Sunday, December 28, 2014

Goodbye 2014, Hello 2015!





At this time of year we are already looking ahead to the coming year. We are thinking of our goals and resolutions and what it is we most want to achieve which is a worthwhile pursuit.

But before we go rushing into the new year how about we pause and do a quick review of the past year? It is always a good idea to reflect on what worked and what didn't.

Here's some questions to help you out:


(1) What are you most proud of in the past year? What did you achieve?

 Hopefully you wrote out your goals for 2014 at the beginning of the year so you can review which ones you achieved ( You did write them down, didn't you?)
Take some time to really savor your successes. Often we get so caught up in the rush to start the next project that we forget to truly relish the present success. Write down everything that went well and then celebrate them: buy yourself a reward, share your joy with a friend, give yourself a pat on the back.


(2) What didn't work out for you?

Celebrating our successes is important, at the same time it is important to look at what didn't work.

"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.”
― Thomas A. Edison
Reviewing what didn't work so well gives you the chance to tweak it, alter it and have another go, or ditch the idea altogether and try something new. Either way give thanks for the opportunity to grow.

(3)  What are you grateful for?

In what ways did you grow? Where did you push yourself? What were some of the special moments that took your breath away? Give thanks for all of that. Hopefully you are already practicing gratitude daily in your gratitude journal. If not make that an intention for the new year.

(4) What do you need to let go of? 

Did you have an argument with someone this year that you keep going over in your head? Time to let it go.

Or are there situations from even further back that you keep mulling over? Let that go too.

How about clutter? Old files, magazines, things you have been meaning to get around to but still haven't? All that stuff weighs you down so now is the time to sot it out and LET IT GO!

While we are on the subject of letting things go here's some tips on how to do just that:

(1) Clutter:

First let's define clutter: clutter is anything that is lying around that is no longer operational or useful. If you haven't touched it in the past six months chances are high you won't in the next six months either so ditch it.

If you are holding onto to it because it may come in handy some day, check your calendar. Some day is not a day of the week - out it goes!

Ladies, this applies to clothes in your wardrobe too! If you haven't worn it or are waiting until you can fit it again, you know, when you lose those last 5 pounds? Yup time to ditch them.

If you struggle with letting stuff go then set up a bag system; one for charity shops - this is for stuff you are ready to let go of and the next one is for things that you just can't bear to part with but know you need to. After all your clutter clearing seal up the bag with things that you can't let go of, put it in the garage and if after 6 months you haven't opened it to get something out of  - ditch it. WITHOUT REOPENING IT!

(2) Old arguments:

Sometimes we just wish we had said that one killer line that would have stopped the other person dead in their tracks. Or we feel like we just didn't really get to tell them just how we felt . Or, or, or...... the tape in our heads seems to be stuck on a constant replay loop. It might go quiet for a while and then one night we won't be able to sleep and off it goes again.

We don't want to drag all that baggage into the coming year but how do we, finally, let it go and move past it?

There are two ways that work really well and neither of them involve confronting the other person (hooray!)
(a) The first method involves writing it all down. Pouring out all those great one liners and comebacks that you have had stored up in your brain. Pour it all out onto paper. Tell them exactly how you felt, how you feel, what an arsehole they are. Everything you never got to say. Then burn it. In fact you may need to do this a couple of times. And, man, it feels good to vent, to finally get it all off your chest.
You can make the burning of it into a ceremony, with candles and silent prayer and calling on the angels ( Archangel Micheal is great for cutting cords between you and the other party) or you can just chuck it on the fire.Whatever works for you, do that.
You should feel a sense of lightness, like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders, when you finish. If you find the tape playing again go through the whole procedure once more - chances are you hadn't quite got it all out.

(b) The next method involves EFT or tapping. The points are marked on the chart below. Start on the karate chop point and say "Even though I had this argument and I can't get it out of my head, I still deeply and completely love, accept and forgive myself. Even though this happened ages ago and I don't see how this tapping will work I still deeply and completely love accept and forgive myself." Then tap through the rest of the points  saying things like this : I'm still so angry. Every time I think of it or I see... I feel so angry. I'm just so hurt. All this hurt and anger. I'm ready to let it go now. No,I'm not. Yes, I am. I need to let this go. ( Deep breath) But I'm still so hurt. I can choose to let this go.




Keep going saying whatever you need to say until you feel a shift and a lightness inside. Then think of the situation again  and if it doesn't kick off the old tape again you have successfully cleared the memory of its toxic charge.


Right, are you ready to embrace the new year now?

(1) Set your intention

Kick off the new year by setting an intention for the year. What do you intend to create, manifest and produce in the coming year?
To me intention has a more tangible feel to it than a goal. In sports a goal is something that you aim for but don't necessarily hit.

An intention is something that you plan for, that has a purpose and an objective.

The most important part of your intention is to write them down. " I intend to..." They say that the only difference between a billionaire and a millionaire is that the millionaire writes down their goal (intentions) daily and the billionaires do it twice a day.

Write them down, read them over and over. Take action

(2) Pick a theme for your year

Last year my theme for the year was "SELF LOVE" and it is likely that that will be my theme again this year. This covers not only the work that I will be doing on myself but also my main focus for my business.
Having a theme gives your intentions a framework: Is my intention to spend more time with my family in keeping with my theme of self love? If not rework your intention.

You could even go so far as to have a theme song for the year. Every time you hear it, it will refocus you on your core intention for your year. Or you can set up a playlist to keep you motivated every day.

(3) Create a vision board

Gather together images of what you want to create in the new year. How do you want to feel? What is your year going to look like? Some people like to cut pictures out of magazines but I prefer drawing my own images and coming up with my own words . In my opinion it connects me deeper to my subconscious mind and my true heart's desires. And I'd rather have an image that sings to me than try to fit my dream into some image from a magazine. But if the magazine thing works for you then go to it!

The main idea is that it is colorful and inspiring. Now you need to put it somewhere that you will see it daily like inside your wardrobe on on the outside of your glass shower or beside your bed.

(4) Gratitude Journal

I love stationery so I already have my new gratitude journal just sitting waiting for the start of the new year. I will take some time to read through the entries from the past year to remind myself just how far I have come. If you haven't started keeping a gratitude journal make 2015 the year you start. Each day write down a minimum of 5 things that you are grateful for. If you want to truly get the most out of it then add why you are grateful for those things too.
Drilling down into the "why" stops it from being a rote list of banal things into a powerful tool for transformation. You really start to see the wonder in your life and stop taking things for granted, something we are all guilty of in the West.


I'm excited to see what the new year has in store. To keep up to date with all the new programs I will be launching in 2015 fill in the form below to join my mailing list.
Happy New Year!

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Friday, December 19, 2014

I have permission to....

Hands up if you have high expectations!


Yeah me too. Not only do I have high expectations of others, I have high expectations of my self.

I expect my friends to be loyal, to respect my time (like I respect theirs) and not be late when we make arrangements. I expect them to talk to me and not gaze at their cell phones every five minutes. I expect them to be there for me like I am for them. It doesn't seem like a lot to ask... but sometimes it is.


At this time of year we also have high expectations for family gatherings. We all want the picture perfect family gathering; happy families, gorgeous food, lots of presents - we see it on every sit com and television show . Sure there might be a little family upset but nothing that cannot be resolved in a half hour time slot or a one hour movie. ( Unless it is August Osage County - love that movie. So much more realistic)

The reality is much more like slow burning resentments, crappy presents and people who barely tolerate each other ( or is that just my family???? (Family of origin not my kids who are AWESOME))

But here's the thing you have permission to do things your own way, to not go to family functions unless you actually want to.

In 2012 I wanted to have all my family together just in case the world ended  because my youngest would be heading off overseas the following year and it would be the last opportunity for all of us to gather in one place ( we have seven kids between us so it's not easy to organize). But here's the thing, one by one, for lots of different reasons, the kids canceled. Sure, I was disappointed but if they didn't want to be here I wasn't about to force them or manipulate them or guilt them into coming.


Recently my nine year old granddaughter came to stay for two and a half weeks. I have 11 grandchildren altogether and they all live far away so I get to be the grandma that drops in for flying visits or sends parcels in the mail. Not the Grandma who bakes. Not the Grandma who has the kids for sleepovers. Not the Grandma who goes to school plays.

And to be honest I don't want to be that Grandma. I like swooping in and swooping out. I like hunting for just the right gift ( okay this is getting harder as they get older and I refuse to just give money!). And most of all I like time to myself. Lots of time to myself. Lots and lots.

So I have my granddaughter staying and the weather is crap and I have a long list of "Shoulds" going on in my head..... a long long list.


So I take a deep breath and let it go and with it all my expectations of how this "should" be and how I "should" be. Because the reality is this is me and I have permission to be my most awesome self.

I have permission to be the kind of Grandma that I am ..... rather than squash myself into to some Grandma shaped mold.

I have permission to not want to do crafts...... because I suck at them.


I have permission to put movies on for her to watch so I can catch up on my writing... because I'm a write and I need to get that shit down on paper ( well, computer screen)

I have permission to be me.

My question you is where are you not giving yourself permission to be you?

Where are you compromising to the point that you don't feel like yourself any more?

Where have you bent so far that you feel like you are going to break?

The Ultimate gift you can give yourself this Christmas is permission to be authentically yourself, to say "No", to "yes" if that's what floats your boat, to be unapologetically YOU!.

This is it. Your Permission Slip. Go be awesome.


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Monday, December 15, 2014

Reasons to believe that the world is a good place

At times it can feel like the world is falling apart.

We hear stories of war, terrorism, bloodshed, murder and mayhem on a daily basis and it feels like there is no good left in the world.


Sadly the media has a "if it bleeds, it leads" mentality and so all the crap that we do to each other is what makes the headlines which leads to a very sordid, sad and depressing view of the world.

The reality is that the wold is full of miracles. Everyday there are people going out of there way to make this world we live in a better place. We've just been looking in the wrong places trying to find it. And if we want to believe in the world being a good place filled with loving kind people then we need to focus more on that and less on the other.

In the Law of attraction it is stated that what you focus on expands so if you want a peaceful loving world then you need to focus on seeing a peaceful loving world around you. Not just at Christmas but all year round and as Ghandi says  " Be the change you want to see in the world". That means YOU need to be more peaceful, loving and kind on a daily basis.

(1) #Illridewithyou

On Monday hostages were taken in a Sydney cafe by a man. He had them hold up a flag in the window with Muslim writing on it. The media went into a frenzy that this was terrorism and was Islamist. At the same time a couple of people on twitter started the hashtag #Illridewithyou to reach out to the Muslim community in Sydney to show them that they were not willing to lump them all under the same banner and that they would be willing to stand up and support them against racism or abuse from fellow Australians who were perhaps, not so enlightened See some of the tweets here

(2)  Secret Santa

In America tensions between the public and  the police have been at an all time high due to various court rulings on police killing innocent black men ( I won't list them here but I do believe #blacklivesmatter)

A wealthy businessman in America has made it a practice each year to give away money at Christmas time. This year he enlisted the local police force to help him to do his part in restoring some faith in cops and help out the deserving at the same  time.

(3) Random Acts of Kindness

People doing random acts of kindness for no other reason than because they can. One woman paid off  the lay away tabs for a whole store. Or all the people that sent Christmas cards to a dying girl. Or the woman who paid for coffee for the person behind her and everyone continued it for the rest of the day.

Random acts of kindness can be big or small but the impact and feel good vibes they leave behind linger for a long, long time. In fact studies have been done that show that just witnessing a random act of kindness makes people feel happier and floods their bodies with feel good hormones.

Want to flood yourself with even more goodness? Here's some stories from Random act of Kindness Week in February of this year.

Want more random acts of kindness? Go here for another ten stories to warm your heart.

(4) All the parents who are doing an AWESOME job of raising their kids

In this age of technology it is now easier than ever to capture ( and share) those moments when you get parenting right ( and let's face it sometimes it feels like you never do!) These parents (and many others) are doing an epic job.

Check out this blog and this one from Hands Free Mama

Shaping young lives is a full time job. Holding space for them to figure out who they are and who they want to be takes patience, love and patience ( yup lots and lots, that's why I wrote it twice) and is THE MOST IMPORTANT job in the world and yet we barely acknowledge it.

And when we look at the world through the eyes of our children we see that it is still full of magic and wonder. Let's not lose that.

How are you making the world a beautiful place today? What random act of kindness can you do to shape the world we live in tomorrow?