Losing my libido!

We've all had times when our sex drive seems to have disappeared over the horizon never to be seen again.

Our sex drive is like the ocean. It ebbs and flows. Sometimes you and your darling are going at it like rabbits and then , for some inexplicable reason, something changes and days go by with barely a flicker of lust in either of you.


Unfortunately for some people  the drought never seems to break and before they know it, weeks, months and even years have slipped by.

What can you do to bring some life back into your sex life?

How do you reboot your libido?

First of all realise it happens to everyone, every now and then

Secondly realise that its not the end of the world and know that the fact you have noticed means that there must be some spark still there.

Thirdly ask how you got so busy that sex became something that you just let slide? There could be deeper things happening in your relationship if it has been months or years since you connected.

So how do you keep the spark alive?

Just like anything else it takes commitment and time and effort. Consistency is the key. It is always easier to keep something going than to reboot it from scratch.

Text, call or make a small gesture EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. To show your partner how much they men to you.

Talk. Not just in generalities "Hi honey how was your day?" but "what did you learn today? " 

Listen. Really listen. Connect with your eyes and give your partner your complete attention.

Touch. Touch their hand, their butt, stroke their back as you pass by. Massage their feet. Stroke their hair.


Hubby and I just had five days away from home to go and visit our new grandson. Its a seven hour drive to where my son lives so we had lots of time to talk in the car.

As we were staying at a motel we decided to play one of our favorite games: "Talk dirty to me". The basis of this game is to drive each other to distraction during the trip so that by the time we get to our destination we are primed and ready to go!

It also gives us great memories to use for more sex  play. We can just mention a road trip or a destination and we are instantly on the same wavelength and people around us are completely oblivious of the undercurrent between us.

Relationships require maintenance, just like a car or any other machinery.  And just like a car, if you hit a rough patch, take it in for a check up with an expert here. The trouble is we have all been fed the ".... and they both lived happily ever after." line and when things get rough we assume its because the relationship is broken beyond repair or "She/he doesn't love me anymore" . In actual fact you and your partner have just got lazy, have stopped doing routine maintenance on your relationship and hoped that it would look after itself.

NEWSFLASH! Relationships require regular check ups. If you want to keep the romance alive, keep fanning the flame. Don't wait until the embers have gone cold and then wonder what happened.

What fuel can you add to your fire today?

What is one small romantic gesture that you can make to your partner that will convey "You are sexy and hot and I want to do naughty things to you?"

What are your favourite ways to keep romance alive?  Leave me a comment . I would love to hear from you.

Lets talk about sex...

I don't know about you but I want hot, juicy,noisy, passionate sex not bland "quiet so we don't wake the kids"sex.

I want can't quite catch my breath, ecstatic sex.

I want to meet my partner completely open, open and free from inhibitions and be met the same way.

I want long, slow languorous sex that leave my knees quivering and my body spent.

I want hot, hard lusty sex.

I want soft, melding, melting into each others bodies sex.

I want my husband to know which kind of sex I want just by looking deeply into my eyes.

Yeah, right! That ain't going to happen.

BUT....... if I can open myself fully into the present moment, drop my guards and ....... just tell him? Ahhh that's a different story.

Then the magic can happen...... and does!

So how do we get to that magical place of feeling comfortable enough to say "that's too hard...... don't stop baby.... just a bit longer  ..... oooohhh just over there a bit more." ?

First we have to KNOW what it is that we like and the best way to do that is via the "m"word. Yes masturbation is your best friend. How can anyone else know how your body works if you have no clue? Get comfy with your own body, find the strokes that you like, the pace that you like, the amount of lube you like.

Second, realise that your partner WANTS to please you. They want to do all that they can in anyway that they can to bring you to ecstasy so it would be kind of rude to have that information and not tell them...... wouldn't it?

Thirdly, ask them what they like and then ( if its in the realms of possibility for you) do it for them!


The only way any of us gets better at sex is through communication. If we can be open with our partners on this level it will create a bond of mutual trust and respect that will move well past the bedroom walls. Our whole relationship will deepen.

Talking about sex doesn't have to be hard and talking during sex should almost be compulsory. Men are visual creatures but women create pictures in our minds with words. Start talking  sexy to us and we will start to go weak at  the knees.

There are two rules for great sexy talk;    Song Lets talk about sex
(1) Leave your inhibitions at the bedroom door
and
(2) Be your sexy, erotic self.

That's it. If you start getting into your head "What will they think? Am I going too far? Will she think I'm a pervert? " you will suck all the fun out of it.

Sure the first few times you try you both might get a fit of the giggles but once you find your own inner sexy beast there will be no holding you back.

Just as you guys get turned on by our ooohhs and ahhs we get turned on by hearing you tell us all the delicious things you want to do to us.

Good sex becomes great sex when you both know what the other likes through good communication. Great sex become mind blowingly great sex when sex talk becomes part of the mix and moans of ecstasy are loud enough to wake the neighbours.

If you are looking for some inspiration check out Ear Erotica here