Uncovering your authentic self

Who are you?

Now, who are you really?

Aside from your name and your job title who are you?

Being authentic is one of those catch phrases that gets bandied about a lot lately and it seems like we are all trying to figure out just who the hell we really are.

Why is that?

Well, generally it is becasue we have spent so much fucking time and energy trying to please somebody, or several somebodies, or everybody. We seem to have got the message early in our life that we just weren't measuring up so we figured that we needed to be "something else" only that never felt quite right so we tried again and again to be "just right"

Oh my God it's exhausting just writing that all down. But we've all done it haven't we?

Smiled when we wanted to cry.

Smiled when inside we were seething.

Smiled and said "I'm fine" when we wanted to scream and fall apart.

Smiled, through gritted teeth and smiled and smiled and kept everything so tightly wrapped so you didn't unravel.... until.

Until you noticed that your face ached and your stomach felt tied in knots and you were looking forward so, so much to that glass of wine ( or three) at the end of the day so you could "relax"  only you still felt wound tight as a drum.

Until your body was screaming at you, in constant pain with lots of little, and big, niggles; headaches, back aches, aches upon aches, sore throats, chest infections, skin eruptions. Oh,the list is long.

Until. You. Just. Can't. Take. It. Any. More.

So you set out to be your most authentic self..... only you have forgotten what that looks like. Or feels like.

In fact you just feel numb and Oh my God, so TIRED.

You have forgotten how to just be you.

You have forgotten how to have fun without alcohol

You have forgotten how to feel.

How do you get back to yourself?

(1) Start saying "no"

If someone offers you something; a piece of cake, a job, the chance to go to a party and you don't feel a "Hell, Yeah" inside of you then it's a "Hell, No". End of story.
doing things out of obligation or a sense of "having to" isn't fun for anybody so don't do it.

(2) Spend some time alone

We get so used to  being plugged in; to our phones, to the internet, that we forget what it is like to be alone with our own thoughts. try it. Try for one day to disconnect from the phone, from the computer, from other people. Just be with yourself and see what comes up. Figure out what you love to do and do that.

(3) Remember

Find some pictures of you when you were a child, the younger the better and try and remember what lit you up then. Chances are there is some part of you that would still love that now.

(4) Play

Take sometime to paly. Splash in puddles. Blow bubbles. Spend the afternoon coloring in. Or ride your bike. Go to the beach.

Spend some time doing nothing much at all that doesn't involve electronics. You might find you actually like it.

(5) Spend time in Nature

Nature soothes us like nothing else. It takes us back to our primal state and restores our Soul.

(6) Journal

Handwriting activates different parts of our brain and helps us to unravel all the ideas, thoughts and beliefs that we have banging around inside our heads.  Julia Cameron's "The Artist's Way" is a great place to start as it gives you writing prompts for each day.


(7) Book a session

If all else fails book a session with me so we can uncover what is truly holding you back from being your most awesome self.

Turning up the heat

We all want to be thought of as being good in bed.

We want to think that we leave our partner satisfied and happy and with thoughts of only us dancing around in their heads for hours afterwards.

We like to think that they will have a sly smile on their face the next day whenever thoughts of us drift across their mind, which will happen often because the sex we had was just that good.

The trouble is, as women, we keep looking outside of ourselves for that magic solution on how to drive a man crazy in bed or make ourselves desirable.

We think it comes down to the right boob size. It doesn't.

Or the right dress size. Again it doesn't, in fact I dare you to ask your partner your dress size. I bet he doesn't have a clue.

Or we think it comes down to how much we weigh. Nah - wrong again.

Or whether we have cellulite on our thighs, or stretch marks,  or whether we have the right hairstyle, or , or, or. Our list of things that could be wrong with us is long and we think if we just fix that  then men will want us, desire us.

Then we think is we just do this or that then he will keep coming back for more.

We forget that we are enough.

I just watched a promo for a new program this woman has created that will have men flocking to you, enable you to unlock their deepest desires and become their all time fantasy woman and it's yours for the small price of $47 USD but you better hurry because she should really sell it for $297. This program will have men adoring you and begging to be your man and while it wasn't sleazy it is still focused on him and all you can do to help drive him wild.

At the same time I got an email from another person that I follow telling you ways to make you feel more like a Goddess all of which I already knew and wrote about in my book "The Goddess Guide to Sex, Love and Life" .

I know which one I am more interested in... and I hope you are too.

Becoming our most vibrant, sexual, sensual selves will bring about the most amazing change in our sex lives while at the same time making us happy and content within ourselves, boosting our confidence and all while taking the best care of ourselves .

Nothing is more potent and alluring to men than a woman who is completely at home in her own body. A woman who revels in her sexuality and isn't scared of embodying her inner goddess is a woman who will be adored but more than that she will enable her man to open fully into his own expression of his sexuality.

This isn't just a theory that I hold it is what has happened in my own relationship. We are not some hot, young couple just starting out on our journey together. No, we are a middle aged couple who have been together for the past 22 years and our relationship hasn't always been this way.

Get your copy here

In fact it has only been in the past 8 years that things have really begun to get hotter and steamier, right when the media would have you believe everything should be heading in the opposite direction. It wasn't until I changed that things took a turn for the better. One day I decided that it was time for me to embrace who I truly am and start living as a full expression of my authentic self and so I declared myself to be a sex Goddess and with that everything shifted.

Since then I have been writing and talking about self love, sexuality and being a goddess. Most importantly I finally published my book  in which I give women tips and exercises to do to help them become their most sensual selves.

One of the most heart opening aspects of all this has been that my husband has been able to shed years of guilt, shame and fully open into the gorgeous, sexy, loving man that was buried beneath all of that old shit. And none of that came about because I was focusing on him like all the articles suggest you do. No, it came about because I opened up to myself, just like Marianne Williamson says in her famous poem " And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”


So where are you going to look? Outwards or inwards?