This one is not for the faint hearted or those of a delicate constitution. NO! We will be delving into sex and all it's inherent messiness, so if squeamish back away slowly, now. Or run, your call!
A month or so ago I came across a story that , to be honest, had me completely stumped.
It was the one about the penis beaker.
A woman wrote on Mumsnet about her and her husband's after sex clean up routine, at which point my mouth fell open and kinda stayed that way for a while as I slowly shook my head from side to side and I began to feel like I had missed a class in sex ed and , well life , really.
I mean here I am, a grown women of 51 with grown children and grandchildren for, goodness sake, and never once had it crossed my mind to
- instigate a clean up routine after sex
- invest in a penis beaker
In fact, I just can't get my head around the whole need for a clean up routine at all.
Before sex , definitely. After sex, no thanks Id rather drift off in an endorphin, post orgasmic slumber, sounds much more fun.
I mean who really wants to get out of bed in the post coital glow? Or am I , in fact, a dirty, dirty girl???
And why are we all so obsessed with being clean anyway? I have to confess to being a bit of an old hippie. Don't get me wrong, I shower every day and often bath with hubby when he gets home from work ( YUM!) but it seems to me that we all get a tad carried away with all this cleanliness business.
What is wrong with the scent of sex, which to me is delicious(TMI?? again, you have been warned because this post is likely to contain more. Brace your self) or sweat, not stinky I-haven't-showered-all-week-while -working-outside-in-the-hot-sun but fresh, sweat from today, or the delightful smell of your own vagina which emits different smells throughout your cycle.
All that stuff is loaded with pheromones, those lusty little chemicals, that help us to sniff out our ideal mate.The trouble is that we are so obsessed with smothering our natural scents under, deodorants, scented pantyliners, perfumes, moisturisers and anything else with the smell of a thousand flowers that is not our own natural scent.
Heaven forbid that we go around smelling like ourselves. Yes, I shower. Do I wear deodorant? No and haven't for years. Do I wear perfume? Only if it is a natural one and not one that contains synthetic scents in some hideous chemical concoction. Which means generally, no.
But back to sex, it is supposed to be "dirty". A great session involves losing yourself completely in the throes of passion which leaves you with legs too weak to stand, rather than leaping out of bed to "clean up", you relax completely satisfied and blissed to move.
Or is that just me? God, I hope not.
What about you? Do you have a clean up routine? Leave me a comment below.
I love your take on "dirty" sex! It's great to have this kind of honest conversation about what real people think about real sex.
ReplyDeleteThanks for reading Ms.Quote! Yes we do need more open and frank discussions about sex and all it's inherent messiness. I think the more that we can discuss it freely the better life will be for all of us.
DeleteLovely little article Caitlin. I am sure quite confronting for some, especially for those who keep things behind closed doors and don't talk about politics, religion or their private lives.
DeleteI suppose it would depend just how many juicy dirty deeds you and your partner got up to during your lovemaking session whether one decides to go have a quick wipe, or whether a full on bath ritual is needed. For me personally, I need to release after an orgasm, my chakras are cleared and energized, this makes me release and creates the need to urinate, so then afterwards we can snuggle and cuddle for the rest of the night. A quick clean after sex ensures more fun for another session in the middle of the night, or a nice early bonk in the morning before the morning rituals begin..p.s. taking a pee after body fluid exchange kills any nasties that would otherwise find their way into the urinary tract and create bladder infections.
Yes, Pauline it is confronting to some which is a shame.
DeleteI was first informed about the need to urinate after sex by a doctor waaaaay back in the day and if the urge arises then sure taking a pee break is a good idea. But for me personally an enshrined clean up routine like the lady in the Penis Beaker story enacts is just not my style and I'm pretty sure it's not yours either.
There is now right or wrong when it comes to sex ( between consenting adults ). And I guess that includes clean up routines too!
Lol, Penis Beaker, As a man let me tell you this. Most men have sex especially with their wife to shut down the engine. You work from morning till evening you engine is on, So on bed it's time to shut it down. And any extra activities, intense cleaning, going to toilet, noises, ur partner going up n down, turning on bright light are all nuisance to my quiet, peaceful engine. Actually going to toilet after sex, putting on cold water on my body is like turning the engine back on, I can't sleep n I have to find an activity to keep me busy till sleep finds me. Just cuddle and enjoy d calm n peaceful moment.
ReplyDeleteOoooo Anonymous so nice to have a male chime in on the "Penis Beaker"story. Thanks for being here! And I'm with you on this one - snuggling trumps cold water any day.
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