Sacred Sex Part 3

Claiming your identity as a Sex Goddess comes down to two things: (1) body confidence and (2) deciding that you are.

For me these two things were intertwined.

 I guess it really started when I left my first husband at the age of 27. I had two young kids (4 and 6 at the time) and, even though I was having an affair at the time, I still felt very self-conscious and “who would want me now”.  I was tall and slender but still felt fat. My ex-husband and I had hung out with another couple, friends of his for years, and she was dainty and petite and blonde and I felt completely ungainly and fat in comparison.

After a few months of being separated I had found a great bunch of friends who valued me for myself and not as part of a couple. One of them was a cool guy who was also a photographer and one day, out of the blue he asked if I would pose nude for him as he wanted to develop that side of his craft. Even though it made me feel sick to my stomach I said yes….. and then wondered what the hell I had got myself into.

It was one of the most liberating experiences ever. I turned up, with a bottle of wine for Dutch courage and we got started. The defining moment was when I saw his hands shaking as he set up the camera and I realised in that moment that he was just as scared as I was and so I relaxed.

At the end of the shoot I felt FABULOUS! Imagine a man spending the whole day focused totally on YOU and you will get the idea.

Jump ahead  a few years …….. and a few more!  Now I am no longer the slender girl but a voluptuous woman with 3 children of my own, 4 step daughters and ……wait for it grandchildren but still only in my 40’s. EEEk! So while off on a naughty weekend with my darling I go shopping for a gorgeous sexy bra. The woman in the lingerie shop is showing my dull, boring grandma bras UNTIL I said to her “I am a sex goddess and I want something gorgeous not Nanaish and not beige.” What possessed me I don’t know! But I left that shop with gorgeous underwear and a new sense of who I was.

I hope you are getting the idea.

NOBODY is going to come along and anoint you as a Sex Goddess. No mystical fairy with a golden wand is going to say “From this day forward you….. (Insert name here) are a Sex Goddess!” Nope it ain’t going to happen .

But you get to CLAIM it for yourself. Draw yourself up to your full height, take a deep breath in , draw your shoulders back , thrust your breasts out  and declare it: “I am a SEX GODDESS! I know what I want and I am not afraid to ask for it.”

Feel it in the very depths of your being. Keep repeating it until it resonates from within you.

Now as I said at the beginning feeling confident in your own skin is a BIG part of being a Sex Goddess. My naked photo shoot went a long way to making me feel good about myself . The next part came when my very own Gok Wan moment happened. I have a gay friend and at that time he owned a women’s boutique and held fashion shows in our town as his alter ego Crystal Chandelier.

People came from everywhere to watch his shows and the tickets sold out in days.  At least 300 people per event. You guessed it he asked me to model. Up until then all his models had ben dainty, slim women and then he asked me. By this stage I was well into being a grandma and my youngest son was 14. Again I said yes and panicked later. (Are you starting to see a pattern? Take the plunge!)

Walking down that catwalk in front of 300 people was one of the best things I’ve ever done.  My friend put me in clothes I would never have worn and I looked good. The funny thing was women much younger and slimmer came up to me afterwards and told me how brave I was for doing it as they would never have had the confidence to do it.

All those women that you are comparing yourself to? They feel just as insecure as you do!  Even Julia Roberts has parts of her body she doesn’t like. Everybody does.

But when you show up, naked in a mans bed all that is going through his mind is “I’ve got a naked women in my bed!” That’s it!

He is not looking at the cellulite or the jiggly bits. No, he is just happy because he is going to have sex. With you!

Seriously, start getting comfortable being naked and loving your body. Your man does.

 And if you don’t have a man yet? Once you start oozing sex goddess energy and body confidence the men will come running.

Next episode:  Cosmic Kissing coming soon!