Where the hell is my Prince?

I can hear my Inner Child sulking from here

If you are anything like me then you were raised on the idea that one day a man in shining armor was going to come and rescue you from your life of drudgery and whisk you away to a life of luxury. Now we all realize as adults that this is pure fantasy but our inner child still firmly believes it and is waiting patiently for the day that all her dreams will come true. Our adult, rational mind sets about creating a life for herself, working hard, doing all the right things but somewhere deep, deep inside a small voice can be heard asking  “ Where is my prince?”  or if you are married already the voice wants to know “ where is my life of luxury? Why isn’t my prince providing me with all the luxury that I deserve?” ( I know, such a first world problem *rolling my eyes* )

I know because I’ve been there. It just recently dawned on me that, even though I am strong capable woman with her own business, part of me is still waiting ( and secretly) hoping that my Prince will provide me with the life I feel that I deserve. I have to say it came as a bit of a shock as I have always considered myself a very independent woman but here I was getting frustrated that my life hadn’t panned out quite as I expected and blaming my husband for all the perceived lack.

Fairy-tales have a lot to answer for

Then I took a deep breath and started to delve a little deeper into my psyche and realized that its hardly surprising given the range of fairy tales that we were all fed as impressionable young girls. How entranced we were by tales of Sleeping Beauty or Snow White. One day our prince would come too! We just had to be patient. And then along comes books like " Fifty Shades of Grey" which is a modern day fairytale for grown ups ( Okay, all you feminist ladies can stop rolling your eyes and gnashing your teeth! I bet if you look deeply enough you will find a faint glimmer of the inner child wailing for her prince too - I said deeply, ladies, look deeper. NO? Well its just me then)

So here I am at 52, admittedly with my handsome prince, but still feeling like he should be doing more to make me happy.  Where was my life of luxury?  Why wasn’t I showered with gifts regularly? After a few thoughts like that I started asking myself  “ Why was I waiting for him to provide it for me? What was stopping me from doing it for myself? That is when I realized that I had to let my inner child know that she was more powerful than she realized and she didn’t need to wait for any man to save for in reality only she can save her self.

Acknowledging that you are "waiting"is half the battle

Now that I have acknowledged my inner child’s longing I can go about making her feel safe and strong using EFT and meditation.

Some people are never going to admit, even if only to themselves, that this is a problem that they have. I must admit I didn't want to admit it. I have always been independent. When I became a solo mum I felt kind of proud of how well I coped. I kept food on the table, the mortgage paid and the kids fed and clothed. In fact when my ( now) hubby came along I was all "I've got this covered. I don't need a man" which is ridiculous. I was right  I didn't need  a man but I sure as hell wanted one.

So where do we go from here?

Like I said before it is about letting your inner child know that she is capable of doing anything and everything that she wants to do. A lot of us have baggage from when we were kids. Maybe we didn't feel loved enough or listened too or valued.

That was then, this is now and it's not too late for your inner child to hear what she needs to hear and feel.

Here's an EFT script you can try:

Karate chop: Even though my inner child is waiting for a Prince to come and "save"her I love and accept all aspects of myself and forgive myself for holding this so long. Even though my inner child would like things to be different I love and accept my life exactly as it is right now and I forgive my inner child and love and accept her.

EB: My inner child wants to know where her prince is

SE: I know that I am capable of looking after both of us

UE: I am willing to let my inner child know that she is loved and cared for

UN: I love and accept al aspects of myself

Chin: I am a strong capable woman

CB: No, I'm not

UA: I need someone to save me

TH: I'm waiting for my prince to come

EB: No I can do this

SE: I am capable

UE: I choose to believe that I am enough as I am now

UN: I've got this covered

Chin: Whew, it feels like a battle raging inside of me

CB: My inner child is not ready to give in

UA: I am not giving up on meeting a good man

TH: I appreciate the man I already have

EB: I am willing to invite in my highest and best self

SE: And know that I am fully provided for 

UE: I can give myself everything I need

( Deep breath)

UN: I can relax and know that I am loved

Chin: I love me

CB: and that is enough

Deep Breath and have a large glass of water.

 This is the start of a process and I suggest that you keep running through the above script and also tap on any other issues that may arise as you tap.

If you are wondering about the arguing back and forth this sets up cognitive dissonance in your brain which helps you clear the blocks and let go of old baggage.

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The things we take for granted

They say that a change is as good as a rest but do you know whats even better? An actual rest.

I've just been away for a short break. A break from work. A break from thinking too much. A break from technology. It was only for four days and it was brilliant.

The day before we went away the power was out until 1o'clock in the afternoon. This meant that all my last minute cleaning and laundry got put on hold for the better part of the day. It was almost like starting the holiday early. There was not a lot we could do so we relaxed and just let the day unfold as it would.

Luckily we had a small gas element so we could make a cup of tea to help us get into relaxed mode. Once the power came back on none of that "important"cleaning stuff seemed so important any more.

Then we were off for our actual holiday. Three nights staying at the lovely Taupo De Bretts; beautiful accommodation, king size bed, underfloor heating and best of all, all day passes for their thermal pools.Starting and ending the day lolling about in delicious hot thermal  pools is my idea of heaven

And then we came home and guess what? the day after we got home the power was off for the whole day . ( Seriously people stop crashing into power poles!) This was the third power outage in two weeks (two due to car accidents and one due to a storm) ( No one was seriously injured in either car accident)

Luckily I was still in holiday mode so decided to stay in my pj's and read all day. Yes, one whole book devoured just like that ( "Screw You Dolores by Sarah Kate Lynch in case you were wondering. Great book, did make me giggle quite a few times. Have now decided that Sarah Kate should be my new best friend! Though I don't drink so that's not likely to happen LOL!)

Things we take for granted

Once the power was restored ( again!) at 4:30 in the afternoon the house started to hum again and it made me realise just how noisy houses are . We don't notice the fridge humming and the whir of the computer until the power goes out and everything is completely silent. In our house when the power goes out so does the water  which can make things tricky. No showers, no flushing the toilet and no cups of tea.... unless there is some water still left in the jug.

So with all these power outages hubby and I are now thinking even more about being self sustaining.. we already have solar for the water heating and a wet back on the wood fire. Now we want to start collecting rain water so we don't have to rely on the town supply. All of which would bring me full circle to how I lived when I first left home. At that time my (ex) husband and I lived with no power. I cooked on a wood stove, which heated our water which we gravity fed from a spring (most delicious water I have ever tasted). I baked all our own bread ( no bread makers in those days), washed nappies in a wringer washing machine that my ex had rigged a lawn mower motor too. I loved it even though it was hard at times.

Now we have instant everything. Power at the flick of a switch. Hot and cold running water that we don't even think about. Instant connectivity via text or email.  Broadband that we moan about not being fast enough. In the process we have lost so much.

Talk to me

One of the things I love about spending time with my husband is how much we still have to talk about..... even after 21 ( nearly 22) years of being together. When we are together we are together. He's not attached to his cell phone checking his texts and neither am I . When we go out to a cafe or to dinner we sit and talk to each other. Sadly that is not that common these days as everyone seems to be gazing wistfully at their smartphone instead of into the eyes of their darling.

Life is short. And these days so is our attention span.

We spend far too much time checking our phones, updating Facebook (I know I am guilty of that!), taking selfies and reading our emails

We spend far too little time talking, hugging, touching, making love and connecting with those right in front of us.

The more we stare at our screens  the less connected we feel to those around us and the lonelier it makes us feel. It seems like everyone else's life is far more interesting than our own. We forget that they are only posting the highlights and often, are tweaking the truth to make it appear better than it actually is.

5 Simple steps to change your life:

(1) Set the timer when you sit down in front of the computer. Doesn't matter whether you set it for 5 minutes or two hours but once it goes off step way from the screen and engage in something else  or with someone  for the same amount of time that you were on the computer.

(2) Keep a gratitude journal. Each day take time to notice what you have in your life that you are grateful for. Try not to repeat the same things each day. Remember to include things like your eyesight, hot and cold running water.
Yesterday when the power finally came back on I took a shower and that water flowing over me  felt so good.

(3) Don't look at your phone.Make a commitment to not look at your phone when you are with ( a) your partner (b) your friends. Just be in the moment. Be present and give them your undivided attention. This alone will improve all your relationships.

(4) Have one day a week without electronics. In the past Sunday was a holy day. A day for going to church or at least, spending with family. Maybe now we need to set aside one day of the week that we do not have our cellphones or computers on. The world will not stop if we do this but our life may improve.

(5) Book a holiday. We all need to rest, relax and recharge. It doesn't have to be a long break, even a weekend away will do. You don't even need to leave home. Staycations are great...... if you commit to connecting with the people that you live with and disconnect from the technological world for the duration.

Bonus!

(6) Read a book. Seriously. Lose yourself in a rollicking good yarn. Nothing beats an actual book. Yes, I do have an e reader. No, I am not completely anti technology. In fact, I love technology and that is part of the problem we all love it so much we forget what it was like before it came along with all its sparkly, glittery distractions. Maybe its time we just took a teeny step back to how life was before. Technology will still be waiting for us when we decide to reconnect. Truly. It will.