10 Commandments for Self Love

In the bible ( Mark 12:31 in case you are interested) it states:  You shall love thy neighbor as thyself. The trouble is we have been taught that the important part of that quote is "Love thy neighbor" when in reality the most important ( so important I am using bold and italics) part is "as thy self"

Yup, it's right there in the bible ( so it must be (a) true and (b) important) that we are supposed to love ourselves. The trouble is we weren't raised to love ourselves. That was frowned upon as selfish and greedy and vain. We weren't important . Other people were and we should shower them with love and affection and well, everything.

Well I say a very profound "Fuck that" to that idea. Because we cannot truly, fully and completely give something that we do not have. we have to fill ourselves up with love first so that the overflowing love we have for ourselves, flows out to others and saturates the whole world ( love that imagery. Sure it may be a bit cheesy but go with it anyway)

So let's dive right in to the new commandments shall we? 

10 Commandments for Self Love 

(1) Be Kind. Be kind to yourself first and foremost. Too often we berate ourselves "Why are you so stupid? That was pathetic. what a loser " Stop it.

(2) Be Still.  Nap when you need to. Meditate. Especially when you don't have time. Make time, don't try and find it. Just declare: this time is for meditating and make it so. Do it daily. For five minutes or thirty or an hour. Just do it.

(3) Be Active. Take a walk. Dance. Hit the gym. Swim. Just move. Find a way that you love and keep doing it.

 (4) Be generous. Buy yourself that book you've been wanting. Give yourself a gift on Mother's day, Valentine's Day, your birthday and Xmas. You deserve it. Take yourself out for lunch, you don't need to wait for someone else to take you. Buy yourself flowers.

(5) Be Committed. Honor the promises you make to yourself the same way you would making a promise to someone else. You wouldn't let them down so don't let yourself down either.

(6) Be Grateful. Write a list of all that you are grateful for each day. Do a minimum of five. The more you give appreciation for the things already in your life, the more good things you will notice and the more will show up.

(7) Be Loving. Every day look yourself in the eyes and tell yourself how much you love you. EVERY. Day.
We tell our friends, family and lovers how much we love them ( you do, right?) so make it part of your daily routine to say it to yourself.

(8) Be Strong. Learn to say "No". No is a complete sentence, it requires no explanations, no excuses. "Do you want to come to the party?' "No". Set clear boundaries of what is and isn't acceptable to you and then stand firm.

(9) Be your own cheerleader.  "Good job. Well done. That was amazing." Take time to acknowledge when you have done something to be proud of ( like writing an awesome blog post! Good job Caitlin *pats self on back* ). Validate yourself, don't wait for someone else to say it. Do the Happy Dance when you finish something. ( don't know how? Just dance and be happy)

(10) Be your own BFF.  Having a bad day? What would your best friend suggest? Go do that . You are the only person you will be friends with for your whole life so check in with yourself and be your own best friend.



As an added bonus for reading this far here's a couple more for you:

(11) Use glitter. It's hard to be down when there is glitter involved. Don't feel like vacuuming the floor? Add a dash of glitter and your whole house is instantly transformed into a magical place of wonder and delight. Try it if you don't believe me. Because frankly, life is too short to worry about housework!

(12) Wear your tiara. Real or imagined, life is pretty damn fun in a tiara

Right, that's me off to sprinkle glitter, put on my tiara and deal with the rest of my day . Oh and make sure to pop over to to sign up for my newsletter to receive your cope of the FREE A Goddess's Daily Ritual for Self Love  

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The Power of Reiki

For a long time, even before I became attuned to Reiki, my husband told me he loved the energy from my hands.

 Not just him either.

There was the time in a shuttle bus from Coffs Harbor to the airport in when a fellow passenger had an injured leg and I suggested that she rested it on my seat and i placed my hand on it during the trip. When we got to our destination she thanked me and said her leg felt much better now.

Then I did Level one, two and three in Reiki training. Mostly I used it on myself and my husband. Occasionally I would send it to my cat while she was on my lap, apparently cats love reiki!

I sent ti to my auntie after her surgery and she credited it with healing her up faster than the surgeon was expecting.

Often when I am sending reiki energy it feels like precisely nothing is taking place; my mind wanders, the client falls asleep but nothing profound or earth shattering takes place.

 Sometimes my hands get warm, sometimes they get cold.

Sometimes I can feel a tingle through my hands and then it stops and I move to the next hand position and it starts up again...... and sometimes it doesn't.

Sometimes I "see" lots of colours or Angels or I "know"that certain beings or relatives are close by....... and other times I don't.

Most of the time clients fall asleep, however briefly, on that table. Sometimes they get leg twitches and tummy rumbles.

They always say how much more relaxed they feel at the end of a session. Who wouldn't after an hour of lying down doing precisely nothing?

But recently I have been sending reiki to my mother in law. She is 85 years old and has been in hospital for the past three weeks and nobody expects her to be coming home any time soon.... if at all.

She has been on  a steady downward slide for the past few years and now it seems to have picked up the pace.

A few weeks back when she was in hospital, I decided to give my husband some reiki and, at the same time, send some to his Mum. I have had some amazing reiki sessions with my husband, the outpouring of love between us has been incredibly mindblowing and the effect has lasted for days, sometimes weeks, but again, it doesn't happen every time.

Part way through our session I started feeling really strange...... couldn't -stand- up -any -longer- need-to-lie -down-right-now-strange. So I told hubby and went to lie down in the same room and continue sending him distance reiki. Straight away I get the voice in my head going "stroke, stroke, stroke" and I think "uh oh, this isn't good" ( now don't get me wrong, I don't hear voices all the time either ). By this time I am ready to go full on into nap time and hope that I don't wake up paralysed down one side. ( no, I didn't say anything to hubby). when I woke up from my nap ( it was lovely, thanks for asking) I cautiously tested my whole body, yup everything working fine, whew, don't know what that was all about and carried on with my day.

Two hours later we got the call.

Rob's mum had had a stroke. At this point a light-bulb went on over my head as I realised that this probably took place while I was sending her reiki which is why I felt so weird.

Since then I have continued to send her reiki both remotely and while we have been to see her. while all the other brothers and sisters have said that she seems agitated and distressed when they visit her, our visits have been peaceful and she has looked calm and restful  - no panic attacks, no apnea just sleeping with moments of awareness and recognition.

Can I say for sure that it is the reiki? No.

Do I know in my heart that the reiki is helping her? Absolutely!

On one of our recent visits, while sending her reiki I "saw" her surrounded by angels and the most powerful wave of loving energy came across me that it was hard not to cry. On this visit I also "saw" a big, fluffy dog - there one minute, gone the next. I asked hubby if they had ever had a big dog and he said "no" and I got the name "Sasha"in my head at the same time he said "oh hang on a minute , Mum had a dog called Astra. She went everywhere with Mum." I said "well she is here now"

Yesterday we went for another visit with some of hubby's daughters ( he's got 4) and we all took turns holding her hand and chatting with her as she drifted in and out. At one stage I switched places with one of the girls and slipped my hand in hers at which point she opened her eyes and said "I knew it was you, such a lovely energy" Yup, I had started sending the energy as soon as our hands connected.

Reiki works.

Even when it's not working, it's working.

Even when it seems like nothing is happening or I'm not focusing, it's working.


The more I practise ; on my self, on my husband, on clients, remotely or in person, the better it gets, the deeper it goes, the stronger the connections.

We are all energy and we are all connected. Always.




 If you need some nurturing self care  check out the Self Love Club   and Join Today!

99 Things I LOVE!

Sandi over at Deva Coaching wrote a list of 99 things that she loves inspired by Judy Lee Dunn so since I love a challenge I decided to do it too.

What about you can you list 99 things that you love?                        

1. (1)    The smell of fresh laundry
   (2)    The sound of babies giggling
   (3)    The smell of rain on sun warmed tiles
   (4)    Roses
   (5)    Fluffy new born chickens
   (6)    Holding hands with my darling
   (7)    Texts from my honey
   (8)    Hearing the sound of my darlings voice when we are apart
   (9)    Snuggling in front of the fire
   (10)Curling up with a good book
   (11)The sound of rain on the roof when you are cosy in bed
   (12)Slipping between clean sheets
   (13)The feel of my bed after a long day
   (14)Soaking in a hot bath
   (15)The taste of fruit picked fresh from the tree and still warm
   (16)The first sip of hot water and lemon in the morning
   (17)Walking through my front door after being away
   (18)The sight of the sea when you have driven a long way to see it
   (19)The first sight of the mountains
   (20) The sound of the tui caling in the morning
   (21)The sound of the tui last thing at night
   (22)Clothes blowing on the line
   (23)The feel of the house after a good spring clean
   (24)Walking barefoot in the grass in the morning dew
   
   
   (25)Walking barefoot on the sand
   (26)The sound of the wind blowing through the trees
   (27)The smell of new books
   (28)Stationary – pens, notebooks, pencils
   (29)Finding money in a coat pocket you haven’t worn for ages
   (30)The smell of a chocolate bar when you first open it
   (31)Chocolate slowly dissolving on your tongue

   

   Spending time with my Grandy's

   (32)The sound of the minions laughing
   (33)Spending the afternoon watching good movies while eating popcorn
   (34)Quotes
   (35)Poetry
   (36)Music by Leonard Cohen
   (37)Chanting mantras
   (38)The smell of citrus blossom
   (39)Seeing someone you love’s face light up when they see you
   (40)Feeling your heart softening and opening when you see you lover
   (41)Long hugs
   (42)Deep kisses
   (43)Re reading a favourite book and discovering new depths to it
   (44)Bookshelves crammed with all my favourite books
   (45)Lazy mornings spent in bed talking with my darling
   (46)Staying in the bath talking until the water gets cold
   (47)Revisiting favourite haunts
   (48)Connecting with my kids via Skype
   (49)Reiki sessions that give new insight into isuse
   (50)Crying at  movies
   (51)Watching reruns of Absolutely Fabulous
   (52)Watching reruns of Friends – even though I know most of the words
   (53)Singing along to songs on the radio – loudly
   (54)Dancing
   (55)Reading stories that move me to tears
   (56)Getting parcels in the mail
   (57)Ordering things online so I get parcels in the mail
   (58)Going for coffee with friends and losing track of time
   (59)Meeting someone for the first time and realising you have a lot in common
   (60)Looking at old photos
   (61)The smell of a fire on a cold night
   (62)Campfires  anytime
   (63)Sitting outside and watching the sunset
   (64)Talking about life with my darling
   (65)Lying in the grass watching the clouds
   (66)The first sip of good wine
   (67)Hot chocolate with marshmallows on a cold day
   (68)The sound of thunder on a summer’s day
   (69)Watching lightning flash across the night sky
   (70)The feel of a baby’s skin
   (71)The smell of a new born baby
   (72)The feel of a warm fresh laid egg
   (73)The taste of raw milk
   (74)The smell of the sea air
   (75)Waking up from a full nights sleep
   (76)The smell of pine trees
   (77)Laughing so loud you make the pig noise
   (78)Laughing so hard you can’t breathe
   (79)Sneezing so loud it echoes
   (80)Road trips
   (81)Hugs from my grandchildren
   (82)The smell of clothes when you iron them
   (83)The feel of my hair when it is freshly washed
   (84)The feel of coconut oil sliding over my skin
   (85)Waking to the sound of our rooster crowing
   (86)The smell of new leather shoes
   (87)Memories
   (88)All my rings and trying to decide which ones to wear

   

   Fresh fruit from our trees

   (89)Finding a new ring that fits     
   (90) When the words flow and I have a good day writing
   (91) When a cool breeze blows on a hot sticky day
   (92) Ice cream melting in my mouth
   (93) Picking fruit off our trees
   (94) Watering the garden
   (95) the smell of my favorite incense
   (96) The feel of my darling snuggled into my back in bed
   (97) the sound of my darling breathing in the bed next to me when I wake in the night
   (98) Watching the hawks soar in the thermal updraft
   (99) Green smoothies
   
   
   
   
   Bonus:
   (100)Making and drinking Kombucha
   (101Fermenting foods in general
   (102)Sex – long, slow, mindblowing sex with my darling
   
   
   
   
   PS this was only supposed to take ten minutes but (a) I don't type that fast and (b) some of them I really had to think about how I wanted to phrase them
   
   
   If you want to start loving yourself more check out my new Self Love Club here