesterday and feel the shame and humiliation that I wasn't "normal"

I am no longer that skinny, wee girl. I grew into a voluptuous woman and it took me a long time to get comfortable with the size I am now, a long time.

A few years back I was leaving a weight loss clinic that I had joined , briefly. I had lost a few kilos and was feeling great... until I walked out the door and as I crossed the road, feeling proud, a car full of youths drove past and yelled "Fatty" out the window.

Words hurt.. and they linger, long past the person who said them will even remember .


And the words that we say to ourselves are some of the most damaging and detrimental to our well being. We foolishly think that because we don't say them out loud, that because they are thoughts  they don't have as much impact.

The reality is that we have them playing in a constant , repetitive loop in our head where they eat away at our peace, our confidence, our very soul.

While we can develop strategies for dealing with toxic people and trolls ( read Leonie Dawson's blog on trolls here it is harder to silence the inner voice.

It can be done but it takes time.

My number one strategy for talking nicely to myself is to post pictures of myself as a toddler, child and preteen in prominent places.

Would I really want to say that to her? Is that the way that I want to speak to myself?

Um, no.

It also takes a gentle hand because, lets face it, beating our self up for beating our self up is a loop we don't want to get caught in. Constantly reminding yourself that you will try better next time and being  gentle with yourself works best. And just like alcoholics or drug addicts we have to take it one day at a time.

The media will constantly tell you a million different reasons that you should feel bad about yourself so we have to stay vigilant and tell that voice in our head to sit down and shut the f@#$ up!


What helps you silence your inner mean girl?                                          

For more positive self talk inspiration go grab yourself a copy of my latest book The Goddess Guide to Sex, Love and Lfe

Turning up the heat

We all want to be thought of as being good in bed.

We want to think that we leave our partner satisfied and happy and with thoughts of only us dancing around in their heads for hours afterwards.

We like to think that they will have a sly smile on their face the next day whenever thoughts of us drift across their mind, which will happen often because the sex we had was just that good.

The trouble is, as women, we keep looking outside of ourselves for that magic solution on how to drive a man crazy in bed or make ourselves desirable.

We think it comes down to the right boob size. It doesn't.

Or the right dress size. Again it doesn't, in fact I dare you to ask your partner your dress size. I bet he doesn't have a clue.

Or we think it comes down to how much we weigh. Nah - wrong again.

Or whether we have cellulite on our thighs, or stretch marks,  or whether we have the right hairstyle, or , or, or. Our list of things that could be wrong with us is long and we think if we just fix that  then men will want us, desire us.

Then we think is we just do this or that then he will keep coming back for more.

We forget that we are enough.

I just watched a promo for a new program this woman has created that will have men flocking to you, enable you to unlock their deepest desires and become their all time fantasy woman and it's yours for the small price of $47 USD but you better hurry because she should really sell it for $297. This program will have men adoring you and begging to be your man and while it wasn't sleazy it is still focused on him and all you can do to help drive him wild.

At the same time I got an email from another person that I follow telling you ways to make you feel more like a Goddess all of which I already knew and wrote about in my book "The Goddess Guide to Sex, Love and Life" .

I know which one I am more interested in... and I hope you are too.

Becoming our most vibrant, sexual, sensual selves will bring about the most amazing change in our sex lives while at the same time making us happy and content within ourselves, boosting our confidence and all while taking the best care of ourselves .

Nothing is more potent and alluring to men than a woman who is completely at home in her own body. A woman who revels in her sexuality and isn't scared of embodying her inner goddess is a woman who will be adored but more than that she will enable her man to open fully into his own expression of his sexuality.

This isn't just a theory that I hold it is what has happened in my own relationship. We are not some hot, young couple just starting out on our journey together. No, we are a middle aged couple who have been together for the past 22 years and our relationship hasn't always been this way.

Get your copy here

In fact it has only been in the past 8 years that things have really begun to get hotter and steamier, right when the media would have you believe everything should be heading in the opposite direction. It wasn't until I changed that things took a turn for the better. One day I decided that it was time for me to embrace who I truly am and start living as a full expression of my authentic self and so I declared myself to be a sex Goddess and with that everything shifted.

Since then I have been writing and talking about self love, sexuality and being a goddess. Most importantly I finally published my book  in which I give women tips and exercises to do to help them become their most sensual selves.

One of the most heart opening aspects of all this has been that my husband has been able to shed years of guilt, shame and fully open into the gorgeous, sexy, loving man that was buried beneath all of that old shit. And none of that came about because I was focusing on him like all the articles suggest you do. No, it came about because I opened up to myself, just like Marianne Williamson says in her famous poem " And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”


So where are you going to look? Outwards or inwards?

Equal rights for all

My husband has the flu at the moment.

Some people like to refer to this phenomenon as "man flu" meaning that when men get sick they are somehow sicker or weaker than women, who just carry on regardless of how ill they are.

Neither of these things is true.

When I am sick I like to take to my bed (hello bed, I love you). I like to be coddled and taken care of. Does this always happen? No. Would it be great if it did? Absolutely, but often I still have  shit to do.

When my husband is sick I have to cajole him into taking time off work and even then,he won't stay in bed and doesn't like me taking care of him -or as he calls it "making a fuss of him".

So can we just call "Bullshit" on the whole Man Flu thing?  And while we are at it let's get rid of a few other tropes that separate and segregate us.

Not all women like pink.

Not all men are tough and unemotional.

Not all women nag.

Not all men are handy men and can fix anything.

Not all women love shoes.

Not all men are useless at looking  after their kids.

Not all women are bitches.

Not all men are bastards.

If we want everyone to be equal then lets put the bullshit aside and realise that we are all just people.

 None of us are from Mars.

None of us are from Venus.

We are from a beautiful blue planet called Earth..

PS Congratulations to the US for finally making Gay Marriage legal. Or as the rest of us like to refer to it, marriage.

...and they lived happily, ever after

Even as adults we love a good fairy tale. Isn't that what every rom-com ever written is? A modern fairy tale written for adults?

Boy meets girl and for various reasons they can't be together but either she has fallen madly in love with him and must have him, or vice versa,but the story always ends with them deciding to be together. What we don't see is how they cope with the daily grind; the morning rush to get to work, the flat tyres and flat batteries,the school run and the sick kids, the laundry and the endless dishes.

No, we always leave them in the rosy glow of new love.

Yes, there have been the odd movies made about what comes next ( This is 40 is a great example)

but they are few and far between because daily life is not seen as sexy or desirable. We would rather stick with the fantasy of "happily ever after"

We have this idea that real love is effortless, that we shouldn't have to work at staying together. If we really  loved each other  then we wouldn't fight or get stressed about all the annoying little things our partner does.

Part of that is true - we have a choice as to which things we make a priority. I know that if I start focusing on the little things that my husband does that annoy me then before I know it they have become the BIG thing and I can't see anything else.

When I choose to focus on all the good things that he does - all those tiny, little things that we can overlook - then the annoying things become insignificant.

But it is a choice and we have to be aware that we are making it.

Choosing to stay together, regardless of the shit that happens, is the basis of real love. when we buy into the fantasy that real love is easy and effortless and requires no effort on our part then we walk away from all the great love that is right in front of us.

My husband and I have seven kids between us and (nearly) 13 grandkids. At present my 22 year old son is living at home after being over seas for the past two years. He is dealing with some health issues so home seems like a safe place to be, under Mum's tender care.

At the same time my father in law is also dealing with some health issues (he's 87). The house he lives in is  cold and it is the middle of a very cold winter. It is starting to look like now would be a good time for him to move in with family, but the question is who?

Meanwhile the grandkids are about to start the school holidays and some parents could do with a hand with childcare while they work.

When you add all of that together life can get pretty complicated and overwhelming. It really does take a village to raise a child. It also takes a village to care for the elderly and everyone in between.

And happily ever after happens when you choose to embrace all of this and more. When you stick it out through thick and thin and realise that all of that beautiful mess is life, your life. When you accept that your husband is going to leave the toilet seat up, or the lid off the toothpaste, or that he will squeeze it from the middle, or he will forget to take the rubbish out, or he will take it out and forget to put a new bin liner in. And you will piss him off too. You will yell for no discernible reason, or get emotional at the wrong moment like when he wants to watch the game and you want to talk about your feelings.

Accepting each other for who they are is the real basis of a long term, successful relationship. Not expecting them to be a knight in shining armor that saves your from life's drudgery because that drudgery is the very stuff of life and we don't get to escape it. Having someone by your side while you go through it together is true love.


So let's leave the " and they all lived happily ever after" where it belongs, in the realms of fantasy and fairy tales and start embracing all the messy, aspects of relationships and love.



For more information on relationships and sex, life and love check out my book

5 Morning Rituals for Self Love

How you start your day sets the tone for how your day will go. Every article you read on productivity or being happier says the same thing: have a morning and evening routine for they will set you up to live your best life.

It was with great delight that I came across this article by Mama Gena.   My favorite line? This one "It is my deep, hot, and holy conviction that the body of every woman is a living, breathing altar." Can I get an "Amen!" or at least a "Hallejuia!"

Taking care of ourselves before we launch ourselves into the day is vital for our sanity.

I can already hear the litany of "I don't have time. I'm already so busy I can't fit anything else into my day."  And that is exactly why you need to s-l-o-w down, BREATHE and look at tweaking some of your daily rituals so that they are more life affirming and self nurturing.

(1) Conscious Showering:

( Shhh I pinched the idea from Gwyneth Paltrow's conscious uncoupling LOL).

Okay so what do I mean by that?  Showering should be a sensuous experience not a hurried dash to get clean then leap out and get dressed. What I am suggesting is consciously connecting with each part of your body as you lather it up and telling it how much you love it and all it does for you. Stroking your body and loving it and acknowledging all that your body does for you lets all the trillions of cells in your body vibrate at the rate of love and acceptance.

(2) Mirror Work:

Louise Hay often talks about doing mirror work to help heal your body and what better time to do it than when you are washing your face and applying your make up? That's two birds with one stone right there.
Look yourself in the eye and say, out loud " I love you. You are beautiful, smart and fun to be around. I love you and I am grateful for you."
Yes it feels weird at first. Yes it gets easier and yes it is worth it.

(3) Post affirmations everywhere:

Write them in lipstick on your mirror. Put post it notes with affirmations on the outside of your glass shower  so you can read them while showering. Put them on the dashboard of your car. Set up a reminder on your phone with your favorite affirmation. Change your password to an affirmation that you are working with - see if you notice any difference after a week, a month or two.

Affirmations  are powerful statements that are written in the present tense to help us change the negative self talk that often goes on in our minds. Sometimes we struggle to use the present tense as our minds remind us that this is not a reality yet. This is when the phrase "I am in the process of..." comes in very handy. This lets the mind relax and still helps you to work on changing the old pattern.

(4) Eat breakfast:

Or drink it ( smoothie anyone?) Just make sure that you start your day with some healthy food in your tummy.

This is one of those things that we often skip because we are in too much of a rush to get out the door. And it is also one of the most important things that we can do for ourselves. Smoothies are a godsend if you are short of time as they are so quick to whip up and can be absolutely packed with goodies. Adding superfoods like chia seed, kale, cinnamon and turmeric gives you a hit of antioxidants and anti inflammatories while tasting good at the same time.

(5) Morning Pages:

This one is not for those who are racing to get the kids to school on time or to hit the office by 9 am -unless you are super organised and get up really early, in which case I salute you!

Morning pages is a practice that I have recently added to my life and I love it! Julia Cameron's book "The Artist's Way" uses the practice of writing three pages each day to help uncover your creative self but it is much more than that. Writing three pages each day is like clearing out your mind chatter and dumping it all on paper. Some days you wonder where all that stuff came from and other  days you can't thin what to write at all but the simple act of sitting down to write three pages or simply writing "I don't know what to write", until something floats to the surface, is cathartic and a great tool for self love.


What are you morning rituals? How do you start your day?

Come over to my facebook page and join in the conversation.

Unplugging to reconnect

I try ( note I said "try" ) and have one day a week that I completely unplug - no phone, no television, no computer. At  heart I am a complete recluse, introvert - while still loving to connect and keep up to date with technology.

Yes, I am nothing if not a contradiction in terms.

I have been reading Jennifer Louden's book "The Woman's Retreat Book - A Guide to Restoring, Rediscovering,and Reawakening Your True Self - in a moment, an hour, a day or a weekend" and I am quietly planning my escape.

Not that I have anything to escape from. My life is fairly idyllic already: I live on three acres, with numerous fruit trees, patches of native bush, a small pond, free range chickens and various other wildlife. I work from home, writing blogs and working on books and various other projects at my own speed. I have a husband that adores me as I adore him ( minus the odd disagreement - we are, after all, human).

In fact, my place is the kind of place that Jennifer talks about woman retreating to so why am I plotting my escape?

Being a mother, a wife, a partner, a friend means that we naturally, give of ourselves to those that ask something of us. That we tune into the needs of others without stopping to think "what is it that I want? What feeds me?"

So I am planning my escape - and by that I mean I am staying right where I am but incorporating retreat activities into my day - a mini retreat if you will. I am planning on being more mindful for one whole day, from the minute I wake up until the minute I go to bed. I will unplug completely for one whole day.

I will not distract myself with smartphones, facebook updates, emails or any of the other daily distractions we use to stop ourselves from being present to ourselves.

You might be asking yourself  "So what are you going to do?"

And that is the thing isn't it? We get so busy do -ing that be-ing seems wrong somehow, like we are wasting our time. Do you remember when you were a kid watching the clouds drift across the sky? Or looking out the window for hours just dreaming? We need to find ( and give ourselves permission) to just be.

No agenda, no rush to get the next thing done, just sitting enjoying the quiet and listening to your own thoughts.

What will I actually be doing on my mini retreat? I will set my intention for what I want to focus on. Then I will create an opening ceremony using whatever aspects I choose: maybe start with few sun salutations, followed by some smudging and morning pages (Thanks to Julia Cameron and The Artist's Way for this one). Then it will be time for breakfast and maybe a sit in the sun (if it is shining) and from there we will let the day unfold as it will.

And then I will hold a Goddess Gathering  at my home to help women take the time for their own retreat.


Sign up for my newsletter to find out some tips for having your own mini retreat.

Energy Revamps

Yesterday my husband and I had an argument - nothing savage, just a miscommunication that led to frayed nerves, tension and a general feeling of "BLAH" throughout the house.

Since I practice what I preach I woke up this morning and set about shifting that "Yuck -ness" out of the house, out of the bed, out as far as I could shift it.

\

 

Actually, to be honest, I started last night. I grabbed my journal and wrote it all out. Not the who said what but all the feelings and issues that had been raised. Three pages later and I felt much better and calmer. Then I decided to run a bath, a great purifying ritual if ever there was one. In went the Epsom salt and the essential oils and then in went me  for a good twenty minute soak.

Then I took myself off to do some self reiki and a good nights sleep = BLISS.

Once I got up I decided the house needed a good cleanse so out came my white sage bundle and I smudged everything, including myself. The house now smells divine and the energy feels much clearer.

Out came the Inner Domestic Goddess and everything got a good once over- vacuumed, dusted, wiped and spritzed. Then it was time to strip the bed and get that refreshed as well. Sheets and blankets are now out on the line getting some fresh air drying so my bed will smell DIVINE tonight.

And through all of that I have been listening to my favorite music - LOUD!

Shifting the vibration of your house is vital to keeping your energy high. I like to move my furniture around from time to time too. This helps the energy from stagnating. So does opening all the windows and letting in lots of fresh air - not always easy in the middle of winter but worth it on the days that you can.

It isn't until you have cleansed and shifted the energy in your home that you realize just how "icky" it was before.

How do you shift the energy in your home? What techniques have you used and what differences have you noticed?

Loving yourself whole

The way I see it we have only one choice - we have to love ourselves

All of our selves.

The flawed, quirky parts of us.

The wounded parts of us.

The parts of us that were wounded when we were little. ( Yes, I mean our Inner Child)

The parts of us that didn't quite fit in when were teenagers. (More Inner Teenager than Inner child)

The parts of us that were damaged from the relationship break ups.

The parts of us that don't have a f@+%ing clue what we are doing with our lives even though we are now (fill in the blank) age and should have our shit together.

The parts of us that are changeable and fluid and bend which ever way the wind is blowing, or when some new inspiration hits. "I'm going to become a writer.... no, I'm going to move to the South Island, no, I'm going to dye my hair green, no wait....I'm going to"

The parts of us that are so deep and dark and scary that we hide them... even from ourselves.

The parts of us that just want to crawl under the covers and come out when the world is nicer.

We need to love ourselves back to wholeness, back to happy, back to abundance, back to our natural loving, open armed, open hearted selves.

The eternal question is how?

How do we love all of that messy, dark , wounded parts of us?

By admitting that it is there.

By taking ownership of it.

"Yes, I am flawed. Yes, I do get angry and fly off the handle far too easily. Yes, I have been hurt. Yes. Yes.Yes. This is me in all my flawed beauty"

By acknowledging, to yourself, all that you have been through and learning the lessons from them.

By accepting that this is who you are - without judging or feeling sorry for yourself .

Because if we can accept and love our friends when they are being jerks then surely we can love ourselves too.

If we can love our partner/husband/wife/lover when they just made a dick of themselves, not to mention all their irritating little habits then surely we can love ourselves too.

If we can love our children when they poop on us or vomit on us or (when they are older) when they make silly mistakes then surely we can love ourselves too.

We all make mistakes, we all screw up the trick is to love ourselves through all of it. We do it for everyone else maybe it's time we did it for ourselves too.



Want more of this? Check out my book "The Goddess Guide to Sex, Love and Life"