Space clearing your "junk"

There is nothing like a good spring clean to re-energize your home. You get to go through all your stuff, drag it out into the light of day, sort through it all and discard anything that you no longer need.  Then you give everything a good clean and restore order and harmony to your home, usually with several bags of rubbish to be carted off and maybe even some bags to donate to your favourite charity shop.

I am a huge advocate of spring cleaning and will often embark on it at random times of the year. One of my favourite coaches, Denise Duffield-Thomas ( author of Get Rich, Lucky Bitch)  writes about how decluttering can shift your money blocks as well. After reading her Get Rich, Lucky Bitch book I immediately did a huge clean out and, lets be honest, still have more to do!

I also take it a step further and clear the energy of my home.

I read Karen Kingston's book "Creating Sacred Space with Feng Shui", years ago and have been doing this in my home ever since. I have numerous singing bowls and bells dedicated to this purpose and,  a couple of years ago, was able to purchase a crystal singing bowl which is just divine.

Once you have done a space clearing ritual on your home you will notice  a huge difference to the energy, everything just feels crisp and clear.

Maintaining a clear vibration in your home then becomes a much easier task. Burning incense, lighting candles, having fresh flowers in the home and playing music with a high vibration ( such as Deva Premal ) and having salt lamps throughout your home, all contribute to a higher vibration.

So you have shifted all the energy in your home and your life is moving along nicely but lets just pause for a moment and think about the most intimate energetic connection that we make with people. We all know that when we end a relationship we need to clear out the energy of that person.  I know , for myself, whenever I ended a relationship I would get rid of all their things from my home, then get a haircut and reclaim my own space.

BUT we forget one important thing, our body, This is especially true for females as our physical being is literally entered by another person during the act of love making. Not to mention that our DNA's merge to produce any children that we may have.

This picture beautifully illustrates how our chakra systems align and merge during sex.

It is this energy that I am talking about that we need to cleanse and release from our energetic being.

I recently had a hysteroscopy which involves inserting a camera through the cervix into the womb. Prior to that I had several other invasive medical procedures. Women undergo these types of things regularly, throughout their lifetime.

The next time that I had sex with my husband after this procedure I had a momentary flash of the surgeon as my husband entered me and I burst into tears. A flood of other memories then came surging forward too.All the times in my life that I had felt violated in one way or another. I then spent the rest of the morning clearing out all these old stagnant energies and I realized just how much we store in our wombs,  cervix and vagina.

I have since read that the vagina is like a sponge for emotional debris that we don't know how to process. This then impacts on all levels of our sexuality and our sexual expression.

Think for a moment how many sexual partners that you have had in your lifetime. Now think of how many times you have had cervical smears or any other procedure that required something to be inserted into your vagina. Think back to when you first started menstruating and how you felt about tampons and bleeding.

I did a reiki session on a client who had been cheated on by her husband and as I was doing the session I very clearly got the image of a knife in her vagina which, to me, represented the hurt and betrayal that she had felt from this incident.

Reiki and EFT are two of the most powerful ways that I know to cleanse and clear old energies and often, uncover memories that we had hidden deep within us.
If you think you could benefit from an energetic cleanse contact me via my Facebook page

Sex 101

I love sex.

I read about sex........ all the time.

Sex fascinates me and is my drug of choice. Having a bad day? Sex will cheer you up. Having a great day? Sex will make it better.

I've been studying it for , well, forever. Obviously when I was preteen it was not on the agenda but once I hit my teens ( and could get my hands on anything sex related) I read about it.

Now, lets just be clear; I was not overly promiscuous, no, I was a good Catholic girl but it still fascinated me. I had my first sexual encounter at 16 with a 26 year old. I had always know that I wanted an older guy to do the deed as I had already had enough of young boy fumblings. To say that I was disappointed would be a gross understatement but I had yet to achieve orgasm so its hardly a surprise.

So I am constantly surprised that with all the information that we have at our fingertips how little people know about sex.

I just spent  half an hour on the phone with a client who is  in his 30's explaining the ins and outs ( pun intended) of sex with an older woman. He was desperate to please her but really had little knowledge of how a womans body works, let alone an older woman.

The biggest thing we all seem to forget is that the brain is the biggest, most reliable and most under used sex organ that we have. If you stimulate the brain enough all sorts of magical things can and do happen. Communication, or lack of it, is the biggest mistake that we make when it comes to sex. We seem to think that the other person, if they truly loved us, would know what to do; how to stroke us, where to stroke us, which areas light us up and which ones do absolutely nothing for us.

But love ( or lust) does not automatically make us a mind reader and unfortunately most of us are too shy, too scared of seeming pervy, too inhibited, too frustrated or too hurt from past relationships to open our mouths and say exactly what it is that (a) we want or (b) we like. And yet that is the only way that our partner can know what to do.

We have been taught by the media that sex looks a certain way and that all sorts of bells and whistles go off without much effort when in actual fact only about 20% of woman achieve orgasm through penetration alone. Most woman will need digital or oral stimulation to achieve the orgasms that seem so effortless on our screens.

Lubrication is often an issue but you never see it used in movies or porn. In fact I read a story of a  teenage girl being accused of being "disgusting"by her ( soon to be ex) boyfriend because she was too wet. He had been "educated"by porn and didn't realise that  girls get wet when aroused and found it "repulsive". I feel quite sorry for him and her. She now has hang ups about a perfectly natural function of her body.
But this is what happens when we give our kids no information and they  "educate"themselves with porn which is easily accessible via the internet.

Yes, we have basic information of the what-goes -where type when it comes to sex education but there is never any talk of intimacy or trust  or emotional connection. There is no discussion of exploring each others bodies and of exploring your sexuality. No, because that would encourage promiscuity and if we are truly honest with ourselves, makes parents, teacher and teenagers alike a tad uncomfortable.

I remember talking about sex with my own sons and how cringey they found it but I explained it to them this way "I am your mother. It is my job to keep you safe so this is information that you need to keep you safe." I also ensured that sex books that I had were not hidden away but openly displayed on our bookshelf so that had all the information that they needed without having to talk to me.

So what  questions do you have about sex? What information do you wish that you had or would you like covered in a coming blog? Leave me a comment here on on my facebook page here.

Life interrupted

You know how it is ; one minute your life is sailing along and the next you somehow get derailed, shunted sideways by life and you are no longer sure of which way is up.

That's what has happened to me.

somehow or other I lost my footing on my path and took a tumble. While I was down there I started questioning what the hell it was that I was even doing? Why did I write my blog? Why did I have a Facebook page? Why did I feel an overwhelming urge to share all the ins and outs of my life with you, the faceless readers? Why? Why?
 And I found I didn't have a decent reason to.

So I stopped.

I shut down my business.

I closed my Facebook page.

I logged out of Linked In.

I kept Twitter and Google+ ( mainly because I forgot I had it LOL) and I kept my blog. Only I didn't really post anymore - just sporadic bursts of indignation that the world had not healed itself yet goddammit! and why were we still being so vile to one another??

During all this time I have taken a wander deep, deep, deep ( yup that deep!) into myself.

I did a 21 day mantra meditation journey with Deva Premal because chanting always grounds me. In fact I'm listening to mantras on Grooveshark as I'm writing this.

I have returned to my gratitude journal to give daily thanks for everything in my life; the good , the bad and the ugly  as it were.

I have practised daily EFT as I go to sleep and as I awake every morning and night for weeks.

I have  read and read and read some more.
I have blobbed out in front of mindless television,  watching all the episodes of Game of Thrones and Breaking Bad back to back.
I have practiced hoóponopono for anything and everything that you can imagine.
I have given myself daily Reiki sessions.

And I still feel broken, lost and confused.

Until last night.

I have taken a part time job working night shift at a small kiwifruit lab. I have made a few friends and one of them asked me a few days ago why and how I always stayed positive. she sees me as the woman who always has a smile on her face and who is always upbeat ( ahhh the masks that we wear)  So I shared with her some of the things that I have been doing ( listed above) and suggested that she think of 5 things that she could be grateful for and a few other simple suggestions.

Last night she thanked me for helping her and when I shared that this was the work I had been doing before starting at the lab she said "Well you are really good at it and you should go back to it"

Now I had spent the night doing my work and asking the angels for guidance, for some sign of what my next step should be.

Do you think I got my answer? I do.

So I have decided I am going to start, gently easing myself back into........ something.

I have a passion for helping woman feel comfortable with their bodies the way that they are now. You see often we get the "I"ll be happy when"syndrome : I'll be happy when I lose  x number of pounds/kilos, I'll be happy when I can fit into a size...., I'll be happy when I get the perfect haircut, I'll be happy when  I have bigger/smaller breasts, I'll be happy when ...... and the list never ends..... and we never realise that we get to choose to be happy now.

 I am passionate about making the world a better place to live by showing people how to love themselves first and foremost because in loving yourself and having compassion for all the fuck ups that you make in your own life you will have so much more compassion for everyone else that you ever come in contact with. In my work I have found that the person most people struggle to forgive the most is not the person who inflicted incredible pain on them; no, they struggle most in forgiving themselves. I know that this has been what I am struggling with and the more that I forgive myself the happier I am with my life.

I am passionate about writing.

I am passionate about having the best, juiciest relationship int he world and helping others to achieve a deep level of intimacy that they may not have reached before. I believe that we connect with each other on a primal level when we engage in sex and sometime those "hooks"need to be released from past sexual encounters so that we can move into a deeper connection with the person in front of us now. Sexual wounding happens to all of us from time to time but we tend to push it down or deny to our selves that it ever took place and by doing this we shut off part of our sexual juice.

I could go on .... and on but somehow I am going to pull all the threads of my passions into SOMETHING. So brace yourself World, I'm back on track and with a firmer grasp of who I am and what my purpose is.

Wish me luck xx