10 Things Men Find Unattractive -Um, maybe

Last week I read an article called 10 Things Men Find Unattractive  and I am here to call BULLSHIT!

anyone that writes knows that lists, ahh lists, we all love a good list and people will click through to find out just what is on that list. But here is the thing - lists are like this one are full of shit.

Some men may find some of these things unattractive and others won't mind them at all. The trouble with broad, sweeping generalisations is that they are well, broad ans you know, sweeping and give us the idea that EVERY MAN on the planet will find these things ( and therefore you) UNATTRACTIVE.

And we all know that the worse thing a woman can be is UNATTRACTIVE, right?

(And can we just pause for a moment and discuss the opening paragraph on this article? All women love to gossip - seriously? They talked to every woman on the planet? Come on! Some of us much prefer deep, meaningful, philosophical shit instead of trite gossip but lets move on)

So here's my list :

5 things (some, maybe a few ) Men might find Unattractive

(1) Obsessing over our image

The men I know love a woman who is confident in herself and comfortable in her own skin not constantly seeking reassurance that she looks good in the outfit that she has on or spending time checking herself in the mirror

(2) A Selfie Junkie

Yes, you look adorable now please put the phone away and talk to the person that is in front of you. Every aspect of our lives does not need to be captured on the ubiquitous cell phone and no-one is interested in the food you are eating. Just stop.

(3) Being Unkind

Kindness costs nothing . At the same time it can make a huge impact on someone else's life - so can being unkind. Please and thank you are used so seldom today they are almost like  super powers. Try it out - kindness may just work for you.

(4) Lateness

I get it. We are all busy. Making an effort to be considerate of others time is also a kind of super power that should be flexed often. No-one likes hanging around waiting. No-one. It might be forgivable once, maybe twice but if it is becomes a habit it is just disrespectful.

(5) Obsessing over food

We all need to eat. Believe or not men know that we get hungry and that we need to eat - so eat. And while you are eating don't be making comments on "how you really shouldn't" or "just a tiny bit" or " this will go straight to my ass/belly/thighs" . Just eat and enjoy.

What have I been up to?

 You may have noticed I'm not posting here as much.

Do not despair!

 I am still around , still writing , just posting in different places.

Yesterday I started writing this piece for my new website ( you should definitely go check it out!)

 Daily Self Love

Self love is a daily requirement. Just like we need to shower, brush our teeth, make healthy food choices and exercise, we need to work self love into our daily lives. The trouble is that we think that by doing the things listed before that we are loving ourselves and while they are certainly part of the equation, they are definitely not the whole story.

The whole story is being gentle with yourself on the rough days. The days when life is dragging you down and you are not sure if you want to get back up and instead of berating yourself or eating a tub of ice cream or listening to the voice in  your head that tells you all the reasons that you are worthless and a failure you choose to get up, look yourself in the eye and say “It’s okay, babe, you got this.”

The whole story is talking nicely to yourself to drown out the Negative Nelly in your head so that the bitch sits down and shuts the fuck up so you can carry on with your day.

Click on the link below to read more

http://www.caitlingraceauthor.com/blog/daily-self-love/

 Or you hop over here and read my latest post for The Huffington Post

 Divorce: 22 years later 

I divorced my first husband 22 years ago.


This weekend I just had him, his new wife and my ex mother-in-law over for an extended family get together and it was lovely. There were no big dramas other than 2-year-old teething tantrums from my granddaughter and squawks from the 4-month-old twin granddaughters. In fact it was the best family gathering I have had in my home for a long while.
Click the link to read more
 http://www.huffingtonpost.com/caitlin-grace/divorce-22-years-later_b_9214442.html 

 

Everything Goddess -y

I have been immersed in Goddess -ness for the past few months.

Okay, years, but seriously who is counting?

I guess the focus has just ramped up a bit with the creation of my new website and the ongoing birthing of my new program Awaken Your Inner Goddess.

Creating the course has been so much fun   ( why didn't anyone tell me that creating an online course was FUN!). There have been days where I have tried ( and failed) to create videos: forgot to turn the microphone on, didn't like what I was wearing, forgot what I was talking about or the phone rang in the middle of recording.

There have been days where I was creating audios only to stumble over the words at the end or lose track of where I was in the script or had to fight off an overwhelming urge to cough.

The housework has been left undone ( okay this happens on a regular basis but this time I had an excuse)

But mostly I had FUN! ( in fact at the end of one recording session I said "Goodie, goodie, goodie" I may have even done the happy clapping thing I do - and then I realised that I hadn't turned off the recording - I left it in anyway because we all need more happy, clappy moments)

I thought of how much I could have used this course when I was getting my  marriage ended and I thought I would never find love again...... and I know I'm not the only one

I thought of how much I could have used this course when I had forgotten who I was as I was lost amongst the mothering, stepmothering, wife-ing modes....and I know I'm not the only one.

I thought of how much I could have used this course when I turned 30 (and 40 and 50) and wondered if I was still hot and sexy.... and I know I'm not the only one.

I know that once I connected to my Goddess -ness things shifted in my life in lots of big and little ways .... and I know that will happen for you too.

I know that staying connected to my Goddess -ness helps me feel more like me every day..and I know that will happen for you too.

When I talk about connecting to your inner Goddess I am not talking about something fluffy and airy- fairy, all sunshine, Unicorns and rainbows. No, I am talking about peeling back the layers of shit that we all accumulate from years of listening to the "shoulds" and the "shouldn'ts" of being a female in this 21st century. The ideas that we have to look and behave in a certain way in order to be acceptable. Not to mention the stories that we are told as children that end with the Princess meeting the handsome Prince and living "happily ever after" though we have no clear idea of what that means but some how we still feel vaguely ripped off when the fairy tales don't match up to reality.

Our Inner Goddess is our most authentic self and reconnecting with her shifts everything. We begin to remember what our desires were before we were told what they "should" be. We begin to remember what our passions were before we were told that "nice girls" didn't have passions. We begin to remember who we were before we were taught to squash ourselves into some Barbie sized dream. Most importantly, we begin to feel FREE to be ourselves with all our quirks and idiosyncrasies. We start living a life that feels Fabulous because we are Fabulous.

Want to know more? Go check out my website. Act now while the early bird special is on! Only $150NZD until February 14