Sacred sexual Soul Healing

Get comfy this could be a long post so go grab yourself a cuppa - I'll wait.


Right, let's talk about sex and the energy that gets exchanged during it and where that all ends up.

We all know that we are energetic, light beings - well I'm just going to go ahead and see you nodding your head to that and assume you agree. And sex is one of the ways that we connect with others on an energetic level. In fact it is the only way that we merge our energy body completely with another. When we engage in a sexual act our chakras all align ( well , there are probably lots of positions where this is not entirely true and it would take too long to list all of them so let's just assume (again) that most sex acts line our chakras up or that this will happen at some point during most sexual encounters). Not only do they align but energy is transferred and a residue of that is left behind at the end of that encounter.

Now just pause for a moment and think of all the sexual encounters you have had to date. Yup, go all the way back to the very first fumblings when you were first exploring your sexuality. Yes, even those times when you were all on your own and playing around.

But their was no one else involved then so why are we including that?

Ahh, well you see there was probably an element of fear or shame or " Oh my God if someone found me they would be so shocked/disgusted/horrified. I must be a bad person. Maybe I'm a pervert?" type of anxiety and yes, all of that gets lodged in there as well.

Now, you might be wondering where exactly this all gets stored in your body and the answer is primarily, in your genitals and if you are female, also in your womb, for men that is the hara or lower dan tien.

But that is not the only way that we store energy in our body, oh no. It also gets stored through negative or emotionally charged events. In fact in her book Vagina, Naomi Wolf talks about how women become emotionally shut down and numbed due to  cat calling, name calling, off colour, misogynistic jokes and the list goes on. And no, it is not just that we are more emotionally sensitive it is that directly impacts our pudendal nerve, an intricate network of nerves that connect every part of our genitals to our brain.

Just pause for a moment ladies and think of how many times a day you get the message that some part of your body is not acceptable. Here's a few to get you started

•  every time we see an ad suggesting we shave our vulva
• every time we see a tampon commercial with that blue dye because our real blood would be too gross
• every picture of an airbrushed model with skin smoothed to perfection

Or how about the songs talking about bitches and "ho's"?  Or the times you have been called a skank, slut, bitch, whore or some other derogatory name? Or the fact that calling someone a "pussy" is an insult? Or how about the word "cunt" being an insult? The male equivalent of "dick", which is the only time male genitals are used in an insulting way, just doesn't have the same punch to it.

And let's not forget the leering, overly friendly , groping we also put up with - maybe not daily but often enough to make us feel uncomfortable.

I also know that you men suffer insults and threats to your manhood that can make you toughen up, shut down and close off. Endless fears the you will be considered "gay" when you were in your teens. Or worse if you were gay and terrified that someone would "out" you. Taunts of being a wimp, a pussy, a girl for not being tough enough or masculine enough ( whatever the hell that means).

And who can forget the impact that religion has on our sexuality ( actually I did and had to dd this paragraph in later. Ooops!) . Raised as a good catholic girl the strictures around sex are strong and can take a lifetime to break but it's not just the Catholics - all religions want to have soem say in how you express yourself sexually.

All of those experiences impact us at the  lower three chakras; solar plexus -self esteem, sacral - our sexuality and sensuous nature and the base chakra - our sense of belonging to the tribe. They leave a residue of "not good enough", a taint of shame, a blush of "not worthy" and all those emotions leave us feeling unclean, dirty, disconnected from our most sensual selves. They impair our enjoyment in life . Not to mention our reveling in the pleasure of our sexual nature.

If you have read this far I am guessing that you are wondering just how you can clear out all this nasty crap? How do we clear our sexual past from our wombs and genitals? How do we clear the emotional baggage from our past relationships?

There are a few ways :

• Counselling
• EFT or tapping - tapping on specific meridian points while repeating phrases associated with your emotional intensity
• Joining my SSSH! Sacred Sexual Soul Healing group for an energetic tune up weekly.

Energetic healing is a (relatively) new form of healing. Well, that is to say it is becoming more readily recognised as a form of healing. Hands on healing and Reiki have been around for years. Master Usui, who  developed Reiki, had a distant healing symbol in amongst his arsenal. Reiki can be sent anywhere, across all time, space and dimensions.

Now you might be asking yourself what that has to do with sexual healing? Simple - by sending Reiki to all the members of the group as an energetic detox we can shift, clear and let go of a butt load ( no pun intended) of huge crappola and the utmost, super fabulosity of all this that as the group grows so does the energy and , you guessed it, the clearing and releasing does massive uplevel as well. All of this takes place while you are going about your business.

No regurgitating your story to whoever will listen.

No weeping, wailing and gnashing of teeth.

Now, you do have to do your part by getting clear on what you want to release, being open to the energy flow and taking care of yourself through the process. What that looks like is (1) drinking loads of water to clear out your energy system (2) having an Epsom Salt bath to assist the electrical shifting that occurs and (3) be open to noticing the coincidences and synchronicities that abound in your life.

Sounds awesome, right?

If you want to find out more go check out my website but only do it if you really want to change your life.

Rewilding Yourself

Years ago we brought home some ex- battery farm chickens. These chickens had never known anything other than being confined so it was amazing to watch them come to terms with being outside for the first time. In fact two of them didn’t even know how to get out of the box while the other one leapt straight out. It took them a while to learn how to scratch in the dirt and my husband became their human rooster and dug up worms for them - he even made a rooster type noise to call them over and show them what he had for the. In no time at all their feathers grew back and they lived the life of an outdoor free range chook.

I once, many years ago, had a cat that had never been out of a cage. He was three years old and a pedigree Abysinnian - beautiful cat. At that time I lived in a bus but even that space was too large for him and he hid behind the chest of drawers. The first time we took him outside he kept shaking his paws as he didn’t like the feel of the wet grass on his feet.

Just last week I got a 17 week old kitten who again has never been outside. She is absolutely gorgeous and yesterday we opened the door and let her venture outside. It took her a few minutes before she was stalking the chickens, chasing butterflies and racing up the nearest tree. She did keep coming back to home base every now and then just to reassure herself that she could still go back inside if she wanted to. Over the coming days we will let her spend more and more time outside and let her be her natural, wild self.

All of which brings me to you.

Just as animals have their inherent wild nature so do we. I’m not talking about being out of control but instead connecting more to the natural rhythms of life. Paying attention to the cycles and flows within us and around us. We all know that women have cycles of 28 days, give or take a day here or there, just as the moon ebbs and flows but we have lost touch with what that means for us.

We have lost touch with our bodies.


We live very much in our heads and with the influx of so much technology we are living ever more connected to a technological world and less and less with the world within us. I wrote a blog last week on “How to Survive a Bad Day” and had people comment that I should “choose to be happy” as if that was the be all and end all of human existence. We have learned to numb our feelings instead of taking the time to embrace them and truly allow ourselves to feel what we feel.

It’s almost as if we are afraid of our feelings, as though if we really allowed ourselves to feel that we may get lost in them and not able to find our way out. The internet, our cell phones, social media, drugs and alcohol all offer us tools to distance ourselves from each other and all those messy feelings we feel. There is always some form of distraction at our fingertips.

What if instead we chose to re-wild ourselves? What if we gave ourselves permission to feel all our feelings? What if we tuned into our bodies and listened to the wisdom there instead of tuning it out, drowning it out? What if we slowed back down to the speed of life instead of racing ahead to the next shiny thing, the glittering future? What if , in the words of that sixties Guru, Ram Dass, we chose to be here, now? What would that look like?

As a woman I have taken the time to reconnect to my womb and the deep wisdom that is stored there and not just my womb but my whole body. It can be as simple as eating when you are hungry and then paying attention to how that food makes you feel. Tuning into the messages that your body is giving you and then taking action to resolve the problems and trust me, your body is talking to you every day in a myriad of different ways. You don’t want to wait until you are sick before you slow down and take a break, far better to take the time off when you are well so you can actually enjoy it.

How can you connect to your body today?

10 Things Men Find Unattractive -Um, maybe

Last week I read an article called 10 Things Men Find Unattractive  and I am here to call BULLSHIT!

anyone that writes knows that lists, ahh lists, we all love a good list and people will click through to find out just what is on that list. But here is the thing - lists are like this one are full of shit.

Some men may find some of these things unattractive and others won't mind them at all. The trouble with broad, sweeping generalisations is that they are well, broad ans you know, sweeping and give us the idea that EVERY MAN on the planet will find these things ( and therefore you) UNATTRACTIVE.

And we all know that the worse thing a woman can be is UNATTRACTIVE, right?

(And can we just pause for a moment and discuss the opening paragraph on this article? All women love to gossip - seriously? They talked to every woman on the planet? Come on! Some of us much prefer deep, meaningful, philosophical shit instead of trite gossip but lets move on)

So here's my list :

5 things (some, maybe a few ) Men might find Unattractive

(1) Obsessing over our image

The men I know love a woman who is confident in herself and comfortable in her own skin not constantly seeking reassurance that she looks good in the outfit that she has on or spending time checking herself in the mirror

(2) A Selfie Junkie

Yes, you look adorable now please put the phone away and talk to the person that is in front of you. Every aspect of our lives does not need to be captured on the ubiquitous cell phone and no-one is interested in the food you are eating. Just stop.

(3) Being Unkind

Kindness costs nothing . At the same time it can make a huge impact on someone else's life - so can being unkind. Please and thank you are used so seldom today they are almost like  super powers. Try it out - kindness may just work for you.

(4) Lateness

I get it. We are all busy. Making an effort to be considerate of others time is also a kind of super power that should be flexed often. No-one likes hanging around waiting. No-one. It might be forgivable once, maybe twice but if it is becomes a habit it is just disrespectful.

(5) Obsessing over food

We all need to eat. Believe or not men know that we get hungry and that we need to eat - so eat. And while you are eating don't be making comments on "how you really shouldn't" or "just a tiny bit" or " this will go straight to my ass/belly/thighs" . Just eat and enjoy.

What have I been up to?

 You may have noticed I'm not posting here as much.

Do not despair!

 I am still around , still writing , just posting in different places.

Yesterday I started writing this piece for my new website ( you should definitely go check it out!)

 Daily Self Love

Self love is a daily requirement. Just like we need to shower, brush our teeth, make healthy food choices and exercise, we need to work self love into our daily lives. The trouble is that we think that by doing the things listed before that we are loving ourselves and while they are certainly part of the equation, they are definitely not the whole story.

The whole story is being gentle with yourself on the rough days. The days when life is dragging you down and you are not sure if you want to get back up and instead of berating yourself or eating a tub of ice cream or listening to the voice in  your head that tells you all the reasons that you are worthless and a failure you choose to get up, look yourself in the eye and say “It’s okay, babe, you got this.”

The whole story is talking nicely to yourself to drown out the Negative Nelly in your head so that the bitch sits down and shuts the fuck up so you can carry on with your day.

Click on the link below to read more

http://www.caitlingraceauthor.com/blog/daily-self-love/

 Or you hop over here and read my latest post for The Huffington Post

 Divorce: 22 years later 

I divorced my first husband 22 years ago.


This weekend I just had him, his new wife and my ex mother-in-law over for an extended family get together and it was lovely. There were no big dramas other than 2-year-old teething tantrums from my granddaughter and squawks from the 4-month-old twin granddaughters. In fact it was the best family gathering I have had in my home for a long while.
Click the link to read more
 http://www.huffingtonpost.com/caitlin-grace/divorce-22-years-later_b_9214442.html 

 

Everything Goddess -y

I have been immersed in Goddess -ness for the past few months.

Okay, years, but seriously who is counting?

I guess the focus has just ramped up a bit with the creation of my new website and the ongoing birthing of my new program Awaken Your Inner Goddess.

Creating the course has been so much fun   ( why didn't anyone tell me that creating an online course was FUN!). There have been days where I have tried ( and failed) to create videos: forgot to turn the microphone on, didn't like what I was wearing, forgot what I was talking about or the phone rang in the middle of recording.

There have been days where I was creating audios only to stumble over the words at the end or lose track of where I was in the script or had to fight off an overwhelming urge to cough.

The housework has been left undone ( okay this happens on a regular basis but this time I had an excuse)

But mostly I had FUN! ( in fact at the end of one recording session I said "Goodie, goodie, goodie" I may have even done the happy clapping thing I do - and then I realised that I hadn't turned off the recording - I left it in anyway because we all need more happy, clappy moments)

I thought of how much I could have used this course when I was getting my  marriage ended and I thought I would never find love again...... and I know I'm not the only one

I thought of how much I could have used this course when I had forgotten who I was as I was lost amongst the mothering, stepmothering, wife-ing modes....and I know I'm not the only one.

I thought of how much I could have used this course when I turned 30 (and 40 and 50) and wondered if I was still hot and sexy.... and I know I'm not the only one.

I know that once I connected to my Goddess -ness things shifted in my life in lots of big and little ways .... and I know that will happen for you too.

I know that staying connected to my Goddess -ness helps me feel more like me every day..and I know that will happen for you too.

When I talk about connecting to your inner Goddess I am not talking about something fluffy and airy- fairy, all sunshine, Unicorns and rainbows. No, I am talking about peeling back the layers of shit that we all accumulate from years of listening to the "shoulds" and the "shouldn'ts" of being a female in this 21st century. The ideas that we have to look and behave in a certain way in order to be acceptable. Not to mention the stories that we are told as children that end with the Princess meeting the handsome Prince and living "happily ever after" though we have no clear idea of what that means but some how we still feel vaguely ripped off when the fairy tales don't match up to reality.

Our Inner Goddess is our most authentic self and reconnecting with her shifts everything. We begin to remember what our desires were before we were told what they "should" be. We begin to remember what our passions were before we were told that "nice girls" didn't have passions. We begin to remember who we were before we were taught to squash ourselves into some Barbie sized dream. Most importantly, we begin to feel FREE to be ourselves with all our quirks and idiosyncrasies. We start living a life that feels Fabulous because we are Fabulous.

Want to know more? Go check out my website. Act now while the early bird special is on! Only $150NZD until February 14

The Christmas Gift List For Self Love

"We wish you a Merry Christmas. We wish you a Merry Christmas.... Lalalalalala"

It is that time of year where we hear the Christmas carols blasting forth from every shopping mall and we are all rushing around buying gifts for our loved ones.

Heaven forbid that we forget one of our loved ones! But I bet you do . Every year.

When was the last time that you bought yourself a gift for Christmas? ( Actually, when was the last time that you bought yourself a gift for your birthday? Or just to celebrate you?).

Back in the day, when I was a solo mum with two little boys I would buy my own birthday presents, mothers day gifts and Christmas presents. Hell, I even bought myself regular bunches of flowers because I was worth it.

Even now that I am happily married I still go buy myself gifts and Yes, my husband knows about them!( I buy him gifts too!)
Often we will see posts of the "Top Ten Gifts to give this Christmas" or "Things your partner will love this Christmas" but this post is a little different... it is all about things you can buy or do for yourself. Yup it is all about you, baby.

(1) Time
Okay I know you can't buy time. I also know that this time of year we all get a teeny, tiny bit frenetic so what I am suggesting is this... give yourself some time. Block out a chunk of time on your schedule where you take an hour, a day, a weekend, whatever works for you and just  chill out. By yourself.
This is a luxury more than any money can buy and one we all deserve to treat ourselves to on a regular basis.

Except we don't.

Instead we say "yes" to another Christmas function that we would rather have our teeth pulled than go to. We say "yes" to spending time with people we don't want to spend time with because "we really must catch up before the end of the year" or family guilt or whatever. So instead I am suggesting that you make an appointment in your diary/day planner/calendar app for you to catch up with you. Then when you are asked if you are available on such and such a day you can reply  that you already having something booked then so won't be able to make it.

Voila! just like that time opens up for you.

(2) Journal  

I have gone a little bit journal crazy this year. I kicked  off the year reading "The Artist's Way" by Julia Cameron and I have been journaling ever since.

I like to think of it as a conversation with myself. I discover all sorts of things by asking myself questions and then taking the time to delve deeply into the answers. I have already filled numerous notebooks and aim to fill even more. Yes, I do it by hand. You can do it however you want but there is something visceral about grabbing a book and a pen and sitting down for a few minutes every morning.

Create a ritual around your journaling. Light a candle, burn some incense, grab a hot drink and sit in the same place and then begin to write. Pour it all out on to the page. All of it. All the stuff you have been carrying around in your head. All the things you tell yourself late at night when you can't sleep. all the tings that you dream of. Everything.

What will happen?

You will free yourself up of carrying all this stuff. You will gain new insights and clarity around issues that have been bugging you. Oh, and you will sleep better ( well that's one benefit that has shown up for me)


 
(3) Jade Egg

Get yourself a jade egg. Jade eggs are used to  tone and strengthen your pelvic area but they do much more than that . They reconnect you to your sensual self. They give you permission to engage with your own pleasure and we all need more of that in our lives. Check out Saida Desilets* for more information on the benefits of using a jade egg.

(4)  Reconnect to your Inner Goddess

In my  forties I declared myself a Sex Goddess and it totally transformed my life. I felt sexier, more confident and more myself than I had for a long time. I gave myself permission to be fully myself without holding back in order to be the "good girl". You can read all about in in my book "The Goddess Guide to Sex, Love and Life"  .

When we reclaim ourselves as a Goddess we are tapping into the Divine Feminine energy that we naturally embody and that is our birthright and we heal those parts of us that have been wounded by the current masculine  doing-doing-doing, driven system that operates in this world. The Divine Feminine comes from a place of being, stillness and presence. when we connect with this sense of being we can drop back down from our heads  into our bodies and tap into our intuition for more guidance and clarity in life.

Sign up for my newsletter to be notified when my upcoming Awaken Your Inner Goddess course launches and come and join us in the Awaken Your Inner Goddess Facebook group


(5) Unplug

We are so connected with our smartphones always  by our side, beeping and buzzing with incoming texts and  notifications. The trouble is it isn't making us any happier or any more connected to the people around us. In fact it is having quite the opposite affect  where more and more people are feeling isolated and alone. It just takes a glance around your local coffee shop to see why - people sitting at the same table but glued to their phone instead of interacting with each other.

It is a great idea to designate one day a "switch off" day where you leave your phone off, step away from the computer and just be.

Which one of these gifts will you give yourself?

Returning to my hippie roots

I have always been a bit of a hippie.

When I first left home, at 18, it was to live in a housebus with my boyfriend and travel around the country. When we finally settled down it to live in a house  we built out of nothing in the back of beyond. It was one kilometre to our letterbox over hills and valleys.

We had no electricity and I cooked on a wood stove year round.( I still miss that wood stove) I baked our bread from scratch, no bread makers back then. And I was, literally, barefoot and pregnant.

Jump forward 30 odd years and here I am again living in rural NZ. This time I have a lovely house and a five minute drive to the closest town.

I am still barefoot but now all my kids have grown up and left home and two of my boys have kids of their own.

We have solar power to heat our water and a wetback in the fireplace to heat it in the winter. We are ,quietly, thinking of getting a wood stove to replace the fire place so we can cook on it . ( told you I missed the wood stove).

We have a flock of chickens and a rooster that never stops crowing. We also have fruit trees galore and a little patch of wild, regenerating native bush. Our property is our orchardist neighbors nightmare, it is all overgrown and wild and we love it.

Ugli fruit from our tree

Now that I am spending my time at home writing I get to see all the wonders of nature up close and personal. I get to look out at the ever changing view; our little patch of sea view that gleams brightly on sunny days and disappears into the mist on rainy days. I can watch the tuis singing in the flax bush while they sip greedily on the nectar. I can see the hawks swooping in the sky or rising , gently on the thermals.

I also have all sorts of things brewing on my bench. Kefir is always on the go and we now have a source of beautiful raw, organic milk - just like the good old stuff, straight from the cow.

 

 

 

Kefir, kombucha and fermented vegetables brewing on the bench

We have finally perfected making kombucha, in fact one of our bottles exploded the other day because it got so fizzy. We have been trying all sorts of flavors and mixes and have even started adding in various herbs to give it more of a tonic value.

Nothing beats a cold glass of kombucha on a hot day, nothing!

And now I am making smudge sticks out of  various herbs we have growing. Oh my God these smell so delicious

Smudge sticks

Master Tonic brewing

The plan this year is to grow a bigger herb garden and create lots of tonics and home remedies. Nothing beats having a storehouse of herbal remedies at your fingertips. Herbal teas, herbal cream  oh yes I am totally kicking my Hippi,Witchy - ness into high gear and it feels so good.

The beauty of all this is a deeper connection with Mother Earth and my own innate Goddessness. I am harvesting by the moon. I am infusing my herbal blends with Reiki and crystal energy.

More than that I am taking back my power.

I am taking it back from the supermarket chains who are exhorting me to buy this product to clean this thing.

I am taking it back from the beauty industry that is telling me I need to shave here, moisturize that, dye this. Um, No thanks. I like my own smells. I don't need to smell like  some chemical conception. I would much rather use some essential oil blend, create my own personalised, fragrance and cleansing potions for my skin at a fraction of the price.

I am taking it back from the pharmaceutical companies who are creating a pill for every ill that is making us sicker and needing yet another pill to counterbalance the side effects of the first pill until people are taking a handful of pills every day. I also realize that I am blessed with good health so I am working every day to keep that true for me and mine and the longer I can stave off the need for any drugs the happier I am.

I am also not reckless and if we needed medication I would be the first one to hop in the car and head to the doctor. In the meantime I am creating tonics and herbal teas and stocking my house with all the goodness that I can

What is your favorite herbal remedy? Or do you have a cleaning product or beauty product that you make?

Loving yourself through changes

Loving yourself is never a one-and-done deal.

There is always more of you  to love.

 Why?
 Because who you are today is different to who you were yesterday.. or last week or last month... or five years ago.

Change is the only constant.

Our beliefs change. we learn new things and things that we believed years ago, we now realize don't hold true for us any more.

Our relationships change. People who were our best friends for a long time we no longer see any more because we grew apart. Or the person that we married and thought was the love of our life we now realize was just a temporary stop on our journey through love.

Our body changes. We gain weight or we lose weight. Our body ages and we now have trouble with our hearing or our eye sight or our body just feels different than it used to.

And so we have to fall in love with our self... over and over again. Just like we do with our significant other.

I discovered this for myself recently. I am currently losing weight without even trying. Let me back up for a minute and say that I was always skinny growing up. My mother was always trying to convince me to eat and I was a picky, picky eater ( and as all mother's do she cursed me by saying " I hope you have a child as fussy as you when you grow up". Thanks Mum, I did, with bells on!). I was alsop teased unmercifully by adults and children alike. 

I was told not to stand side on or I might disappear altogether, that I was lucky my legs didn't snap and run up my arse ( who says that to someone?), that I should be careful in the wind in case I got blown away. That is just the adults. This kids just called me "stork legs"

I stayed skinny until I turned thirty although I was always terrified of becoming fat and obsessed over my weight.

Then came the perfect storm: I got pregnant to the man I was divorcing, I gave birth, got a tubal ligation, turned thirty and met the man of my dreams ... and his four girls. Not only did my hair start falling out in handfuls - so much that my hairdresser asked what to do about my bald patches but the weight ( which had all dropped off dramatically after the birth) all started piling on... and on ... and on.

I took a long time adjusting the image I had of myself to the image that was now in front of me. In my mind I was still slim. I tried eating differently. I tried exercising nothing changed.

It took me a long time to get comfortable and love my new body.

Over the past few years I have fallen deeply in love with my curvy body. I  called myself voluptuous. I claimed myself as a Sex Goddess. I wrote a book  and I shifted my mindset about what my body meant to me.

For the past couple of years I have been doing self love challenges and I am currently running Nurturing November ( a free email course. Sign up here ) and now the weight is falling off.

Yes, I changed my eating habits but not drastically. I am following the Paleo lifestyle ( I loathe to call it a diet becasue it doesn't feel like a diet at all) but not stringently. I have increased the amount of physical activity I'm doing because I have more energy although I wouldn't call it exercising ( that's in the plan though!)

But here's the thing my body is shedding the excess pounds which is great but I am also adjusting to the new slimmer me again. My clothes are getting lose and baggy. I have already gone down one size and these are now loose on me too.

As the pounds are dropping off I am learning to love myself in a new way. The stretch marks are becoming deeper and more noticeable now they are not stretched over fat, my breasts are not as plump and round as they once were. Not only is my body losing weight but,of course, I am older than I was when I was last slim so everything is different.

Oh and menopause is definitely on the horizon. Fun times.

The biggest thing I am learning ( relearning, reminding myself, noticing) is that my body really is only a very small part of who I am  and the Me that I have to love is the one who lies inside all of that. So I am loving myself a little more every day.


So here are my five tips to loving yourself through change:

(1) Change is inevitable.
 Accept that change is going to happen. If you keep struggling to keep things the same you are going to miss out on all the fun.

(2) Get comfortable with the new "normal" 
Once you accept that change is happening embrace it. All change feels uncomfortable at first but struggling with it, resisting it will only make the transition last longer and feel miserable in the process.

(3) Be gentle with yourself.
Some days everything will feel fine and others you will struggle with. It is all okay. Beating yourself up for having a bad day won't help. Taking a warm bath and going to bed early might be just the thing you need. Gentle, gentle.

(4) Look at yourself in the mirror every morning and say "I love you"
Keep reminding yourself how much you love you. Even on the days you feel like crap. Especially on the days you feel like crap. Do something you love. Treat yourself like your own best friend.

(5) Celebrate!
Take the time to acknowledge how far you have come . Every small step in the direction you want to go is a huge victory so take the time to celebrate. And keep going!

Hot Mess Sisterhood

Let's face it on any given day we can all be a bit of a hot mess.

i know that when I was growing up I thought that by the time I reached X age I would totally have all my shit together.

I am 53.

I am still waiting for that day.

The truth is we are all making it up as we go along.

When we were kids it looked  like all the adults knew what they were doing. They knew how to parent, drive a car, balance a checkbook, keep food on the table and keep their relationship going. To be honest my parents relationship didn't look that great so I was taking notes on "what I don't want in a relationship". Turns out I wasn't paying close enough attention  but that's a story for another day.

I left home at 18 and moved straight in with my boyfriend and thought that now I would have my shit together and begin to "adult". Boy, was I wrong. I went on to have kids and figured now I would know how to "adult". Nope, wrong again. Instead I suffered from post natal depression and our kindly doctor told us that I needed loving support from my husband. Instead I left him when my son was four months old.

We got back together but eventually I left him.

With two young kids I figured now I would begin to get my life sorted. Oh, how I laugh! Instead I got pregnant to my ex and then divorced.

I have just staggered from one cluster fuck to the next all in the guise of being an "adult" and "knowing what I am doing". I did make some smart moves though, namely meeting and marrying my current husband.

I am older and wiser now but life can still knock you sideways which is what happened to me a few years back when I went through a complete nervous breakdown. And just like Brene Brown's therapist I call it a Spiritual Awakening ( watch until the 11 minute mark to get the reference).

I dissolved into a heap. I didn't function. I went on antidepressants which is so against everything I believed up until that point.

This wasn't supposed to happen to me. I am a therapist. I am the one that helps people and here I was, not even able to help myself. It took me a long time to pull myself back together and it took lots of self care, lots of unending support from my beloved husband and time, lots of time.

Then it became my dirty, little secret. I felt like a fraud helping people when I had fallen apart so spectacularly. I didn't want to share about it. I didn't want to blog about it (although the nudge to do so has been there for a long time) I kept it to myself.

So why am I sharing it now?

Because we all have crap days.

Because talking about our shit, heals our shit.

Because I want you to know that I know.  I know what it is like to fall apart. I know what it is like to struggle. To struggle with being a Mum and wondering if you are doing a good job . To struggle with the idea of leaving and "what will that do to the kids?" . To struggle with an inopportune pregnancy and weigh all of that up. To struggle with starting anew relationship when there are kids involved.

Because I survived it all and thrived and I know you can too.

Because putting all my cards on the table feels real and raw and vulnerable and powerful and empowering all at the same time.

Because reclaiming myself as a Sex Goddess and stepping fully into my authenticity is just how I roll.


Want to join me? Check out my book "The Goddess Guide to Sex, Love and Life"

Or come join me over at Awaken Your Inner Goddess Facebook group

Gorgeously Gray - a journey in self acceptance

My hair first started going gray in my late twenties. At the time I was going through a divorce, had just given birth to my third child and started a new relationship with a divorced Dad of four girls. Not only did I start going gray my hair also decided to start falling out, in clumps. Thankfully that trend soon righted itself but the grays kept on coming.
Not being one to shy away from things to do with my body I decided to dye my hair black (it was a dark brown to start off with) and to enhance my grays by getting the whole piece dyed silver.

Want to read more?  Go check it out at The Huffington Post http://www.huffingtonpost.com/caitlin-grace/refuse-to-dye-gray-hair_b_8298354.html

Body shame

We all know that we are supposed to love our body.

And we all have that one niggly part of us that we just wish looked better.

That spot is different for all of us. For some its their thighs, or their cellulite. For others it is the size and shape of their nose.

Still others wish that their butt was bigger or smaller or a tiny bit more pert.

And some of us resort to surgery to "correct" the imperfection.

It seems like no sooner have we got comfortable with ourselves than somebody ( and I have not even the vaguest notion of who it could be) comes up with yet one more thing that we should be striving to attain.

First it was the "perfect" vagina which saw a huge upswing in requests for labiaplasty which still continues to blow my mind on a regular basis. ( Go check out my other post on Your Amazing Vagina or Love your labia, ladies).


Then came the "thigh gap" which only a tiny number of people can attain. Although according to this article "thigh gap" is just a new name for "heroin chic"( seriously, who comes up with these names) which preceded it.

All any of this does is make us, as women, uncomfortable in our own skin. We feel that there is some unattainable standard that we are failing to meet. With the ubiquitous use of social media and hashtags we are able to compare ourselves to other women out there who are posting pictures of their perfect thigh gap. Or boast about their session at the gym. Or show you just what they are eating.

Which, for those that may already be feeling insecure about their bodies, just makes us all feel a little bit worse.

What if, instead of looking at all those pictures on Instagram we look in the mirror and tell ourselves how beautiful we are and how much we appreciate our body?

What if instead of comparing our body to some media image we set about falling back in love with our bodies and the gifts that they give us? Have you ever watched  a bay or a toddler playing ? they take a never ending delight in their own bodies, it is only as we get older that we switch to feeling like we are less than.

What if instead of looking at the pics of someone else's green juice or plate of healthy salad we head to the kitchen and create our own self nurturing, healthy concoction?

What if we told ourselves every day, endlessly, all day long that who we are is enough. That how we look is just fine?

What if we told each other how great we are and got really comfortable giving and receiving compliments? And not just for how we look but for the way that we go about our lives.

What if we made the best compliment that you could give someone "You are an awesome kick ass women" instead of "You look great. Have you lost weight?"

Step away from technology. Look in the mirror and remind yourself of all that you have been through and all that you have achieved and you are still here. Strong, capable, beautiful. Sure you may have a few silver hairs or a laugh line here and there maybe even a stretch mark or two They are marks that you have lived, where them with pride.


Want to learn how to let go of the past and move into your future with a deeper sense of self love? Then check out the Awaken Your Inner Goddess course.

Body Love

Let's face it  we are all insecure about our bodies.

Yes, even the super models have days when they obsess about one specific flaw that is undetectable to the human eye.

And it seems the pressure just keeps mounting.

We are supposed to be wafer thin, hairless with well defined arms and abs and the perfect, tight ass, long legs and gorgeous, pert breasts. Now, it seems we are also supposed to have the perfect looking vulva.

More and more young women are opting for labiaplasty to perfect their labia and "neaten" their vulva.  I have written about this before  (here's another one . Oh, ok one more or check out this cool new blog I have found  ) and I would love it if it didn't have to be talked about anyomore but the truth is we still don't know enough about our bodies and it is hurting us; mentally, emotionally and physically.

In many African and Muslim countries genital mutilation is a common practice to ensure that women do not enjoy the sexual act. This happens to young girls before they are even of an age to be sexual. Thankfully the practice is now becoming outlawed as people are , finally, waking up the barbaric nature of it.

Except in the West where women are now paying to mutilate their own genitals in the name of a "designer vagina" or a mistaken belief that it will make them more desirable.

Let's just look at the absurdity of this shall we?

(1) There are a limited number of people who will see your labia and anyone that is up close and personal and makes a comment about the look of your labia is simply disqualifying themselves from ever getting that close again. Because, let's face it, penises are not exactly gorgeous to look at either.

(2) Our genitals are packed full of nerve endings for the sole purpose of giving us pleasure. Any surgery that is done to this area will most definitely be compromising those nerve endings so while your vulva might look stylish the "ooohhhh ahhh-ness" will be severely diminished. Why would you do that to yourself?

More than anything we have to start loving ourselves and accepting our flaws as the unique characteristic that make us the unique little snowflake that we are.

What would Cindy Crawford look like without her signature mole? Or Nicole Kidman without her freckles? And think how much happier Micheal Jackson would have been if he had just loved himself instead of having endless plastic surgery?

Now I know accepting ourselves is easier said than done BUT ( and it is a big but) it is the only way that we get to be happy, content, life affirming individuals. The only other option is constant dissatisfaction, dieting, moaning about the size of our thighs, more dieting until we finally realise at age (Pick one. Because I guarantee that you will hit a certain age and realise that you wasted far too much of your youth worrying about some part of your body that is actually ok) that NONE OF IT MATTERS!.

It doesn't matter if your thighs touch - take a look at pictures of Marilyn Monroe.

It doesn't matter if your vulva is an innie or an outie.

It doesn't matter  if you have a physical flaw what matters is that you are alive and healthy and living your life.

That is all. Go be happy. Leave all the body doubts there on the floor.

For more advice on loving yourself check out my latest book "The Goddess Guide to Sex, Love and Life

Turning up the heat

We all want to be thought of as being good in bed.

We want to think that we leave our partner satisfied and happy and with thoughts of only us dancing around in their heads for hours afterwards.

We like to think that they will have a sly smile on their face the next day whenever thoughts of us drift across their mind, which will happen often because the sex we had was just that good.

The trouble is, as women, we keep looking outside of ourselves for that magic solution on how to drive a man crazy in bed or make ourselves desirable.

We think it comes down to the right boob size. It doesn't.

Or the right dress size. Again it doesn't, in fact I dare you to ask your partner your dress size. I bet he doesn't have a clue.

Or we think it comes down to how much we weigh. Nah - wrong again.

Or whether we have cellulite on our thighs, or stretch marks,  or whether we have the right hairstyle, or , or, or. Our list of things that could be wrong with us is long and we think if we just fix that  then men will want us, desire us.

Then we think is we just do this or that then he will keep coming back for more.

We forget that we are enough.

I just watched a promo for a new program this woman has created that will have men flocking to you, enable you to unlock their deepest desires and become their all time fantasy woman and it's yours for the small price of $47 USD but you better hurry because she should really sell it for $297. This program will have men adoring you and begging to be your man and while it wasn't sleazy it is still focused on him and all you can do to help drive him wild.

At the same time I got an email from another person that I follow telling you ways to make you feel more like a Goddess all of which I already knew and wrote about in my book "The Goddess Guide to Sex, Love and Life" .

I know which one I am more interested in... and I hope you are too.

Becoming our most vibrant, sexual, sensual selves will bring about the most amazing change in our sex lives while at the same time making us happy and content within ourselves, boosting our confidence and all while taking the best care of ourselves .

Nothing is more potent and alluring to men than a woman who is completely at home in her own body. A woman who revels in her sexuality and isn't scared of embodying her inner goddess is a woman who will be adored but more than that she will enable her man to open fully into his own expression of his sexuality.

This isn't just a theory that I hold it is what has happened in my own relationship. We are not some hot, young couple just starting out on our journey together. No, we are a middle aged couple who have been together for the past 22 years and our relationship hasn't always been this way.

Get your copy here

In fact it has only been in the past 8 years that things have really begun to get hotter and steamier, right when the media would have you believe everything should be heading in the opposite direction. It wasn't until I changed that things took a turn for the better. One day I decided that it was time for me to embrace who I truly am and start living as a full expression of my authentic self and so I declared myself to be a sex Goddess and with that everything shifted.

Since then I have been writing and talking about self love, sexuality and being a goddess. Most importantly I finally published my book  in which I give women tips and exercises to do to help them become their most sensual selves.

One of the most heart opening aspects of all this has been that my husband has been able to shed years of guilt, shame and fully open into the gorgeous, sexy, loving man that was buried beneath all of that old shit. And none of that came about because I was focusing on him like all the articles suggest you do. No, it came about because I opened up to myself, just like Marianne Williamson says in her famous poem " And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”


So where are you going to look? Outwards or inwards?

Loving yourself whole

The way I see it we have only one choice - we have to love ourselves

All of our selves.

The flawed, quirky parts of us.

The wounded parts of us.

The parts of us that were wounded when we were little. ( Yes, I mean our Inner Child)

The parts of us that didn't quite fit in when were teenagers. (More Inner Teenager than Inner child)

The parts of us that were damaged from the relationship break ups.

The parts of us that don't have a f@+%ing clue what we are doing with our lives even though we are now (fill in the blank) age and should have our shit together.

The parts of us that are changeable and fluid and bend which ever way the wind is blowing, or when some new inspiration hits. "I'm going to become a writer.... no, I'm going to move to the South Island, no, I'm going to dye my hair green, no wait....I'm going to"

The parts of us that are so deep and dark and scary that we hide them... even from ourselves.

The parts of us that just want to crawl under the covers and come out when the world is nicer.

We need to love ourselves back to wholeness, back to happy, back to abundance, back to our natural loving, open armed, open hearted selves.

The eternal question is how?

How do we love all of that messy, dark , wounded parts of us?

By admitting that it is there.

By taking ownership of it.

"Yes, I am flawed. Yes, I do get angry and fly off the handle far too easily. Yes, I have been hurt. Yes. Yes.Yes. This is me in all my flawed beauty"

By acknowledging, to yourself, all that you have been through and learning the lessons from them.

By accepting that this is who you are - without judging or feeling sorry for yourself .

Because if we can accept and love our friends when they are being jerks then surely we can love ourselves too.

If we can love our partner/husband/wife/lover when they just made a dick of themselves, not to mention all their irritating little habits then surely we can love ourselves too.

If we can love our children when they poop on us or vomit on us or (when they are older) when they make silly mistakes then surely we can love ourselves too.

We all make mistakes, we all screw up the trick is to love ourselves through all of it. We do it for everyone else maybe it's time we did it for ourselves too.



Want more of this? Check out my book "The Goddess Guide to Sex, Love and Life"

Dear Women of the World

Dear Women of the World,

You are not broken.

You are not something that needs to be fixed.

All the messages that you are receiving that are telling you that this magic pill will slim you down or this diet or this shampoo will make your hair full and glossy and able to be tossed over your shoulder in one gorgeous, smooth swathe or that your period will be a breeze if you just use this tampon, it is all LIES!

You are enough - just as you are right now. All of your imperfections and flaws are what make you beautiful and human and more YOU than any commercial could ever make you.

Please stop listening to all the shit in the women's magazines ( actually please just stop buying those, it only encourages them to print even more of the same shit) that tells you how to get "bikini ready" (you already are! Just go buy one and put it on) or how to "lose a dress size in a week" ( that's why Spanx were invented!) or "how to please your man" (guess what? He already loves you and longs to please you! True story.)

You are enough.

And as for the worries about the grey, hair have you seen what the latest fashion trend is? Young women are dying their hair various shades of grey, platinum and silver because, the simple fact of the matter is, silver is SEXY! We've all heard the term Silver Foxes applied to men once their hair turns so it is time we started embracing ours too.

Wrinkles? All of those are war wounds, battle scars and treasures to show that we have LIVED and survived, that we have birthed life, from our very bodies. We have seen stuff and been through things and WE ARE STILL HERE. Let's not fight the aging process because the opposite - dying young, is not something I relish.

In fact it is time for us to rage, rage against the dying of the light ( thank you Dylan Thomas) and give thanks for all our body has been though. We need to honour our process of living and not meekly hang our heads and feel that we are no longer valid, vital  members of society. It is time to stop kowtowing to the fashion industry, style gurus, beauty industry, and realise that they are just trying to sell us something. They don't care about us, they care about their bottom line and if they can keep us insecure about our looks, our worthiness, our bodies then they will do all they can to keep doing it so they can sell us even more.

I'll say it again, YOU. ARE. ENOUGH.  Right now. Here . Today. Just as you are. You are worthy and valuable and beautiful, now.

And that won't change. No matter how old you get, how wrinkled and grey, you are still enough.

Look at the faces of your loved ones when you walk into a room, their faces will light up with love now that you are here. Your lover, your kids, your grandkids - to them you are everything and how you look has no bearing on that at all.

You are enough.

Lots of love ,
Me .


PS: If you are feeling less than in love with yourself right now come and join my FREE Self Love Immersion . Sign up here

Immerse yourself in Love

It is time to immerse yourself in LOVE, to sink into all the love that is already available to you - the love you have for yourself.

In our fast paced life we forget that we are our first and last love. We are the ones that we will be traveling through life with, the one who will be with us for the big moments and the small moments. Others may come and go, some will travel with us for a long stretch of time but we are the only ones that will be with us from the beginning to the very end.

The only trouble is no-one has taught us how to look after ourselves. 

Yes, we know how to shower and dress ourselves. We know how to brush our teeth and do up our shoes. We know when we need to go to the doctor and the dentist.

What we don't know is how to care for ourselves when we are going through a dark night of the Soul, when fear and doubt and anxiety seize us and threaten to drag us under. We don't know how to deal with our everyday bouts of despair and angst. We turn to our friends or our partner but they often only hug us and say " everything will be ok" and we believe them because we don't know what else to do.

"With every act of self care your authentic self gets stronger, and the critical, fearful mind gets weaker. Every act of self care is a powerful declaration: I am on my side, I am on my side, each day I am more and more on my side."

Susan Weiss Berry

What better time to start a Self Love Journey than Mother's day so you can start mothering your inner child and nurturing yourself like only a mother can. Mother's day is May 10 here in NZ so I am going to start a FREE Self Love Immersion on May 10. It will be three weeks of emails with fun activities for you to do so you can start falling truly, madly, deeply in love with yourself.

Sign up here and get your first email on May 10. Come and join the private Facebook group here.

For more inspiration on loving yourself get my new book The Goddess guide to Sex, Love and Life only available at Amazon.

The Door of Awesomeness (aka The Fridge)

Just some of the things on my fridge door.

There is one door in my house that I affectionately call the "Door of Awesomeness" and that is the fridge door. Everything goes on there. Fridge magnets that I love, photos of  my kids and grandkids before I put them in frames or the photo album, but mostly it is covered in quotes that I love.

I am a wordy person and I have been collecting quotes for as long as I can remember.

I collect them in note books and scraps of paper. I have folders full of the ones I have printed out and I always have some on the fridge. Always.

That is until a few weeks ago when I was doing a big de-clutter, spring clean ( even tho where I am we are moving into Autumn!). In a flurry of domesticity and a desire for a more zen like calm in the house, I stripped the fridge door bare... and left it like that. For about a week.

There was the fridge door in all its stark, stainless steel glory. All shiny and gleaming. But it didn't feel right. Worse, it didn't feel, like me anymore.

The thing is all those quotes and pictures are  things I read whenever I open the fridge or stroll through the kitchen. sometimes while I am sitting over  at my office desk I will glance into the kitchen and read something off the fridge to inspire me or ground me.

When my youngest son moved overseas I printed out an A4 sized pic of him and placed it on the fridge because I missed him. Soon my husband ( who is notorious for coming up with nicknames) started refering to him as FridgeBoy: "Have you heard from FridgeBoy recently?"

Nothing stays the same in life, or on my fridge and so that pic has come down (my son is now living in the UK), new grandchildren have been born ( their pics went on the fridge and have now come down), new inspiration comes, new poems are found and they all spend time on the fridge

I guess my fridge is a bit like a mini vision board or collection site for all my current interests. My shower is another place for me to gather my poems and quotes. This is where I post quotes to inspire me for the morning or prayers that I am working with. In fact, if I really break it down my whole home is full of altars and vision boards, places to savour the word in all its many forms - quotes, poems, intentions and prayers.

What prayers keep you going?  Is there a quote that you carry with you or have somewhere in your home? Is your fridge a door of awesomeness that you renew as the mood takes you? If it is I would love you to share it on Instagram with the hashtag #doorofawesomeness so I can check it out.

In the meantime Sign Up for my newsletter to keep up with all the new stuff I have coming for you.

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Small steps = BIG Rewards

Artwork by Aimee van Essen

I am (finally) launching my Self Love program.

Last year I was all set to launch into the year with a hiss and a roar only to get sidelined by two deaths in my family. Both were sudden and unexpected and left me reeling and made me re-evaluate what I was doing and how I was doing it.

The Self Love Club didn't feel quite right and I couldn't quite pull it all together in a timely manner so I ditched the whole idea and started a free Facebook group which was great and I had some lovely participation. But again it still felt like something was not quite right; nothing was flowing and my head still seemed to be firmly stuck up my arse (that's ass for my American friends).

So I have continued to tweak, refine and work on myself to get clear on what and how I want to deliver the best, most helpful content to you and

*drum roll* TA DA! 

The FREE 7 Day Self Love Immersion program is coming up on February 14!

Yes, February 14 was selected as the PERFECT day to start because it's Valentines day and what better day could you pick to start loving yourself more????

Yeah, I don't know either so Feb 14 it is!

I picked the word Immersion  (a) because I'm a word nerd and (b) because of this awesome definition

immersion

ɪˈməːʃ(ə)n/

noun

noun: immersion 

1. the action of immersing someone or something in a liquid.

   "his back was still raw from immersion in the icy Atlantic sea"

   • baptism by immersing a person bodily (but not necessarily completely) in water.
2. deep mental involvement in something.

   "a week's immersion in the culinary heritage of Puglia"

   • a method of teaching a foreign language by the exclusive use of that language.

     "as a teacher she advocates learning by immersion"
3. Astronomy

   the disappearance of a celestial body in the shadow of or behind another.

   
   

   
   

Well mainly for (1) and (2) and if anything (3) will have us moving out from behind the shadow of our former selves so I'm going to say WINNING!

I love the definition of immersion written above as I feel it sums up exactly what we are about to embark on. 

In one way we will be fully immersing ourselves in the watery depths of our emotions to peel back and discover why we stopped loving ourselves and what is holding us back from loving ourselves more fully. At the same time we will be deeply, mentally involved in looking at self-love from all angles: we will be meditating on it, clearing old beliefs around it and looking at ways to actively love ourselves more.

While all of that might sound a bit daunting the activities are all simple, easy and effective and how deep you are  willing to immerse yourself is completely up to you. The great thing is I will be there to support you 100% and I will be backed up by the other participants in our own private, closed Facebook group so you can share and interact with others in completely safety.

The key to the program will be simple, easy, do able steps and lots of support.

So do you want in????

This program is for you if:

* you feel you want more from your life than you are currently experiencing

* you feel stuck on some level - you can't quite put your finger on it but you are ready for a change

* you just want more - more fun, more love, more life

Take the plunge and sign up for my newsletter for the full details. Just fill out the form below and YOU ARE IN!

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An Ode to Men

Let me just state right up front that I love men in general and my husband in particular. Sure, men are hairy and loud. They fart and think that belching the alphabet is funny and they scratch their privates while in public but lets face it, where would we be without them?

Yes, I know that women are equally as awesome ( and obnoxious, in different ways)

Yes, I know that  women can do all that men can do.

I also know that we need to start taking the time to appreciate each other more.

I read 81 Things that Dads do that make us Weak at the knees which made me smile and remember raising my kids.

That post then inspired Steven Lake to write My Wife tells me Ten Things I do that Make her Happy

And now I'm writing my own list.

10 Things My Husband does that make me weak at the Knees:

(1) Empties the trash. No big deal, no "look what I'm doing for you". Nope, he just empties the trash. Sure he may not always replace the bin liner but so what?

(2) He is always glad to see me.  It doesn't matter if I am looking frazzled, with my hair pointing in every direction but the one I want it too or all glammed up  he always greets me  with "Hey Beautiful" . That is a little slice of heaven right there.

(3) He calls me his Life Wife. We are both doing this marriage thing for the second time so that is a vote of confidence in our relationship and our bond. *swoon*

(4) He says "thank you" after every meal. No matter what I cook for him he thanks me for a delicious meal. Every time. *double swoon*

(5) He always checks the car. Putting petrol in the car is about my limit when it comes to car maintenance. So if I am off on a trip he does all the blokey checks; tyres, oil and whatever else needs doing. He also schedules all the servicing after asking me if I need the car that day.

(6) He made it part of our wedding vows to keep me in chocolate and "bling". He looks at jewelery catalogs more than I do!

(7) He listens. Whenever I am talking to him I get his full attention. He makes eye contact and fully engages with what I am saying regardless of whether it interests him or not.

(8) He sends me texts so I know he's thinking of me. Once or twice a day I'll get a text from him just to say "hi". Some are smutty. some are lovey dovey. Either way I know he's been thinking of me . *melting*

(9) The way he smiles. Just that. Seeing his face wreathed in joy makes my heart go all gooey inside.

(10) His hugs. He wasn't much of a hugger when we first got together  but now he gives the best hugs ever.

Bonus (11) Love the way he is sooo gentle with animals.

Five Things I love about my Sons:

(1) They are not afraid to be totally themselves. They are all different and they are all proudly who they are.

(2) They embrace their soft side. My eldest has four kids and I have seen hi be incredibly gentle and tender with his daughters while encouraging them to be adventurous  too. My middle son used to try and organize romantic interludes for my hubby and me when he was 11. Or he would pick flowers for hubby to give me. So sweet

(3) They call their mother. My youngest just had some great news. Who did he call? His Mum. One hour later and we ran out of things to talk about. So grateful that they keep in touch.

(4) They know what I like. Youngest sent me a purple scarf from the US. ( Love purple, love scarves!) Middle son gave me a turquoise Buddha for my birthday ( I now have quite a collection of Buddhas). Eldest sent flowers and photos of my grandy's.

(5) They all end their calls with "Love you Mum" * just a puddle on the floor*

Three Things I love about my  (male) Hairdresser.

(1) He listens. Yup, listening is HUGE. HUGE I tell you!. By simply paying attention I feel validated, heard and valued.

(2) He cares. When my mother in law passed away earlier this year and I had a not-so-great haircut from one of the other stylists at the salon, Richard fixed it for me and made me feel great in the midst of a shitty, shitty time.

(3) He gets me. He understands the look I want to achieve and at the end of cutting my hair he says
" There you are. Now you look more like you." *swoon*
( If you want to check out his work go here )

Come back next week and I will post my "Ode to Women" for all the Fabulous ladies in my life.

Who do you need to show some appreciation too?


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