Everything Goddess -y

I have been immersed in Goddess -ness for the past few months.

Okay, years, but seriously who is counting?

I guess the focus has just ramped up a bit with the creation of my new website and the ongoing birthing of my new program Awaken Your Inner Goddess.

Creating the course has been so much fun   ( why didn't anyone tell me that creating an online course was FUN!). There have been days where I have tried ( and failed) to create videos: forgot to turn the microphone on, didn't like what I was wearing, forgot what I was talking about or the phone rang in the middle of recording.

There have been days where I was creating audios only to stumble over the words at the end or lose track of where I was in the script or had to fight off an overwhelming urge to cough.

The housework has been left undone ( okay this happens on a regular basis but this time I had an excuse)

But mostly I had FUN! ( in fact at the end of one recording session I said "Goodie, goodie, goodie" I may have even done the happy clapping thing I do - and then I realised that I hadn't turned off the recording - I left it in anyway because we all need more happy, clappy moments)

I thought of how much I could have used this course when I was getting my  marriage ended and I thought I would never find love again...... and I know I'm not the only one

I thought of how much I could have used this course when I had forgotten who I was as I was lost amongst the mothering, stepmothering, wife-ing modes....and I know I'm not the only one.

I thought of how much I could have used this course when I turned 30 (and 40 and 50) and wondered if I was still hot and sexy.... and I know I'm not the only one.

I know that once I connected to my Goddess -ness things shifted in my life in lots of big and little ways .... and I know that will happen for you too.

I know that staying connected to my Goddess -ness helps me feel more like me every day..and I know that will happen for you too.

When I talk about connecting to your inner Goddess I am not talking about something fluffy and airy- fairy, all sunshine, Unicorns and rainbows. No, I am talking about peeling back the layers of shit that we all accumulate from years of listening to the "shoulds" and the "shouldn'ts" of being a female in this 21st century. The ideas that we have to look and behave in a certain way in order to be acceptable. Not to mention the stories that we are told as children that end with the Princess meeting the handsome Prince and living "happily ever after" though we have no clear idea of what that means but some how we still feel vaguely ripped off when the fairy tales don't match up to reality.

Our Inner Goddess is our most authentic self and reconnecting with her shifts everything. We begin to remember what our desires were before we were told what they "should" be. We begin to remember what our passions were before we were told that "nice girls" didn't have passions. We begin to remember who we were before we were taught to squash ourselves into some Barbie sized dream. Most importantly, we begin to feel FREE to be ourselves with all our quirks and idiosyncrasies. We start living a life that feels Fabulous because we are Fabulous.

Want to know more? Go check out my website. Act now while the early bird special is on! Only $150NZD until February 14

Hot Mess Sisterhood

Let's face it on any given day we can all be a bit of a hot mess.

i know that when I was growing up I thought that by the time I reached X age I would totally have all my shit together.

I am 53.

I am still waiting for that day.

The truth is we are all making it up as we go along.

When we were kids it looked  like all the adults knew what they were doing. They knew how to parent, drive a car, balance a checkbook, keep food on the table and keep their relationship going. To be honest my parents relationship didn't look that great so I was taking notes on "what I don't want in a relationship". Turns out I wasn't paying close enough attention  but that's a story for another day.

I left home at 18 and moved straight in with my boyfriend and thought that now I would have my shit together and begin to "adult". Boy, was I wrong. I went on to have kids and figured now I would know how to "adult". Nope, wrong again. Instead I suffered from post natal depression and our kindly doctor told us that I needed loving support from my husband. Instead I left him when my son was four months old.

We got back together but eventually I left him.

With two young kids I figured now I would begin to get my life sorted. Oh, how I laugh! Instead I got pregnant to my ex and then divorced.

I have just staggered from one cluster fuck to the next all in the guise of being an "adult" and "knowing what I am doing". I did make some smart moves though, namely meeting and marrying my current husband.

I am older and wiser now but life can still knock you sideways which is what happened to me a few years back when I went through a complete nervous breakdown. And just like Brene Brown's therapist I call it a Spiritual Awakening ( watch until the 11 minute mark to get the reference).

I dissolved into a heap. I didn't function. I went on antidepressants which is so against everything I believed up until that point.

This wasn't supposed to happen to me. I am a therapist. I am the one that helps people and here I was, not even able to help myself. It took me a long time to pull myself back together and it took lots of self care, lots of unending support from my beloved husband and time, lots of time.

Then it became my dirty, little secret. I felt like a fraud helping people when I had fallen apart so spectacularly. I didn't want to share about it. I didn't want to blog about it (although the nudge to do so has been there for a long time) I kept it to myself.

So why am I sharing it now?

Because we all have crap days.

Because talking about our shit, heals our shit.

Because I want you to know that I know.  I know what it is like to fall apart. I know what it is like to struggle. To struggle with being a Mum and wondering if you are doing a good job . To struggle with the idea of leaving and "what will that do to the kids?" . To struggle with an inopportune pregnancy and weigh all of that up. To struggle with starting anew relationship when there are kids involved.

Because I survived it all and thrived and I know you can too.

Because putting all my cards on the table feels real and raw and vulnerable and powerful and empowering all at the same time.

Because reclaiming myself as a Sex Goddess and stepping fully into my authenticity is just how I roll.


Want to join me? Check out my book "The Goddess Guide to Sex, Love and Life"

Or come join me over at Awaken Your Inner Goddess Facebook group