Sacred sexual Soul Healing

Get comfy this could be a long post so go grab yourself a cuppa - I'll wait.


Right, let's talk about sex and the energy that gets exchanged during it and where that all ends up.

We all know that we are energetic, light beings - well I'm just going to go ahead and see you nodding your head to that and assume you agree. And sex is one of the ways that we connect with others on an energetic level. In fact it is the only way that we merge our energy body completely with another. When we engage in a sexual act our chakras all align ( well , there are probably lots of positions where this is not entirely true and it would take too long to list all of them so let's just assume (again) that most sex acts line our chakras up or that this will happen at some point during most sexual encounters). Not only do they align but energy is transferred and a residue of that is left behind at the end of that encounter.

Now just pause for a moment and think of all the sexual encounters you have had to date. Yup, go all the way back to the very first fumblings when you were first exploring your sexuality. Yes, even those times when you were all on your own and playing around.

But their was no one else involved then so why are we including that?

Ahh, well you see there was probably an element of fear or shame or " Oh my God if someone found me they would be so shocked/disgusted/horrified. I must be a bad person. Maybe I'm a pervert?" type of anxiety and yes, all of that gets lodged in there as well.

Now, you might be wondering where exactly this all gets stored in your body and the answer is primarily, in your genitals and if you are female, also in your womb, for men that is the hara or lower dan tien.

But that is not the only way that we store energy in our body, oh no. It also gets stored through negative or emotionally charged events. In fact in her book Vagina, Naomi Wolf talks about how women become emotionally shut down and numbed due to  cat calling, name calling, off colour, misogynistic jokes and the list goes on. And no, it is not just that we are more emotionally sensitive it is that directly impacts our pudendal nerve, an intricate network of nerves that connect every part of our genitals to our brain.

Just pause for a moment ladies and think of how many times a day you get the message that some part of your body is not acceptable. Here's a few to get you started

•  every time we see an ad suggesting we shave our vulva
• every time we see a tampon commercial with that blue dye because our real blood would be too gross
• every picture of an airbrushed model with skin smoothed to perfection

Or how about the songs talking about bitches and "ho's"?  Or the times you have been called a skank, slut, bitch, whore or some other derogatory name? Or the fact that calling someone a "pussy" is an insult? Or how about the word "cunt" being an insult? The male equivalent of "dick", which is the only time male genitals are used in an insulting way, just doesn't have the same punch to it.

And let's not forget the leering, overly friendly , groping we also put up with - maybe not daily but often enough to make us feel uncomfortable.

I also know that you men suffer insults and threats to your manhood that can make you toughen up, shut down and close off. Endless fears the you will be considered "gay" when you were in your teens. Or worse if you were gay and terrified that someone would "out" you. Taunts of being a wimp, a pussy, a girl for not being tough enough or masculine enough ( whatever the hell that means).

And who can forget the impact that religion has on our sexuality ( actually I did and had to dd this paragraph in later. Ooops!) . Raised as a good catholic girl the strictures around sex are strong and can take a lifetime to break but it's not just the Catholics - all religions want to have soem say in how you express yourself sexually.

All of those experiences impact us at the  lower three chakras; solar plexus -self esteem, sacral - our sexuality and sensuous nature and the base chakra - our sense of belonging to the tribe. They leave a residue of "not good enough", a taint of shame, a blush of "not worthy" and all those emotions leave us feeling unclean, dirty, disconnected from our most sensual selves. They impair our enjoyment in life . Not to mention our reveling in the pleasure of our sexual nature.

If you have read this far I am guessing that you are wondering just how you can clear out all this nasty crap? How do we clear our sexual past from our wombs and genitals? How do we clear the emotional baggage from our past relationships?

There are a few ways :

• Counselling
• EFT or tapping - tapping on specific meridian points while repeating phrases associated with your emotional intensity
• Joining my SSSH! Sacred Sexual Soul Healing group for an energetic tune up weekly.

Energetic healing is a (relatively) new form of healing. Well, that is to say it is becoming more readily recognised as a form of healing. Hands on healing and Reiki have been around for years. Master Usui, who  developed Reiki, had a distant healing symbol in amongst his arsenal. Reiki can be sent anywhere, across all time, space and dimensions.

Now you might be asking yourself what that has to do with sexual healing? Simple - by sending Reiki to all the members of the group as an energetic detox we can shift, clear and let go of a butt load ( no pun intended) of huge crappola and the utmost, super fabulosity of all this that as the group grows so does the energy and , you guessed it, the clearing and releasing does massive uplevel as well. All of this takes place while you are going about your business.

No regurgitating your story to whoever will listen.

No weeping, wailing and gnashing of teeth.

Now, you do have to do your part by getting clear on what you want to release, being open to the energy flow and taking care of yourself through the process. What that looks like is (1) drinking loads of water to clear out your energy system (2) having an Epsom Salt bath to assist the electrical shifting that occurs and (3) be open to noticing the coincidences and synchronicities that abound in your life.

Sounds awesome, right?

If you want to find out more go check out my website but only do it if you really want to change your life.

The Power of Reiki

For a long time, even before I became attuned to Reiki, my husband told me he loved the energy from my hands.

 Not just him either.

There was the time in a shuttle bus from Coffs Harbor to the airport in when a fellow passenger had an injured leg and I suggested that she rested it on my seat and i placed my hand on it during the trip. When we got to our destination she thanked me and said her leg felt much better now.

Then I did Level one, two and three in Reiki training. Mostly I used it on myself and my husband. Occasionally I would send it to my cat while she was on my lap, apparently cats love reiki!

I sent ti to my auntie after her surgery and she credited it with healing her up faster than the surgeon was expecting.

Often when I am sending reiki energy it feels like precisely nothing is taking place; my mind wanders, the client falls asleep but nothing profound or earth shattering takes place.

 Sometimes my hands get warm, sometimes they get cold.

Sometimes I can feel a tingle through my hands and then it stops and I move to the next hand position and it starts up again...... and sometimes it doesn't.

Sometimes I "see" lots of colours or Angels or I "know"that certain beings or relatives are close by....... and other times I don't.

Most of the time clients fall asleep, however briefly, on that table. Sometimes they get leg twitches and tummy rumbles.

They always say how much more relaxed they feel at the end of a session. Who wouldn't after an hour of lying down doing precisely nothing?

But recently I have been sending reiki to my mother in law. She is 85 years old and has been in hospital for the past three weeks and nobody expects her to be coming home any time soon.... if at all.

She has been on  a steady downward slide for the past few years and now it seems to have picked up the pace.

A few weeks back when she was in hospital, I decided to give my husband some reiki and, at the same time, send some to his Mum. I have had some amazing reiki sessions with my husband, the outpouring of love between us has been incredibly mindblowing and the effect has lasted for days, sometimes weeks, but again, it doesn't happen every time.

Part way through our session I started feeling really strange...... couldn't -stand- up -any -longer- need-to-lie -down-right-now-strange. So I told hubby and went to lie down in the same room and continue sending him distance reiki. Straight away I get the voice in my head going "stroke, stroke, stroke" and I think "uh oh, this isn't good" ( now don't get me wrong, I don't hear voices all the time either ). By this time I am ready to go full on into nap time and hope that I don't wake up paralysed down one side. ( no, I didn't say anything to hubby). when I woke up from my nap ( it was lovely, thanks for asking) I cautiously tested my whole body, yup everything working fine, whew, don't know what that was all about and carried on with my day.

Two hours later we got the call.

Rob's mum had had a stroke. At this point a light-bulb went on over my head as I realised that this probably took place while I was sending her reiki which is why I felt so weird.

Since then I have continued to send her reiki both remotely and while we have been to see her. while all the other brothers and sisters have said that she seems agitated and distressed when they visit her, our visits have been peaceful and she has looked calm and restful  - no panic attacks, no apnea just sleeping with moments of awareness and recognition.

Can I say for sure that it is the reiki? No.

Do I know in my heart that the reiki is helping her? Absolutely!

On one of our recent visits, while sending her reiki I "saw" her surrounded by angels and the most powerful wave of loving energy came across me that it was hard not to cry. On this visit I also "saw" a big, fluffy dog - there one minute, gone the next. I asked hubby if they had ever had a big dog and he said "no" and I got the name "Sasha"in my head at the same time he said "oh hang on a minute , Mum had a dog called Astra. She went everywhere with Mum." I said "well she is here now"

Yesterday we went for another visit with some of hubby's daughters ( he's got 4) and we all took turns holding her hand and chatting with her as she drifted in and out. At one stage I switched places with one of the girls and slipped my hand in hers at which point she opened her eyes and said "I knew it was you, such a lovely energy" Yup, I had started sending the energy as soon as our hands connected.

Reiki works.

Even when it's not working, it's working.

Even when it seems like nothing is happening or I'm not focusing, it's working.


The more I practise ; on my self, on my husband, on clients, remotely or in person, the better it gets, the deeper it goes, the stronger the connections.

We are all energy and we are all connected. Always.




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Touch a, touch a, touch me!

 We all need to be touched.

We yearn for it .

We ache for it.

And some of us go to great lengths to get it. Touch, that is.

The name of this blog post is from  The Rocky Horror Picture show Youtube clip.

If you have never seen it go and check it out. The link above is to one of my favorite songs from the show.


However, some of us seem to be under the impression that when men touch it is purely as a prelude to sex or sex related. Consequently a lot of women withdraw or refrain from touching the men in their lives as they don't want to encourage sexual advances.

As women, we have the luxury ( yes, it is a luxury and don't you forget it!) of regular human contact . If we are single we will get hugs from our girlfriends ( and if you are one of my girlfriends you will soon realize that you will get hugged..... a lot!).

We hug.

We rub each others arms.

We put our hands around each others shoulders.

We just reach out and touch each others arms or hands

Hell, I have even been known to walk arm in arm with my BFF's ( yes, I have more than one) when strolling down the street.

Now pause for just a moment and think about any males you may know and ask yourself when was the last time you gave them a hug or a pat on the back or nay other form of affectionate touching. Then ask yourself when did they get that from one of their male friends . The answer is, probably never.

Because it would be considered , well, a bit "gay". And therein lies the problem. Men touching each other is frowned upon. It is seen as  too girly or poofterish ( yeah, I'm not politically correct. Deal with it)

Men on the sports field however will touch and hug and generally release all of their touchy feelings while at the same time being as butch as you like.

But if your man is not a sportsman he isn't getting that kind of interaction. So the touching is, literally, all in your hands

And they need it just as much as we do.

Some of them need it more. They are crying out to be touched, to be held.

Why?


Because it is a basic human need.

 Like breathing.

It is one of the first ways that we start to connect to the world. We, hopefully, are laid on the bare skin f our mother, nurtured and cradled, moments after leaving the womb. It is this connection, this touch that we yearn and crave for all our lives.

When I was a young girl of 11 I would hug my father good night, usually I would sit in his lap. Innocent, natural. But then one day Dad decided that I was now "too old"to sit in his lap. This was the only affection I received from my father on a daily basis and just like that, it stopped.

I was devastated. I couldn't understand why he was rejecting me , because that is what it felt like. What had I done wrong?

Grow up.
 That was the mistake I had made. I was developing breasts round about then so that made me "too old" for affection.

Guess what?

We do this even younger to our boys.

When they are born we cuddle and nuzzle them. As toddlers we hold their hands and stroke their hair and cuddle them. Then, at some point, and it's different in every family, we start being told  by other males or family members to "stop babying him"  or some such nonsense. Sometimes the boys themselves will resist the hugs you give them but deep, deep inside they still want it . They have just learnt that thy have to be tough or brave or manly ( or a long list of stupid words)

The sad thing is, at whatever age it happens, we stop touching them. Whether they are in their early teens or late teens or at some stage before that we just stop.

And the tragedy of it all is this is when they need it most.

I have spoken before about how to raise gorgeous boys and the importance of touch  and sadly, I will probably talk about it again and again until we get the message. Men need to be touched. We all do. It is part of being human.

I have recently met a beautiful woman whose job is all based around touch and you can connect with her here

Space clearing your "junk"

There is nothing like a good spring clean to re-energize your home. You get to go through all your stuff, drag it out into the light of day, sort through it all and discard anything that you no longer need.  Then you give everything a good clean and restore order and harmony to your home, usually with several bags of rubbish to be carted off and maybe even some bags to donate to your favourite charity shop.

I am a huge advocate of spring cleaning and will often embark on it at random times of the year. One of my favourite coaches, Denise Duffield-Thomas ( author of Get Rich, Lucky Bitch)  writes about how decluttering can shift your money blocks as well. After reading her Get Rich, Lucky Bitch book I immediately did a huge clean out and, lets be honest, still have more to do!

I also take it a step further and clear the energy of my home.

I read Karen Kingston's book "Creating Sacred Space with Feng Shui", years ago and have been doing this in my home ever since. I have numerous singing bowls and bells dedicated to this purpose and,  a couple of years ago, was able to purchase a crystal singing bowl which is just divine.

Once you have done a space clearing ritual on your home you will notice  a huge difference to the energy, everything just feels crisp and clear.

Maintaining a clear vibration in your home then becomes a much easier task. Burning incense, lighting candles, having fresh flowers in the home and playing music with a high vibration ( such as Deva Premal ) and having salt lamps throughout your home, all contribute to a higher vibration.

So you have shifted all the energy in your home and your life is moving along nicely but lets just pause for a moment and think about the most intimate energetic connection that we make with people. We all know that when we end a relationship we need to clear out the energy of that person.  I know , for myself, whenever I ended a relationship I would get rid of all their things from my home, then get a haircut and reclaim my own space.

BUT we forget one important thing, our body, This is especially true for females as our physical being is literally entered by another person during the act of love making. Not to mention that our DNA's merge to produce any children that we may have.

This picture beautifully illustrates how our chakra systems align and merge during sex.

It is this energy that I am talking about that we need to cleanse and release from our energetic being.

I recently had a hysteroscopy which involves inserting a camera through the cervix into the womb. Prior to that I had several other invasive medical procedures. Women undergo these types of things regularly, throughout their lifetime.

The next time that I had sex with my husband after this procedure I had a momentary flash of the surgeon as my husband entered me and I burst into tears. A flood of other memories then came surging forward too.All the times in my life that I had felt violated in one way or another. I then spent the rest of the morning clearing out all these old stagnant energies and I realized just how much we store in our wombs,  cervix and vagina.

I have since read that the vagina is like a sponge for emotional debris that we don't know how to process. This then impacts on all levels of our sexuality and our sexual expression.

Think for a moment how many sexual partners that you have had in your lifetime. Now think of how many times you have had cervical smears or any other procedure that required something to be inserted into your vagina. Think back to when you first started menstruating and how you felt about tampons and bleeding.

I did a reiki session on a client who had been cheated on by her husband and as I was doing the session I very clearly got the image of a knife in her vagina which, to me, represented the hurt and betrayal that she had felt from this incident.

Reiki and EFT are two of the most powerful ways that I know to cleanse and clear old energies and often, uncover memories that we had hidden deep within us.
If you think you could benefit from an energetic cleanse contact me via my Facebook page