Things I love about my body

I have been immersed in my Love Your Body program; busily listing why you should love all the  parts of your body, creating meditations to help you love your body, recording EFT ( tapping) audios to help you love your body and researching the benefits of positive thinking and affirmations on your body.

I've been reading positive body image blogs and joining Facebook pages that promote body love.

One of those pages, The Militant Baker is holding a Body Love conference next year which will be AWESOME!! She posted a Crowdfunding video this morning ( go check it out on her page) or better yet go donate some money to get this conference happening

IT all got me thinking about my own awesome, beautiful body so I thought I would share with you some of the things that I love about my body.

(1) I love my hair.
I started going grey in when I got divorced, had a baby and met the love of my life all in the same year. Now you have to understand that I have a cow's lick and if you don't know what that is consider yourself blessed by the Hair Fairy and move on. And that is where the first few grey hairs popped up, right at the front of my hair.

So I did what any sane 30 year old does - I went straight to the hairdresser and got her to dye my hair black ( I was already dark, dark brown) , except for the piece of hair at the front, that we dyed platinum blonde. Result? Sheer awesomeness!

I only did it the once though because frankly, life is too short to sit around waiting for your hair to change color ( but that's just me).

Now my hair is a mix of grey, white and the remnants of dark brown and I still love it. My silver highlights are taking over and I'm okay with that.

(2) I love my hands.
If you know me you know that they are usually festooned with as many large rings as I can comfortably wear on them at any one time.

I'm still looking for the perfect thumb ring.

And no, you cannot have too many rings. Ever.

(3) I love my breasts, always have.

They are not as pert as they once were. I remember my sister and I worrying about the pencil test when we barely had boobs. The pencil test, for those of you that don't know, is whether you can hold a pencil under your breast, if you can your breasts are too saggy.

Mine are now at the point that I could probably hold a whole pencil case under there quite happily. And you know what? I'm okay with that too. These breasts have fed three babies, I've lost count of the times my babies fell asleep sucking and all the hours I nursed them to make them feel better or cam them down.
In the right bra they still look magnificent.

(4) I love my face.

Artist unknown but I adore this pic

Complete with eyes that shine, a mouth that smiles and the odd wrinkle to show that I have lived.

(5) I love my butt.

Curved just right, not too big and fills out my jeans just nicely thank you very much.

(6) I love my big, soft belly.

It is soft and jiggly and bears the scars of stretch-marks from my babies and surgery (so I don't have any more babies!!)

(7) I love my arms.

For all encompassing hugs and with all my soft jiggly boobs and belly, I give great hugs.

(8) I love my legs.

They reach all the way from the ground right up to the curve of my arse - perfect. I used to get teased about how skinny they were but I still loved them even then. Yes, my thighs touch but my knees are not knobbly and these legs carry me through my days.


I could go on and on because, lets face it, my body is pretty damn spectacular....... and so is yours.

If you are struggling with body issues then sign up  for my newsletter (Click the link on the sidebar at the top of the page) to find out all the details of the Love Your Body program and how you can get your hands on it.

So tell me what parts of your body do you love?

How to fall madly, deeply, passionately in love with your self every day

Last week I wrote about falling in love with your partner as it has been a bit of a love fest at my house for a while now. And falling in love with your partner is great.

Much of the time we protest that relationships are hard work.

That we have to take the time and consciously put effort into keeping love, passion and sex alive in our relationship.

The truth is  relationships with others are easy.

Sure we have days where the sound of our partner's voice is like nails on a blackboard ( for those of you young folk its not a great sound. Google it. I'm sure somewhere there is a Youtube video of someone demonstrating it - pause while I check Yup! Here you go )

But most of the time it only takes a few minutes for us to remember that time he brought us flowers...... he had picked himself.... for you ( yes my honey did that for me recently!) or that text he sent that says"Yr my drm boat" ( another gem from my honey!) and we go all mooshy and squishy inside and sigh and feel waves of love swirl around us like moonbeams on a dark night.

EASY.

EFFORTLESS.

There we are back in love with our dreamboat.

No, what is hard is falling in love with yourself, over and over again.

Forgiving yourself for the stupid things you have said or done.

Loving yourself  in spite of the fact that you are 20 pounds overweight and haven't exercised for months.

Loving yourself even when your hair just won't sit right dammit!

Loving yourself  when you opened your mouth and something stupid, hurtful and even as you say it you wish you could take it back but you can't.

Loving yourself even when it feels like nothing is going right in your life right now , in fact it's just one giant suckfest and then the car breaks down or the vacuum cleaner packs up when you haven't vacuumed for weeks and you have people coming over in, like, five minutes. ( that happens to you too right?). Or you have just lost your job and have no idea how you are going to get another one.

Loving yourself is something that we all pay lip service too.

Then we fall into the trap of beating ourselves up....... because we ate cake.

Or we put ourselves down  for not exercising this week ( month, year!)

Or we lie in bed going over all the stupid things we have done for the past week ( month, year, decade!)

Or we obsess over the kilo ( or two, three, five) we have gained. And then we go on ( yet another) diet and then beat ourselves up for failing at that too.

And so starts the never ending loop of just not being, quite good enough.

We measure ourselves against the latest "it"celebrity/model/pop singer. We look at their skinny bodies in all the magazines and wonder why we can't look like that 24/7. Forgetting that they have (a) a stylist (b) a personal trainer (c) a nanny to look after the kids and (d) a chef to cook for them or at least a nutritionist to help them.

So how do we just STOP the endless diatribe against ourselves and START  truly, madly, deeply loving ourselves?

I Love YOU!

Just like in last weeks article.

We start by looking ourselves in the eye as we wash our face, apply our makeup and any other chance we get and say, out loud "I Love you. You are awesome and beautiful and talented and I just wanted you to know how much I love you."

Yup all of that, while making eye contact.
By telling your self how much you love you , you start to reconnect to your own innate wisdom and self belief and you stop looking for outside validation.

I value my.....

Start each day by writing down a minimum of three things that you value about yourself. I do this at the same time as I do my gratitude journal.

This practice helps reaffirm that who you are has inherent value and worth, because you do.

We tend to think that who we are is represented by our bodies but as all the great teachers tell us "You are not your body. You have a body but you are not your body" take a moment to think about that.

Gratitude

Give thanks for all the things that you have present in your life and all the fun stuff that you get to do. Far too many of us move through our day taking it for granted but life is precious and taking a moment to give thanks for your body; your sense of smell, the things you can taste or hear or touch, the fact that you have two functional legs and can run and jump and walk wherever you want to go, these things are a blessing.

Just ask someone who can no longer do those things.

Get up, dress up, show up

 I work from home and it would be super easy to never get out of my pj's but guess what? Yup every day I get up, dress up and show up just like I am off to work... because I am.

I wear matching underwear ( if you're a guy you probably don't realize how great this makes us girls feel) and I dress as if I am off to work including  jewelery and accessories. I don't necessarily wear make up because that is a some days yes, some days no thing for me but I always make an effort with how I look REGARDLESS of whether I am leaving the house or not.

Why?

Because it makes me feel great.

I don't have outfits that I wear om "special "occasions because being alive is a special occasion.

So get up, dress up and show up for your life


 I am launching my

 LOVE YOUR BODY REVOLUTION program soon.

 Sign up for my newsletter for all the details of when it's coming.


 In the meantime here's a wee taster of what is coming.

  .Love your body audio Free Gift






Leave me a comment with one thing you are grateful for about your body. I'd love to hear from you or come join me on my Facebook page

How to love your life

When you read the average magazine you soon discover that you are broken.

You discover that who you are and how you look is not enough.

Your hair is not straight enough or the right colour or glossy enough compared to the women in the adverts.

Your body is not tall enough or thin enough.

You didn't bounce back to your pre baby weight within days of giving birth like all the movie stars and models did.

Your life isn't unfolding into one glorious , joy filled, panorama, full of endless close family gatherings at which everyone is deliriously happy,. It is not an endless round of happy coffee outings with half a dozen of your best friends because in reality you only have one or two close friends.

You are not having wave after wave of orgasmic sex with your husband night after night because frankly you are too tired.

Your home does not look like the pages of magazine either.

So you try a little harder, you work out more, you eat better, you clean the house and straighten your hair. You read all the self help books and the articles in the magazine. You buy all the right products. You attend seminars and courses.

But nothing seems to work. Somehow you still feel like things are just not quite "right" and you don't know why.There is even a name for it now "the Goldilocks Effect" or trying to be "just right".


We all seem to be round pegs trying to fit into a very square hole. An unattainable square hole called "perfection". an unattainable square hole shaped by photoshop and unrealistic ideas of what beauty actually is.

And here is the thing that we have all forgotten.


The one thing that if you take the time to remember it and use it everyday will transform your life.

Are you ready?

You are not broken.

There is nothing about you that needs to be fixed because you never were broken.

Now I am not saying that we shouldn't exercise or eat right or maintain our bodies. No, what I am saying is that it is time for us to try loving ourselves as we are  right now, today!

We have tried (and tried and tried and tried!) to fit ourselves into the acceptable image that the media, society and everyone else constantly shoves down our throats. We have tried to be "normal" but more and more  we are realizing that "normal" isn't who we are.

Most of the people I know are rebels, idealists, dreamers, creatives and "normal"just is not their frame of reference. Our society has become so homogenized and bland that we have forgotten who we are and who we want to be.

What I am suggesting is that we start a movement towards self love. That we stop feeling like we have to conform, to squeeze our self into the prescribed image  that society has laid down for us. That we get in touch with our own bodies and figure out what works for it best. That we stop comparing ourselves to the stick thin models on the runway and realize that they were blessed with exceptional genes that we do not posses. That we wake up to the photshopping and retouching that goes on in print media so that what gets printed is not even remotely like the model or actress that stood before the camera.

Let's take a collective deep breath and honour who we are. We have value far beyond just our looks so let's stop obsessing over every pound ( or gram or whatever measurement your country uses to keep track of your weight) we lose or gain. stop obsessing over what size clothes we fit into. I know America has an adult size 0 but frankly I still believe that size is for babies and that is all. And let's face it every brand has a slightly different version of any so called standard size..

I see far too many truly, beautiful women who do not get naked with their husbands or who are constantly trying to lose weight to measure up to some ideal version of themselves. Too many of us have given up on showing up in the world because of the opinions of others and it has to stop.


I am currently creating a LOVE YOUR BODY program complete with workbook, gratitude journal and meditations to help you learn to love every aspect of your body. Sign up for my FREE monthly newsletter for all the latest info and helpful hints for loving your body today. Click the highlighted link for the sing up form
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Self Care

Today has been one of those days.

I got up nice and early and headed to the computer to check out a few things and before I knew it  it was 1:30 in the afternoon and I still wasn't dressed.

I had however updated my facebook page, answered emails, done two meditations after listening to some inspirational speakers on the Hay House Summit, eaten breakfast and read several articles relating to social media and how to maximize it for my business.

What I hadn't done was take the time to fully care for my self.

I had been solely focused on my business.

I hadn't taken the time to shower and dress which is a morning ritual. I have my vision board on the outside of my glass shower to focus my mind on all my goals, personal and business.

I hadn't taken the time over breakfast to think about what I would write in my gratitude journal so that hadn't been done either.

I hadn't taken the time to do reiki on myself before I even got out of bed.

I had walked outside and fed our chickens and spent a few moments connecting with nature.

I had picked some mandarins off our trees to have with my breakfast.

But suddenly it was 1:30 and the day seemed to have slipped away from me. I know that my rituals  help to focus me and feed a deeper connection to Spirit that I need for my work to flow smoothly . I also know that this is not the end of the world and that tomorrow is a brand new day for me to embark on.

I also know that self care is vital  for mental, emotional and spiritual wellbeing. So tonight I will be running a bath and taking a long, deep soak with Epsom salts to ease the tension that always seems to end up in my shoulders. I will bring out my gratitude journal and write about all the great things that have happened today and all the mundane, simple things for which I am eternally grateful. I will spend some time connecting with my darling husband for her grounds me and gets me out of my head like no-one else can.

And as I drift off to sleep tonight I will give myself some reiki and do some EFT to clear up any negative energy patterns that I may be berating myself with.


Do you have any rituals that you do daily? What helps keeping you on track?
Leave a comment below.

Life interrupted

You know how it is ; one minute your life is sailing along and the next you somehow get derailed, shunted sideways by life and you are no longer sure of which way is up.

That's what has happened to me.

somehow or other I lost my footing on my path and took a tumble. While I was down there I started questioning what the hell it was that I was even doing? Why did I write my blog? Why did I have a Facebook page? Why did I feel an overwhelming urge to share all the ins and outs of my life with you, the faceless readers? Why? Why?
 And I found I didn't have a decent reason to.

So I stopped.

I shut down my business.

I closed my Facebook page.

I logged out of Linked In.

I kept Twitter and Google+ ( mainly because I forgot I had it LOL) and I kept my blog. Only I didn't really post anymore - just sporadic bursts of indignation that the world had not healed itself yet goddammit! and why were we still being so vile to one another??

During all this time I have taken a wander deep, deep, deep ( yup that deep!) into myself.

I did a 21 day mantra meditation journey with Deva Premal because chanting always grounds me. In fact I'm listening to mantras on Grooveshark as I'm writing this.

I have returned to my gratitude journal to give daily thanks for everything in my life; the good , the bad and the ugly  as it were.

I have practised daily EFT as I go to sleep and as I awake every morning and night for weeks.

I have  read and read and read some more.
I have blobbed out in front of mindless television,  watching all the episodes of Game of Thrones and Breaking Bad back to back.
I have practiced hoóponopono for anything and everything that you can imagine.
I have given myself daily Reiki sessions.

And I still feel broken, lost and confused.

Until last night.

I have taken a part time job working night shift at a small kiwifruit lab. I have made a few friends and one of them asked me a few days ago why and how I always stayed positive. she sees me as the woman who always has a smile on her face and who is always upbeat ( ahhh the masks that we wear)  So I shared with her some of the things that I have been doing ( listed above) and suggested that she think of 5 things that she could be grateful for and a few other simple suggestions.

Last night she thanked me for helping her and when I shared that this was the work I had been doing before starting at the lab she said "Well you are really good at it and you should go back to it"

Now I had spent the night doing my work and asking the angels for guidance, for some sign of what my next step should be.

Do you think I got my answer? I do.

So I have decided I am going to start, gently easing myself back into........ something.

I have a passion for helping woman feel comfortable with their bodies the way that they are now. You see often we get the "I"ll be happy when"syndrome : I'll be happy when I lose  x number of pounds/kilos, I'll be happy when I can fit into a size...., I'll be happy when I get the perfect haircut, I'll be happy when  I have bigger/smaller breasts, I'll be happy when ...... and the list never ends..... and we never realise that we get to choose to be happy now.

 I am passionate about making the world a better place to live by showing people how to love themselves first and foremost because in loving yourself and having compassion for all the fuck ups that you make in your own life you will have so much more compassion for everyone else that you ever come in contact with. In my work I have found that the person most people struggle to forgive the most is not the person who inflicted incredible pain on them; no, they struggle most in forgiving themselves. I know that this has been what I am struggling with and the more that I forgive myself the happier I am with my life.

I am passionate about writing.

I am passionate about having the best, juiciest relationship int he world and helping others to achieve a deep level of intimacy that they may not have reached before. I believe that we connect with each other on a primal level when we engage in sex and sometime those "hooks"need to be released from past sexual encounters so that we can move into a deeper connection with the person in front of us now. Sexual wounding happens to all of us from time to time but we tend to push it down or deny to our selves that it ever took place and by doing this we shut off part of our sexual juice.

I could go on .... and on but somehow I am going to pull all the threads of my passions into SOMETHING. So brace yourself World, I'm back on track and with a firmer grasp of who I am and what my purpose is.

Wish me luck xx

My embarrassing body

I was a skinny girl and grew into a skinny women. Was I happy? No. I always felt that I was too skinny or, even when I was skinny I somehow felt fat.
I have spent my life, like most women, obsessing over my body. Trying to make it fit some perceived ideal in my mind.

Image by Sue Fitzmaurice

When I lay on the beach I would flip onto my stomach if anyone approached as I felt my ribs and hips stuck out too much.
I wanted my calves to be fatter so they would fill out boots better.

Then I had kids and I still wasn't happy with the way I looked. My tummy was now more squishy and my husband wanted me to look like I had before, even though I was still far from fat. He nagged just as my father had nagged my mother.

We moved to a new town and were now living closer to some old friends of his. He was biker and she was small, blond and petite. Next to her I felt ungainly and huge ( I wasn't). I am tall with broad shoulders, more of an Amazon than a Barbie. It didn't help that my (ex) husband and his mate would constantly make comments on my figure, how hot I would look if only I took better care of myself. It didn't stop his mate from constantly hitting on me though.

I finally left him only to get pregnant to him a couple of years later ( long story!) . Then I had my son, had a tubal ligation ( not letting THAT happen again!), turned thirty, got divorced and started dating the love of my life.
The weight fell off me at this point and I finally felt sexy, hot and fabulous. Although when I look at  photos of me then I was waaaayyyyy too thin. My hair also started falling out from all the stress and I ended up having to bottle feed my boy from about 3 months as my milk dried up.

 Two months later all the weight I lost started piling on. I went to the doctor feeling like my body was out of whack but was told everything was normal. Since then my weight has continued to climb. I have had numerous visits to doctors, always to be told the same thing, everything is normal.

It took me a long time to adjust to being a fat girl after years of being underweight, the image in my head was still a skinny girl.

My husband loves me regardless of my size. He has seen me fat and thin and everything in between. What he loves about me has nothing to do with the way I look and everything to do with who I am. When I see myself through his eyes I realize that I am beautiful, talented, loving and compassionate.

Quote by J K Rowling

I am much more than my body, My size is irrelevant, what matters most is what comes from my heart.

I am learning to love my body. Some days are easier than others. When I take the time to remember all that my body does for me it is far easier to love it.

Every day we are bombarded with images of stick thin models and actresses. They are photoshopped to within an inch of their live so that it no longer even resembles the person in real life.The actresses are on constant diets and exercise regimes to maintain their image and are mocked for looking anything less than stellar in any photos, whether they are walking the red carpet or hanging out at the beach. Julia Roberts is famous for saying even she doesn't look like Julia Roberts when she wakes up in the morning.

I would like to start a love your body revolution. For the next month make a pledge to greet yourself each morning as you look in the mirror by saying "Good morning Gorgeous. I Love you. Have a great day." It will seem strange at first but stick with it and say it like you mean it. Leave me a comment to let me know how you get on and to say you have taken the pledge.